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my child overcomplicates simple outdoor games & gives instructions for ages.

(5 Posts)
naomiface Fri 16-Sep-11 16:26:42

I try to encourage just playing, instead of all the talk that goes on before hand, but of course he then gets frustrated that i'm not listening to him & his endless rules. I try not to be bossy as i know i am ALWAYS setting an example. I think his grandma is bossy & they've played this way. I don't know how to move forward positively! Sometimes it's great for him to make up games & describe them to me, but not every time i pick up a ball, it gets so tedious, i kind of think he should try & understand that people just want to play sometimes without being bossed about. Any suggestions? Many thanks. Naomi.

DownyEmerald Fri 16-Sep-11 22:32:08

This is my dd. I try and play with her simple things like catch or football or tennis because tbh her coordination isn't great and she needs the practice. But no, after about three goes we have to add extra elements, and as these develop basically the catching/kicking/tennis element goes out the window.

So I have no ideas, but I'm interested to see what everyone else has to say.

She also does with indoor imaginative games as well - a total running commentary as she changes all the elements. "You're the childminder mummy, no I'm the childminder, you're the big sister and I'm 1, no I'm zero mummy and you're the teenager, no you can be the daddy and I'm the mummy. It used to drive me up the wall, but I've got the hang of it now - I just zone out the details of what she's saying and carry on with what I think she wants me to do "shall I drive? you carry the baby? shall we have a picnic" etc.

theyoungvisiter Fri 16-Sep-11 22:43:11

ha ha this is my DS1! The instructions usually last longer than the game. He also does it at parties which is rather trying. And YY to the complicated imaginary games too.

You don't say your DS's age but mine is 5 and I think a lot of it is to do with the fact that he's just encountering organised games at school for the first time. He spends all day listening to the teacher giving instructions and having (as he sees it) all the fun, so naturally he wants to be in charge when he's at home.

I think it's normal and part of them trying to understand rules etc. But I'll be interested to see if anyone has any strategies as it can sometimes be awkward in social situations - eg when he wants to spend most of his birthday party instructing people in complicated variants to pass the parcel...

festi Fri 16-Sep-11 22:52:56

this is my dd too. I get her to take in in turns at being in control of the game and then playing it without anyone controling it, if she muscles into my turn I will literaly sit it out untill she palys it my way and if she takes over the no control I sit it out awell untill she just shuts up gets on with it.

it is tiresome and infuriating, but not unusual behaviour.

naomiface Sat 17-Sep-11 11:35:18

Hi guys, your comments have made me feel soooooo much better, so thankyou! I had got upset because other people had started to notice it & say they'd never seen anything like it. My DS is 3.5 years old. I guess i'll do the take in turns to be in control kind of thing, thanks! I have tried to tell him that he is in control of his own mind, but not other peoples minds (when he's got upset at not getting his own way). I do think it all gets worse when he's tired. He still needs a nap in the afternoon, not very convenient, but nor is the alternative! (meltdown). Anyway, nice to know we are "normal". Thanks!

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