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Brexit making me sad about parents

(75 Posts)
aelah Fri 22-Jul-16 14:54:35

Both my parents voted out. I voted in. They are mid 50's I am 32 with a 4 year old.

They are constantly dismissing my fears as 'believing the hype and spin' when in reality I think it's the other way round.

When I post something vaguely remainer ish on FB they jump on and tell me to 'stop worrying' and 'be happy we have control
Of our own destiny now'

Is it just me or is anyone getting increasingly pissed off? I feel like I voted based on the (limited) facts available and because I feel like people my age have already had it shot (with uni fees, recession, unable to buy houses, soaring childcare) etc. But my parents just keep wittering on about 'taking back control' and 'being in control
Of our own destiny'. To me these are meaningless statements.... And I'm getting annoyed.

Short of barring theme both from my FB, what can I do?

beenaroundawhile Fri 22-Jul-16 14:59:06

A lot of the older generation voted out "for the future of my children and grandchildren", yet their children and grandchildren voted to remain. They therefore completely cancelled out each other's vote.

If the older generation really did want to vote for the future of their kids they should have voted WITH them, not against them.

Personally I think until we know more, just don't talk about it. I also think that we haven't seen the end of the saga either, there are more twists to come.

BakewellSliceAgain Fri 22-Jul-16 15:07:49

I think not mentioning it, unless to a sympathetic ear, is the way to go.

"Least said, soonest mended" is the cliche I find it useful to stick to in such circumstances.

Peregrina Fri 22-Jul-16 15:24:38

Do they ever say what they mean by 'taking back control'?

Can you ask them how they will help your children by a house, or go to university? Or what about a decent job which comes with a pension? (I am a Remainer who is older than them BTW.)

Someone in today's Guardian is calling for a revitalised Commonwealth as the solution. I couldn't help thinking that if trading with the Commonwealth had been the way to go, wouldn't we have stayed out of the Common Market in the seventies? Added to which, what do countries like e.g. Ghana, Fiji and India have in common with each other? They happen to be countries that we colonised and exploited.

LurkingHusband Fri 22-Jul-16 16:32:59

Someone in today's Guardian is calling for a revitalised Commonwealth as the solution. I couldn't help thinking that if trading with the Commonwealth had been the way to go, wouldn't we have stayed out of the Common Market in the seventies?

Given the Commonwealth is a lot of Indian and African countries, I suspect a lot of Brexiters will be a tad taken aback when we ramp up immigration from there ...

PigletWasPoohsFriend Fri 22-Jul-16 16:38:36

I voted remain.

However everyone had one vote to do with as they wished.

No one has a crystal ball to see what the future would be like in or out. No one 15 years ago would have said the EU woUldale be what it is today.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Fri 22-Jul-16 16:39:03


Underparmummy Fri 22-Jul-16 16:44:09

Cameron should never have held the referendum. This wasn't for the people to decide. It was for the very well paid politicians to earn their wage and decide.

There were no rules or regulations on the referendum either.

Fucking shambles all round

beenaroundawhile Fri 22-Jul-16 17:30:49

Do they ever say what they mean by 'taking back control

To me this has nothing to do with the EU, the reality of what they have done is take control of the decision away from the more informed, more qualified and democratically elected politicians who we voted to represent our local and national interests just two years ago, and put it firmly into the hands of 45 million people who were ill prepared, lied to misinformed and largely unable to see beyond their front doorstep into the big wide world at what it all means.

Slow clap...

If the country was so well placed to make decisions of such magnitude, why do we need politicians anyway? Massive expedient gone wrong.

Basicbrown Fri 22-Jul-16 17:50:19

Short of barring theme both from my FB, what can I do?

Accept they have different views to you and avoid discussing it....?

