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If you could spend a day with Theresa, what would you do and say?

(33 Posts)
lonelyplanetmum Fri 12-May-17 20:19:46

I ponder what I would do if Theresa would spend a normal day with me. I think about this a lot..... We'd  do the school run, work, lurk on MN that sort of thing.However I'd introduce her to people along the way.

So what would you do....? 

lonelyplanetmum Fri 12-May-17 20:21:19

I'll start.
 At 6.15 am she can borrow my bike and cycle into work with DH through the pollution.She could borrow his spare lycra! En route they can discuss global warming/climate change/ fossil fuels, CO2, methane, nitrous oxide emissions etc. In particular DH will mention the EU achievements including 2030 framework and commitment to reducing greenhouse gas emissions by at least 40%.

At 7.30 am she can come back for breakfast (no chips, perhaps croissants) with my primary age  DD who will ask why Auntie Theresa supports chasing a fox until it is too weak to run then literally tearing it to death.DD will probably include something a boy in her class mentioned about hounds pulling a pregnant fox from her den and ripping her apart.

At 8.30 am we will walk on  the school run where I'll introduce her to a few other parents along the way......

VeuveVera Fri 12-May-17 20:24:30

I'd tell her to stand/sit up straight

Theworldisfullofidiots Fri 12-May-17 20:26:35

Ask her if she wants to take my place when I lead a meeting with parents to tell them the school is broke. Or the discussion with staff and governors when I relay the news that the govt thinks we spend too much money. Apparently we could spend less on teachers and recruitment. (we are volunteers for God's sake and we spend hours of our own time reviewing contracts and pairing everything to the bone and where we can replacing leaving staff with NQTs)

noblegiraffe Fri 12-May-17 20:27:35

I'd dump her on a dinghy in the Mediterranean and tell her to make her own way home.

lonelyplanetmum Fri 12-May-17 20:30:44

Great minds think alike! At 11 am we were going to meet my neighbour for a coffee.She's a headteacher and despite deciding not to replace TAs who leave some time ago and only recruiting NQTs, she still is £80,000 short on her school budget.

AlwaysTheWinner Fri 12-May-17 20:31:01

I'd take her for a spa day, she could probably do with a bit of time to relax!
<misses point of thread>

whatwouldrondo Fri 12-May-17 21:15:00

Anyone who has read Kate Atkinson's Life after Life, yes that, though obviously only after living the future lives blighted by her legacy. Who knows? Perhaps she is just a blip and normal service will resume shortly, or the unicorns will appear over the hill. I really don't think so, and they had better show up soon as ether is enough damage already.

Sadly I think showing her the reality of that damage will get you nowhere . If you are not a Tory with a Maidenhead state of mind she is deaf and blind.

kalinkafoxtrot45 Fri 12-May-17 21:19:17

I'd put chewing gum in her hair, jam in her handbag and tell her to fuck off. Don't think anything you say to her or do with her would have any impact, so you might as well have some fun.

Anon213 Fri 12-May-17 21:46:12

Momentum must be very flush tonight.

MrsSummerisle Fri 12-May-17 21:52:48

I'd ask her how grand it is to be the second female Conservative Prime Minister while senior Labour women are fobbed off with deputy and caretaker leadership positions at best smile

Peregrina Sat 13-May-17 14:48:37

I'd ask her if she knew what 'The buck stops here.' meant. No doubt the response would be Strong and Stable.

lonelyplanetmum Sun 14-May-17 08:57:02

I suppose it is absurd to think a normal day meeting some of my friends would persuade Theresa to take the country on a different path?! I just think that if all politicians were less removed from normal life ( perhaps with some EU born friends)things may be different..

