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Westministenders: KAAAAABBBOOOOOOOOMMMMM

(993 Posts)
RedToothBrush Tue 30-Jan-18 00:18:00

'Quick' Recap.

Once upon a time, despite warnings to the contrary after previously attempting to recreate a speech from the 1930s, Theresa May triggered a50.

A series of events, which included a disastrous unnecessary General Election and losing seats, ensured that we have Brexit by Timetable in which every piece of goodwill was burnt up a long time ago, and the EU decided to go "see ya then".

Only this General Election, made this politically impossible as well as practically impossible, given how this would destroy our economy.

So May did the only thing she could and agreed to lock us in with sufficient progress deal, which is legally binding, if no deal is agreed. Thus giving us in essence a choice between staying in the Single Market and Customs Union due to NI or breaking an international agreement which would destroy all our international credibility and trust.

Except none of the Brexiteers really grasped what was happening. Until this week.

In the meantime we still have had spectacles of Nadine Dorries asking on the infamous WhatsApp Group why we can't stay in the CU. Any Davis saying that he has now apparently 'changed his mind' on the matter. Not that Labour are any better, with Corbyn saying we can't stay in the Single Market and leave the EU. Except of course, Norway is in the Single Market...

Fast forward through a sex scandal that's swept through Westminster, installing self appointing the vampiric Gavin Williamson as Defence Secretary, we eventually ended up with a reshuffle which was possibly as pointless and as successful as the General Election. And Gavin Williamson is caught up in a sex scandal.

May has managed to drag the Great Repel Bill through the Commons, without breaking the party, but with much back room dealing and compromise with Remainers. Hailed as something of a victory by Brexiteers, this rather is a fools paradise. At what price to their ideological purity did this come? Is there much Brexit left? And there is much more to come in the Lords, with the LDs committed to working with Labour on securing at least 10 amendments. The two parties have a majority in the Lords if they work together.

Away from parliament we have had the glorious demise of Toby Young, who is forever to be remembered for eugenics.

As it has become apparent that we are increasingly looking like we are on track for BINO, the EU have told us, that we should have sucked up a compromise proposal earlier and now the Norway Option is off the table as we fucked that up by taking too long to disagree amongst ourselves and being arses to EU citz. I paraphrase slightly here, but that's about he long and short of it. Instead we get the pleasure of 21 months of the EU interfering in our law without representation. And we are already locked into this. Now Leavers can moan about this, and shock horror, actually be correct about it too! Transition will be up to 31st Dec 2020 at the latest. Which realistically is still too soon, not that any lying arsed Brexiteer is willing to admit to this. Yet.

The only way to get out of this proposal for better terms? Either beg the EU for something there is no way they will give us or revoke / extend a50.

The fall out from May's reshuffle is still going on in slow motion. Rees-Mogg has got a bigger platform to spout shit he knows nothing about, admit that he has never changed a nappy nor wiped his own arse, thinks women should give birth to football teams, and how he has never visited IKEA and has no plans to do so. Johnson has tried to build bridges. And effed that one up again. Gove has made us all be obsessed by plastic straws and turn into environmental maniacs because no other minister is good at press releases and media stunts. Arch Remainac Liddington, got Deputy PM and took over Brexshit even more from DExEU. Hunt is in no way after becoming PM and Greening is really pissed and when straight back to lead from the Naughty Step.

To cut the long story short: they all hate May and think she's shit

There are thought to be nearly 48 letters to trigger a leadership election in Graham Brady's hands. But not quite. And its not about the letters its about needing 159 MPs to no confidence her... but that is starting to sound more and more plausible in the face of Brexshit hitting the fan.

We now have a leaked impact assessment that we really were not supposed to see which is slightly less worse than Project Fear. But not by much. Its supposed to be by DExEU. Its been suggested that its actually by alt-DExEU aka the Cabinet Department (Robbins and Liddington).

Anyway, nothing is decided. May might zombie on forever. She won't, she's in a crowded field of Tories with stakes. But that sub-committee meeting on Wed 7th Feb is crunch time for something or someone.

Tick tock, tick tock, went the Brexit Clock.

Oh yeah and there's going to be a trade war between the US and EU. And there's some stuff about a ex-Belize diplomat. And Trump's coming to visit us.

