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Anyone else completely changed their opinion of friends/family over how they vote?

(71 Posts)
Surferjet Thu 23-Jun-16 14:18:09

I've got a few 'remain' close( ish ) family members who I never want to see again such is my strength of feeling over this.
It's our version of the miners strike & they'll always be traitors to me.

SimplyNigella Thu 23-Jun-16 14:19:46

I've not had my view changed by how people are voting but their reasons why have been a (nasty) surprise from a few people.

Pangurban1 Thu 23-Jun-16 14:22:21

Oh dear. I take it you are not a big fan of people being allowed to vote how they choose then.

Those darn Greeks and democracy (representative version). Another reason to vote Leave, I presume.

Palehorse Thu 23-Jun-16 14:24:05

funny, i'm the opposite. Several close(ish) people have posted such racist uninformed bollocks that it'll be hard to see them in the same light again. i've talked to a number of people who've had the same experience. It really has split families.

Surferjet Thu 23-Jun-16 14:24:57

It's totally split my family.

justkeeponsmiling Thu 23-Jun-16 14:37:43

Yes. I have stopped talking about it to people completely as I was absolutely horrified at the racist attitudes I have encountered from my a few of my colleagues and acquaintances who I thought to be very open minded. I wouldn't mind a discussion with people in the "leave" camp if their attitude was something like "I feel it would mean I could finally afford to buy our first house" or something - I like a good debate and find it interesting! But unfortunately NOBODY has said anything like that to me personally. Instead they say "I want us to leave because we need to stop all these immigrants coming over here". Which is a joke as my colleagues and I work in a hospital and without migrant Doctors and nurses the place would be on it's knees right now!
It has shocked me beyond belief.

TragicallyUnbeyachted Thu 23-Jun-16 14:55:20

Not over how they vote, but some of the right-wing sensationalist racist "Sharia law is coming to the UK, woooooooah" crap that some extended family members have posted or Liked on Facebook in the lead-up to the vote has been a real eye-opener.

I have friends who have voted Leave for their own (I believe misguided, but then I'm sure they think the same of mine) reasons, and that's fair enough.

So far the only people I've heard bandying the word "traitors" around in relation to anyone's democratically-voiced, genuinely-held political opinion have been Thomas Mair and Jayda Franzen. And now you, I suppose.

letsstaytogether Thu 23-Jun-16 15:35:45

Traitors? That's a bit harsh isn't it?

letsstaytogether Thu 23-Jun-16 15:37:57

Is your argument to leave related to immigration then, OP? And these traitors want to 'keep letting in the immigrants who are stealing our jobs/houses/boyfriends?'

Notbigandnotclever Thu 23-Jun-16 15:40:28

Some people I thought intelligent and well informed have spouted some utter shite. My family who are vocal are all remain.

SugarMiceInTheRain Thu 23-Jun-16 15:41:23

I've certainly dodged conversations with my mum and her DP due to their evangelical wish to leave. Now, I am a Eurosceptic on the whole and hate Cameron with a passion, but my mum and her DP have fallen for all the utterly untrue stuff being spouted by the leave campaign and it amazes me as they're both intelligent people and normally believe in keeping themselves to themselves regarding politics. I am so relieved that this will all be over before they come up to see us next weekend.

Palehorse Thu 23-Jun-16 15:43:26

some in my family have not surprised me with their views, but others i previously thought were sensible have really surprised me with their willingness to believe in racist drivel

OddBoots Thu 23-Jun-16 15:47:05

I can see why this is something of a strong personal choice but it is not a reason to think others as traitors or to break apart families. There are good arguments on both sides, you may not agree with those arguments but they still exist.

whattheseithakasmean Thu 23-Jun-16 15:49:34

I've survived the Scottish referendum, so I know not to let politics ruin personal relationships. I was damned if I was going let that smug oily shit Salmond spoil my feelings for the people around me. Just let it go when people start spouting and move on.

