When do you think it will feel better?

(228 Posts)
FlopIsMyHero Wed 29-Jun-16 09:27:38

I know lots of you will want to say: "get over yourselves already", but please be kind (or say nothing!).

But for those of you for whom this is genuinely devastating, emotionally, morally, practically (if you or partner is non-British), or job-wise - when do you think it will start to feel better?

I'm waking every morning feeling as if, yes, the sky has fallen if, or as if I've experienced a personal bereavement.

BestIsWest Wed 29-Jun-16 09:31:03

I'm still furious and will be for a while yet.

lifeistooshort Wed 29-Jun-16 09:31:44

I don't know flops but you are not alone. DH and I feel the same as you do

MrsBlackthorn Wed 29-Jun-16 09:32:52

Honestly I don't know. The real life consequences are just starting to kick in. So it's going to be a long while.

Figmentofmyimagination Wed 29-Jun-16 09:33:09

Well purely from an economic point of view, it is being widely described in the city as Lehmans 2 - so many 2 or 3 years? But this is different, because Lehmans was mainly, in the end, an issue of market liquidity. This is about something much larger, beyond our control - with the potential to spiral out of control beyond the uk - and potentially 'permanent' in the sense that the post war settlement was permanent.

That's why the EU is so keen to get on with it - to contain the wider geopolitical risks.

Who hates being proved right?

lifeistooshort Wed 29-Jun-16 09:43:58

figmentofmyimagination that is my feeling too... and fear...I also cannot get past the disbelief of "how did we get here"

FlopIsMyHero Wed 29-Jun-16 09:44:01

Thanks, I think it does help to know tha others feel like this. (Feel like I'm going personally mad!)

Without outing myself even more than I probably already have, DH's job currently involves discussing this all day every day, so we're not getting any let up from it. sad

lifeistooshort Wed 29-Jun-16 09:46:43

flops not getting any real break from it either. Neither I or DH are british citizen (although have been here all of our working lives and having children here) and for us the future is so uncertain. We just cannot bury our heads in the sand, even for a few days as the change is so monumental sad

Shockingundercrackers Wed 29-Jun-16 09:58:33

Probably not for 10 years is my guess. Even if the Tories can find someone to pull the trigger (which they can't yet) there will be two years of negotiation before anything starts to become clear in terms of what kind of a deal we'll be offered. In that time there will be a serious crisis, at best a recession but could be a depression as businesses freeze pay and recruitment and citizens hold off on big purchases such as housing, construction, cars etc. That bit will be tense, and possibly nasty as the 52% realise that life for them, will get worse and not better as more austerity kicks in.
In addition, many migrants with the means to do so will simply leave. Doctors, builders, care workers, baristas, students and crucially, foriegn investment will also stop (The Russians, Middle Eastern businessmen and Chinese millionaires) whilst everyone tries to second guess what will happen next.

After that, anything could happen.

Personally, I'm just about to pull out of a purchasing a BTL. We are days from exchange and my buyer doesn't know yet. I'm devastated for him, but can't really see a way out of it.

The real-life effects of Brexit are yet to be felt.

CaptainBrickbeard Wed 29-Jun-16 10:06:11

I think it will feel better when there is more clarity about what is going to happen. Right now, I am very much hoping that we will stay in the EU. If Article 50 is invoked, I think it will feel much worse but after that there will be no choice but to come to terms with it. I think it is a terrible, reckless, foolish choice and I desperately hope we won't get there but if we do then hopefully there will be an actual plan and we will be able to see just how horrendous the fallout will be and we can adjust accordingly.

The anger and the outrage and sheer depth of feeling is stirring up a great deal of discussion and maybe a positive change can be effected. There is intense debate about our voting system, about the deep divisions between people and maybe all this discussion will lead to good changes and to resolutions somewhere down the line. We obviously have to address the fears and the myths surrounding immigration; the horror of overt racism becoming so prominent might lead us to ways of defeating it.