BigChocFrenzy Tue 30-Jan-18 00:23:47

Yay, I'm first grin < skips in >
Thanks again, red thanks

Baffling times

BigChocFrenzy Tue 30-Jan-18 00:26:44

Oh and bugger you, peregrina grin
After your last post, I totally fancy a Milk Tray and also the handsome devil fighting off villains to deliver my chocs …
(and even better to bugger off discreetly without nicking any)

Peregrina Tue 30-Jan-18 00:33:40

To cut the long story short: they all hate May and think she's shit

But most of them weren't prepared to step up and put their names forward as Leader. That's you, Johnson, the obvious candidate, Rees - Smug, Deadwood Redwood, and a few others. Yes, we can all criticise from the sidelines.

SusanWalker Tue 30-Jan-18 00:34:25

Place mark.

Peregrina Tue 30-Jan-18 00:34:56

Best I can do BigChoc cake cake

mrsreynolds Tue 30-Jan-18 02:27:20

Place mat king

Waddlelikeapenguin Tue 30-Jan-18 02:48:08

May might zombie on forever. She won't, she's in a crowded field of Tories with stakes. grin

OlennasWimple Tue 30-Jan-18 02:55:02

PLace mat king here too, thanks Red

And yy, Peregrina, it's easy to complain anonymously to "friends" (who conveniently tell the media all about it) that TM is shit, far harder to stand up as a credible opponent and demonstrate how to do the job better. (That includes you, Mr Corbyn)

AnakinCyberwalker Tue 30-Jan-18 05:38:04

santa

mathanxiety Tue 30-Jan-18 06:13:15

Trade war between the US and the EU - yup, and that's why Brexit was so important to the Mercers, et al. Chipping away at every crack.

Great summary RTB - thank you.

lonelyplanetmum Tue 30-Jan-18 06:23:20

Place matting with everlasting thanks to 📕tooth 🖌.

My night thoughts were this. I know the causes behind this whole mess before and following the referendum are complex. It's a combination of responses to austerity, the banking and refugee crises, unequal distribution of wealth,UKIP, NHS, fear of terrorism, years of biased Eurosceptic press, deceits etc etc.

However another fundamental cause was Cameron's fit of pique at the impossibility of controlling a long established schism in the Tory party. This party division was:

1. a very important root cause of this mess; and
2. is an insurmountable barrier to getting us out of this mess too.

At the end of the day it's what? How many MPs? (35 according to Anna Soubury).

I don't know where I'm going with these thoughts.All I know is that it's absurd. Inflexible opinions, inability to compromise and polarisation within one party caused this and are preventing a resolution too.

LukeCagesWife Tue 30-Jan-18 06:40:45

Having spent the last week a bit confused by the govt shenanigans, I just want to say thanks for that summary!

P.S love the BJ/Bridges pun 😁

DGRossetti Tue 30-Jan-18 06:47:31

.

GreenSeededGrape Tue 30-Jan-18 06:50:07

Place mat. I've missed a few threads but time to get back on.

Dobby1sAFreeElf Tue 30-Jan-18 06:58:20

Thanks rtb
Those assessments eh? Its almost as if believing isn't enough.

woman11017 Tue 30-Jan-18 07:02:15

smile thank you red

frumpety Tue 30-Jan-18 07:02:53

Thank you Red .

annandale Tue 30-Jan-18 07:09:21

I guess it is a bit like a civil war. I think of all the voters who have put Bill Cash and Peter Bone into Parliament year after year, and the ones who voted Farage to the top of the MEP lists for a nightmare length of time, and I just feel this huge gulf in the country.

Motheroffourdragons Tue 30-Jan-18 07:18:19

Thanks yet again, Red flowers

IrenetheQuaint Tue 30-Jan-18 07:22:55

wine

QuentinSummers Tue 30-Jan-18 07:34:22

brew

QuentinSummers Tue 30-Jan-18 07:35:23

They are discussing the leaked impact assessments on the BBC! May is going to have a bad day I think shock

SugarMilk Tue 30-Jan-18 07:36:54

brew x

WifeofDarth Tue 30-Jan-18 07:44:17

Still here - thanks Red et al

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