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Do you judge people on how they voted?

(348 Posts)
Rock4please Thu 01-Aug-19 07:55:35

Just that really. I used to have an open mind on meeting somebody new but, if I discover that they voted leave, I am not interested in furthering the relationship. Similarly, with Americans, I don’t want to associate with anyone who supports Trump.

Am I being unfair and narrow minded or do you judge new people in a similar way?

OP’s posts: |
RedSheep73 Thu 01-Aug-19 07:59:46

If I know they support leave, well obviously that makes a difference. It doesn't mean I'll never talk to tgem again, but it's like finding out they're a Tory - you know their fundamental values must ve very different from yours.

Todaythiscouldbe Thu 01-Aug-19 08:00:26


bodgeitandscarper Thu 01-Aug-19 08:02:55

I think you'd need to understand their reasons for voting leave, they may have very valid ones. Until you've walked a mile in another man's shoes and all that. I have friends who vote differently to me all the time for all sorts of reasons, it doesn't make me any less accepting of them and vice versa.

JenniR29 Thu 01-Aug-19 08:05:41

I know people who voted leave but have since changed their mind or they just don’t mention it at all. I’m still friends with them but I honestly think if you still 100% support Brexit knowing how devastating it’s likely to be (even more so now it looks like a no deal is on the cards) I do have to question your values and motives. Same for if you still support Trump knowing he’s nailed his fascist colours to the mast.

TheVanguardSix Thu 01-Aug-19 08:05:50

I do. Yes. I do judge. I am sure they judge me.
I don't fall out with friends who vote for what I consider to be the opposition. Always understand the opposition and make room for listening to people's reasons for voting that way.
I have to say, I am not surrounded by people who vote differently to me. Perhaps there are one or two in my circle. I think I'd feel differently if everyone around me loved the likes of Trump. I'd feel a bit more 'surrounded' in a negative sense.

Bluntness100 Thu 01-Aug-19 08:05:51

To an extent yes, but not to the extent that I would not associate with them. I have friends who voted leave. We have discussed it heatedly but they are still my friends, and I wouldn't refuse to associate with someone due to their politics, I also work with some Americans who support trump, again as much as I don't agree with their politics I don't judge to the extent it's a relationship ender.

Lweji Thu 01-Aug-19 08:06:44

I have to say yes.
Unless they are able to give a reasonable and intelligent reason. Nothing so car.

Lweji Thu 01-Aug-19 08:07:15


missmouse101 Thu 01-Aug-19 08:08:23

Yab totally and utterly unreasonable. There's far more to people than how they voted FGS. How sanctimonious. I NEVER tell anyone how I vote in anything, including H. It's my own private business.

Ohyesiam Thu 01-Aug-19 08:08:51

I think you are just bringing your intelligence to bear on it, rather than judging.

AntiHop Thu 01-Aug-19 08:12:33

It is 100% clear that the referendum was won due to corruption and lies. It is 100% clear that no deal brexit was not put forward as what brexit means during the campaign. It is 100% clear that brexit will be a disaster for our country.

If someone continue to put their head in the sand about the above and continue to support brexit, then I could not be close friends with them.

notjustanexpat Thu 01-Aug-19 08:13:03

Yes, because I am someone from an EEA country.

I tend to just ask them, "So you want people like me out of the country?" and the answer has always been yes. Not even a polite half-excuse, just "yeah, pretty much". Enough of a statement for me to cut that conversation short.

Quellium Thu 01-Aug-19 08:13:30

Yes. Leave supporters who still support Leave and No Deal, I have no interest in starting / continuing a friendship with. Same with Trump supporters. I've met a couple of them here and just thought 'oh, I've always suspected this about you, this just confirms it for me'.

Never used to bother if people supported political parties, but now would if it was the Brexit Company, extreme Tory (same thing), maybe even just Tory come to think of it, a Corbynista Labour or a Yaxley Lennon fan.

iVampire Thu 01-Aug-19 08:14:20

I hope not

Whatever happens next, the last thing we need is to add to divisions within the country

VashtaNerada Thu 01-Aug-19 08:14:29

Yes! I could potentially change my mind if they explain why they voted that way and it sounds reasonable but if they’re “I voted conservative because I think the welfare state should be reduced and we should have fewer immigrants” I would find it hard to maintain a close friendship.

JenniR29 Thu 01-Aug-19 08:14:50

How you vote is a reflection of your core values. Obviously there is more to someone than their political allegiance but it’s a good place to start if you are getting to know someone.

I just couldn’t turn a blind eye to someone actively supporting the likes of Trump or Farage. I’m sure they couldn’t turn a blind eye to me supporting a left wing party and remain either.

AlexaShutUp Thu 01-Aug-19 08:16:40

Yes, absolutely. I do judge.

Obviously, I appreciate that there is a range of reasons why people voted leave, but in the vast majority of cases, I find that their arguments don't stack up. There may be the odd exception, but they're few and far between.

Two of my friends voted leave. They are nice people, both intelligent. Both of them freely admit, though, that they're not interested in politics, don't really watch the news etc. One voted leave because she didn't like David Cameron and she wanted to wipe the smile off his smug face. The other felt that she was being told by the government to vote remain and she didn't like being told what to do. Neither had really thought about the consequences. One of them definitely regrets it now. I don't know about the other as we haven't discussed it since the referendum. I still see both of them, but if I'm honest, I do feel differently about them now. I have lost a lot of respect for them.

CrunchyCarrot Thu 01-Aug-19 08:20:19

No. Because there's more to a person than how they voted in the Referendum. I may have a lot in common with someone who voted differently (or didn't vote at all! Remember, lots of people never voted.) or I may have little in common with them. There's enough judgement going on in the world without adding yet more.

Disfordarkchocolate Thu 01-Aug-19 08:20:44

No, I must know hundreds of conservative voters because they are in power. I think they have some truly cruel policies perfectly nice people find a way of ignoring that.

coffeeforone Thu 01-Aug-19 08:22:40

Only if they haven't since changed their mind. If they now say they regret it I wouldn't judge so much.

Rock4please Thu 01-Aug-19 08:24:30

Thank you for your replies. Interestingly, only two of my friends voted Leave and of course they are still my friends, and I would still be polite to new people I meet who say they are in favour of leave. However, I agree with the poster who said that it is about knowing that someone doesn’t share your values.

And the situation is different now from how it was three years ago, with our new PM talking as though we were at war with our closest friends, allies and trading partners. I just can’t understand it and I just can’t understand why anyone would support it unless they are mad or racist or both. Sorry.

OP’s posts: |
Accountant222 Thu 01-Aug-19 08:25:55

Oh for gods sake what is the point of asking? Anyone with a different opinion on Brexit threads gets their arse handed to them on a plate

JamesBlonde1 Thu 01-Aug-19 08:26:11

I am friends on Facebook with people who voted remain. I voted leave.

I am still friends with those, like me, who don't post hysterical comments about what's going to happen when we do leave.

Those who have become hysterical, I have unfriended. I can't be arsed reading it. Same with the Boris Johnson haters. Can't be arsed.

BTW, I'm not going to justify on this thread why I voted leave. I don't have time to respond to all the hysteria.

So no, it's not the way they voted, it's all the "I'm terrified" shite I'm not listening to.

JenniR29 Thu 01-Aug-19 08:26:42

As someone mentioned before, I am unable to see a compelling and well thought out argument for leaving now (at the time of the referendum I could see their point of view even if I didn’t agree but now it’s totally clear it was all lies).

In an admittedly snobby way it makes me question the die hard leavers intelligence and susceptibility to propaganda. I’m willing to listen but I haven’t come across a convincing argument yet.

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