So in my day it's 
6.30-she  cycles with DH ( agenda EU leading international initiatives on climate change)
7.30 - breakfast with DD and discussion of fox hunting barbarism ...
8.30 - call for my friend on the way to school.Theresa can chat to our youngest children, who are classmates, as we walk. My friend and her DH  have lived here for over 20 years, but both were born in Germany.The kids were born here. They are a lovely family (we went away at Easter with them) they have a  welcoming home with homemade cakes always on offer! Up until June 2016 they were  really involved in the community,church and  PTA, fund raising, baking cakes, organising the silent auction,raffles  etc. Also both work hard, one for a children's charity, contributing a lot as taxpayers over 20 years. They have been subdued, withdrawn and confused since last June as they  feel unwanted here and unappreciated, and of course, have been tentatively house,job and school hunting in Germany.

I'm finding this therapeutic but have a free slot at 9 am if anyone else wants to share a part of their normal day with Theresa...

RedToothBrush Sun 14-May-17 09:35:08

After sneaking in the back door to see her?

Let me be clear I've already made my position on this. I would say that her strong and stable leadership is a load of undemocratic crock. Her coalition of chaos with UKIP is nonsense.

Then like all Doctor Who episodes I'd win by pressing her restart button so the May-Bot stops malfunctioning.

lonelyplanetmum Sun 14-May-17 11:46:13

It's a kind of fantasy, there'd be no sneaking in the back door Red....she agrees to spend the day with me, is dropped off in the morning at my house like a long play date until supper time.By meeting normal people throughout the day she does a volte face.

At one time I'd have fantasised about a day with Timothy Dalton or Louis Theroux...but now I plan days with Theresa. Except I'd be too scared.

noblegiraffe Sun 14-May-17 12:39:18

No chance of her meeting normal people. She is going around the country followed by a bus of hand-picked supporters and waiting till all the normal people are cleared out of buildings before doing her rally there.

Or so I hear.

RedToothBrush Sun 14-May-17 13:25:42

Will May's bodyguards Fiona Hill and Nick Timothy be there?

noblegiraffe Sun 14-May-17 13:31:02

Bodyguards? Don't you mean puppet masters?

lonelyplanetmum Sun 14-May-17 23:16:17

Yikes I've not thought this through, I imagined Theresa being dropped off on her own,and just hanging out with me for the day. I forgotten about the Chiefs of staff. Hmmmmm.....need to think of way to get her on her own...

squishysquirmy Sun 14-May-17 23:22:22

I like the idea of spending the day showing her why she is wrong, like the three ghosts of Christmas, but unfortunately I doubt that anything would get through. So instead I would take the moral low ground: Trick her into starring in some very shocking photos. Maybe urinating on a portrait of the Queen, or putting a pensioner (even better a WWII veteran) in a choke hold for kicks, or throwing a cat in a bin.

Then I would release those photos/footage to the voting public. Hopefully it would be enough to reduce her majority a bit, although a lot of people would still vote for her no matter what. sad

It would be tricky to engineer those situations, and morally murky, but I'm willing to get my hands dirty.

squishysquirmy Sun 14-May-17 23:23:11

lonelyplanetmum: Drugs in their tea.

MagicTractor Sun 14-May-17 23:23:32

I would get my three year old to repeat Brexit means Brexit and Strong and Stable until she begged me for mercy.

LockedOutOfMN Sun 14-May-17 23:27:59

Bit personal but I'd take her to a school. Any school, for a day. Not as a visitor with any special status but as a member of that school's community, maybe a student with pupil premium, maybe a parent of a child with sen, maybe a TA whose job is about to be cut, maybe a teacher with oversized classes and no resources. Just the everyday life of any British state school.

SapphireStrange Tue 16-May-17 16:18:26

I'd just ask her how she sleeps at night.

I might take her to an NHS hospital, a school with stressed and absent teachers and not enough money, a food bank...

LittleMissCrappy Wed 17-May-17 13:48:09

I would give her the opportunity to be a A&E nurse in the morning, a teacher in a secondary school in the afternoon, a food bank worker in the evening, and a helper in a homeless shelter at night.

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