Basically, what I'm struggling to say is that maybe things will get so shit that they will then have to get better. And that's when we will feel better. But at the moment, things aren't at rock bottom because there is the glimmer of hope that this catastrophe won't come to pass. If it does, we can only assess the true extent of it when it happens - but at least when we know what damage is to be wrought then we can do whatever damage limitation is possible. This limbo is probably the most difficult but to get through. Let's hope Brexit can be prevented, if not then let's hope we can salvage some positive change from the ashes. But for now, it feels awful and will for the immediate future I think.

AgnetaTheViking Wed 29-Jun-16 10:30:55

Not for a long time and comments telling me to 'grow up' 'get a life' 'get over it' aren't helping.

My family's right to live where we live has been removed. Our right to healthcare has been removed. My children's right to education has been removed. All of our basic rights are now 'up for negotiation'. Our future won't even be decided by the country we live in, it'll be the big players in terms of British expats, countries I've never even been to.

Then there's the implosion of my extended family who all voted out and have dealt with their guilt by throwing anger at us and severing ties, including my mother.

Our life will never be the same again. I'm grieving.

lifeistooshort Wed 29-Jun-16 11:23:01

I am in the same position Agneta and do find the "get on with it" "move on" " you are being a drama queen" comments upsetting as for us too our right to leave where we are has been removed and we had no say at all in the matter. I have fell out with some friends as they just cannot accept that this has any impact on me and my family, it is like we are making it up. I can imagine it is the same for british expats: a lot of uncertainty and the calls to "just go back home" completely disregarding any reality the person is encountering or the life, friends etc they built.

I think it is okay to be grieving. I have not reached that stage yet. I am still in the shell shock/sick in the stomach/anxious stage.

wowfudge Wed 29-Jun-16 11:30:46

Me too. It's a nightmare there seems to be no waking up from.

FlopIsMyHero Wed 29-Jun-16 19:23:58

I've tried to stay away from the news today, to see if that made it any better.

But in Sainsburys I had a sudden 'what are we all doing, walking around buying bread and milk as if nothing's happened?' moment and felt tearful and panicky again.

Draylon Wed 29-Jun-16 19:29:44

To me it'll all feel better when that Airbus A380 is pulling up at the Arrivals apron at Kingsford Smith airport in Sydney.

I shall go an caress my dual citizenship passport again just to comfort myself....

Inyournightdress Wed 29-Jun-16 19:31:32

Maybe when people who voted leave stop making posts with the same boring rhetoric and we as a country actually make steps to produce something out of this pile of dog turd.

CrumbsThatsQuick Wed 29-Jun-16 19:32:25

denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance

I am still ANGRY, fucking furious. Where are you?

HeadDreamer Wed 29-Jun-16 19:33:03

I don't think anytime soon given the bad news.

redhat Wed 29-Jun-16 19:38:14

I think we have a long way to go before it will feel better. We've been personally hit today with the immediate loss of two months of work for DH as a direct result of Brexit. We knew it would be coming but it's quite scary to see it hitting so quickly.

crossroads3 Wed 29-Jun-16 19:38:43

Never. I hope Brexit doesn't happens.

crossroads3 Wed 29-Jun-16 19:39:12

Happen

BertieBotts Wed 29-Jun-16 19:48:58

I'm feeling the same. It's exhausting. I'm not operating at capacity at all.

drspouse Wed 29-Jun-16 20:21:22

Never. It will only feel better if we don't leave OR if we find out we get the EXACT SAME access to all privileges of being in the EU including all the grants that both my region and my sector already get AND only then if someone goes back in time and educates all the racists who think there is any benefit at all in immigrants leaving and IMMEDIATELY removes from the streets anyone caught even THINKING about abusing anyone born abroad, brown, or both.
One of my under-5 DCs is both. I am just limping through and putting my fingers in my ears at the moment.

HeadDreamer Wed 29-Jun-16 20:24:41

drspouse the problem is if we don't leave the single market, we need to give freedom of movement. That would mean a huge surge of support for UKIP in the UK elections. I honestly see that as a much worse outcome.

Have you seen this? It's making me feel sick.
www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/jun/29/leave-donor-plans-new-party-to-replace-ukip-without-farage

drspouse Wed 29-Jun-16 20:31:01

That's why it's not going to feel better unless someone reeducates people who think it's OK to think anyone's going to leave.
I will not feel better as long as I have to share a country with people like that.

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