I wouldn't say changed my opinion; the folks who believe everything they read in the Mail are Leave, unsurprisingly, as is the bloke on my FB who likes a worrying amount of stuff about feminazis. My low opinion of them remains the same.

OTOH, an ex-colleague of mine posted a very measured and reasoned speech in favour of his Leave vote today; my high opinion of him remains unchanged.

branofthemist Thu 23-Jun-16 15:59:02

I think both leave and remain are perfectly valid stand points.

How people express it may change how I felt about them. But not the choice itself.

hubris Thu 23-Jun-16 16:01:25

Yes OP, I have become extremely angry with some people around me who cannot think anything of a Leave voter other than they are thick and racist. Their own class-based prejudice against British low-skilled and low-paid workers is shocking, but they don't see it.

SolomanDaisy Thu 23-Jun-16 16:02:29

I'm quite shocked by the racist leave shite that has been uncritically posted by some of my extended family, who are good kind people normally. It's a struggle not to judge them as racist, but they are family.

RedYellow046 Thu 23-Jun-16 16:03:50

Absolutely not. If any of them had come out as closet racists or something, perhaps. But everyone is voting for what they believe is right - is that such a bad thing?

Having said that, I'm still undecided so maybe it's just a matter of not feeling strongly enough either way to allow other people's opinions to bother me. Though, do you decide to cut people out of your life if they disagree with you on other things? Seems kinda over the top to me, IMO.

SolomanDaisy Thu 23-Jun-16 16:05:49

And I agree it is the reasons for their decision that bother me. I am passionately for remain, but I have seen a few people post considered arguments against, which I disagree with but aren't just racist shite. That's not an issue.

Dapplegrey2 Thu 23-Jun-16 16:05:58

My friends and family are about equally divided between leave and remain, but we respect each others' opinions and my view of those who've voted differently to me hasn't changed one iota.
Last Sunday at a friend's party there were a couple of people doing their best to persuade someone of a different opinion to agree with them, and this 'persuasion' at one point became a bit strident and aggressive (imho) but that's all I've seen.

JamieVardysParty Thu 23-Jun-16 16:08:16

I have started seeing a number of acquaintances in a totally different way.

Certain comments on social media, saying that if you vote a certain way you are:
an ignorant twat
a selfish twat
a complete and utter cunt
racist AND fascist
completely and utterly stupid.

And quite a number of people saying that if you vote the opposite to them, to go ahead and delete them on social media.

Been ignoring so far and will continue to. Not worth getting into a debate over as people just shout you down.

Most people vote with self-interest - however so many people dress up their self-interest as them being so virtuous, honourable and caring, yet completely vilify those who go against them.

Topseyt Thu 23-Jun-16 16:14:23

It has made me realise just how this sort of thing can divide families.

I am remain, DD1 is remain, DH is leave. DH has virtually turned into a fan of Nigel Farage, and seems to swallow unquestioningly much of the crap that Farage spouts.

DH tried to tell DD1 (who is 21) that he was voting leave because he felt it was best for HER future, and that he as her Dad knows best. She told him that was bollocks and to do one, and I don't blame her. It was paternalistic and patronising at best.

I am the most impressed with my Mum. Until recently she would very likely have been swayed towards the leave side. Now in her 80s, she said she is voting remain because her grandchildren and most young people she knows want to remain, and that it will affect their future much more than hers. Obviously I find it a sad statement because she is acknowledging her age and that she won't be around forever more, but it is also a generous one.

My Dad rarely reveals how he votes before the event. My feeling is that he will vote leave, as he has always been anti-EU, and he tends to hark back to what he perceives was some sort of "golden era", regardless of whether or not it actually ever existed.

Grumpyoldblonde Thu 23-Jun-16 16:21:20

No, I know my friends and family well enough to know that however they vote it will be a choice they have made after a good deal of thought. I have seen no racist posts on facebook . We have spoken about the referendum but luckily, without the vitriol I have seen spoken of on here. I will be glad when this is all over, just voted and feeling a bit nervous tbh.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Thu 23-Jun-16 16:22:45

branofthemist perfect post, I agree.

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