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Dirty Looks on public transport

(86 Posts)
thirdeyemagic Tue 26-Sep-17 21:44:31

I travel a lot and tend to use a baby carrier with my little 9 month year old daughter.
It's so fun exploring with her (I am 22 and haven't slowed down with the travelling).

The only issue is that my child tends to chat a lot and sing on trains/buses.
That's not the issue. She looks so happy.
The issue is the immature fellow passengers that turn around and blatantly give us dirty looks.

She never cries or sleeps. Really energetic so I can't exactly cover her mouth and restrain her??

I almost started a fight with one man that kept turning around today.

What do other mums do?

I understand children after a certain age should be taught manners. But still I hate societies attitude.

Babies are human beings too. With wants and desires. She's not going to sit there like a doll.
People act like my child is some annoying parasite. I hate it.

Not sure how to handle this.

Katescurios Tue 26-Sep-17 21:48:09

Just look back, smile at them and go about your day. Don't let the miserable bastards get you angry or upset you.

BertrandRussell Tue 26-Sep-17 21:49:54

"The issue is the immature fellow passengers that turn around and blatantly give us dirty looks"

I bet they don't really. And if they do, just ignore then.

HeyRoly Tue 26-Sep-17 21:51:52

Chatting and singing at nine months?

Unless you mean shrieking and babbling which is totally normal at that age. And kind of cute. I'm surprised so many people object to that. How incredible.

MOIST Tue 26-Sep-17 21:52:10

They really don't. And they really dont give 2 hoots about you.

Unless you are doing the talking loudly and wanting people to notice you thing. Thatis bloody annoying. So don't.

JesusTapdancingChrist Tue 26-Sep-17 21:53:58

I'd bet on 1 of these 2 scenarios:

1. You're overthinking it and people aren't giving you evils.


2. You're one of those irritating parents who talks to their child really loudly when there's no reason to (performance parenting I think it's called).

Waytoogo Tue 26-Sep-17 21:55:35

The only issue is that my child tends to chat a lot and sing on trains/buses

I'm guessing at 9 months she's just making noises. To a devoted mother it may be chatting and singing, to strangers it might be screeching.

No-one expects a baby to be silent, but a noisy baby in a confined public space is not fun for other passengers.

I suggest you try to distract/gently shhh if she's being loud - the evils will stop if other passengers feel you're doing your best to be considerate.

GerdaLovesLili Tue 26-Sep-17 21:58:39

Very weird. I'm sure you're imagining it.

Raizel Tue 26-Sep-17 22:00:07

The problem is what you find cute and amazing can be incredibly annoying to people who have had a long journey. I do think it's rude to keep staring at you but I do think that although no you shouldn't keep your child's mouth shut could you be more considerate to other passengers on the transport your on?

An example the other day me and my partner were on a bus going into town. The journey takes roughly 30mins from the moment we got on to the moment of getting off we were treated to a constant rendition of the wheels on the bus go round and round at full volume to the point where even after we moved it was that loud we couldn't even talk to each other.

So yes please entertain your children but please remember other people are travelling as well.

Bombardier25966 Tue 26-Sep-17 22:00:47

If she's as angelic as you suggest, no one should be giving you dirty looks.

If her singing and chatting is random shrill noises then it is going to annoy people. Try to find ways to distract your child and be more considerate of others,

thirdeyemagic Tue 26-Sep-17 22:10:45

Katescurious yes that's true! I guess people are probably tired and already in bad moods.
It just touches me when they direct irritated looks at a baby.

Even if a baby was crying we should have sympathy.

AVirtuousLife Tue 26-Sep-17 22:12:00

"My little 9 month year old daughter"

Is she a year or 9 months?

And she chats and sings?

Is she Mozart re-incarnated?

I expect it's not her that's getting "dirty looks"... I'm willing to bet you are a Performance Parent who loudly interacts whilst you, yourself are looking around to see if anyone is noticing how marvellous you and your prodigy child are.

AVirtuousLife Tue 26-Sep-17 22:15:43

And I'm willing to bet you engage nicely with posters who sympathise.

Other posters will be treated to something rather different.

VeryCunningStunt Tue 26-Sep-17 22:27:02

People act like my child is some annoying parasite

That's quite an extrapolation, isn't it?

Dippingmytoesin Tue 26-Sep-17 22:28:42


thirdeyemagic Tue 26-Sep-17 22:31:56

Haha i smiled at this comment.
I thought a mums forum would understand the term "chatting and singing" when talking about a 9 month old baby.

I like peaceful journeys actually. My daughter has a mind of her own.
I distract her with anything I can find. But she'll "chat" about it rather loudly. I even resorted to Peppa pig on my phone!

I like to be considerate that's why I notice people's reactions.
I notice an old lady smiling at her the same way I notice a 28 year old male give her a dirty look.

I am protective over my friends baby the same way but she's a calm Zen baby that sleeps all the time!

It's not immagination or whatever performance parenting means.

I am not sure how this turned into a personal thing.
I was asking advice on how to handle things.

thirdeyemagic Tue 26-Sep-17 22:34:50

Of course that's just an emotive exaggeration. But it's how I feel when someone gives her a dirty look.
I don't want to argue with strangers on a bus.

I just posted to see if anyone shared my experience.

AnyFucker Tue 26-Sep-17 22:36:26

Do women instantly hate you because you are so beautiful ?

Dippingmytoesin Tue 26-Sep-17 22:36:50

There's nothing to handle.
No advice to be given

thirdeyemagic Tue 26-Sep-17 22:37:33

Yes thank you @waytoogo

ChardonnaysPrettySister Tue 26-Sep-17 22:38:29

Is it generally women who do that?

MiddleClassProblem Tue 26-Sep-17 22:39:37

To me it sound like just people with "resting bitch face"

mumsiedarlingrevolta Tue 26-Sep-17 22:40:05

haha anyfucker do you think it's Samantha Brick's baby??

Applesandpears23 Tue 26-Sep-17 22:42:12

I found at that age whispering in their ears could often keep them quiet for a bit as they listened to me. You could try doing that to give people a break from her excited noises.

LaughingElliot Tue 26-Sep-17 22:44:26

Gosh I had people fawning over my baby. Must be something about you attracting all this negativity 🤔

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