Sooverthis Fri 22-Jul-16 18:13:08

^^ this in spades no one knows what will actually happen so assume they voted for what they believed was the best and accept they have different views from you

crazyhead Fri 22-Jul-16 18:38:51

Personally I am so furious about the Leave vote that in your shoes would talk to them directly, tell them that you feel devastated by the vote, that you and your children will bear the costs of it rather than them because of your age and that you ask as a matter of decency and courtesy that they never mention it to you again, including on social media? But I am very, very upset due to the devastating impact it will have on my sector (universities) - normally I'm calm about pretty much everything! It really depends on the depth of your feeling.

Helmetbymidnight Fri 22-Jul-16 18:45:01

Lurking, this has become a great pleasure since brexit. To say to brexit voters, that there might be much more immigration from Asia and Africa. The look on their faces is often a right treat.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 22-Jul-16 18:45:51

I voted the same way as 20 year old DS (leave) so no issue for us fortunately. He was more vehement than me about leaving. Ds2 was unsure so abstained.

In your shoes....I wouldnt discuss it with them if it's causing problems in your relationship.

No one asked for a vote (except ukip voters) It was an unprecedented situation, and everyone voted with their best intention given all the information available. They are still your beloved parents. If they were your beloved parents to start with.

SwedishEdith Fri 22-Jul-16 18:49:02

I'd hide them on FB. Or change your settings so they can't see political stuff. It's your FB so their comments will just wind you up. And avoid it in RL.

mrsvilliers Fri 22-Jul-16 19:26:30

I deleted Facebook from my phone in the immediate aftermath. Not for similar reasons but because I found all the doomsaying from the remain side too much to handle (I was remain too). Might be worth considering?

SalemsLott Fri 22-Jul-16 19:51:24

On BBC news this morning they reported that 12% of (their sample) people had fallen out with friends and family over differing votes in the referendum.
My DM voted out, and I remain, but we respect each others view points and I'm not going to let this fucking omnishambles ruin the relationship with my mum, whom I love dearly (despite us having polar opposite political views).

Chippednailvarnishing Fri 22-Jul-16 19:59:19

Edit who can see your FB posts by changing your security settings.

Or post really antagonistic posts to wind them up grin

Piscivorus Fri 22-Jul-16 20:02:32

Nobody knows what is going to happen so you can't complain that they have condemned you and your child to anything just as they can't claim they have achieved anything yet. I agree just don't talk about it

Amused that people are suggesting MPs are so qualified and proficient, that's not what is normally said about politicians! grin

rookiemere Fri 22-Jul-16 20:08:42

You could just respond with something like - well let's see where we are in 5 years time, and hopefully that will kill the conversation.

I'm studiously avoiding any political conversations with my DPs - DF has not been well and has always had slightly dodgy views anyway.

Besides I'd probably get disinherited if I let them know that the Brexit outcome has resulted in me a) joining the Lib Dem party and b) if Article 50 goes ahead then I'll apply for an Irish passport.

expatinscotland Fri 22-Jul-16 20:22:29

There's no arguing with stupid, so whenever you post something political on FB, restrict them from viewing it.

SalemsLott Fri 22-Jul-16 20:25:17

I'm going to apply for an Irish passport too rookiemere if/when A50 is invoked. I haven't told DM if my plans though.

rookiemere Fri 22-Jul-16 20:32:30

It's strange actually as the whole Brexit thing has made me question what I grew up with as fact as it was my parents views, and never really thought about until now.

So I come from NI and was brought up to be staunchly loyalist - now I'm wondering if that was indeed the right thing, also was led to believe that Maggie Thatcher was the best PM in living history.

It's kind of embarrassing to have a political awakening at the grand old age of 46.

GoblinLittleOwl Fri 22-Jul-16 20:33:23

Short of barring theme both from my FB, what can I do?
Allow them to have their own opinion. You don't have to agree.
It's called tolerance.

Lindy2 Fri 22-Jul-16 20:38:11

How would you feel if they decided to blank you because they were unhappy about the way you voted?
There will only be a divide between you if you allow it.

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