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I really like a guy who has children. Please help!

(6 Posts)
annasnow Thu 19-Jan-17 04:31:16

Hello lovely ppl...! X
I have come back from living abroad and an abusive relationship, but I have escaped and have been back for three months. Just before I got back and for the first month I was talking to/seeing this wonderful man.! He and his ex have beautiful girls. They are so lovely I have never met them but love the fact he was so good with them. So cute!
I never got in the way but I think I was too easy as in, gave out on the first date. We also got drunk one night and I mentioned in a drunken stuper that I am scared of having children and didn't know if I wanted them. Then he went cold.

I really don't know what to do as I have been on some lousy dates since he ghosted me after that night. I knew I blew it...

I would like to know your Mumma thoughts on how a single girl approaches a great bloke gently and what is the best angle so not to offend the wonderful life giving woman he once loved?

Completely blew it this time (unless any ideas) by being scared and putting out too quickly. Respect his family unit so much and his responsibility. Was I too understanding? I dunno, I don't want to rule off men with children. There are so many out there. I am 28 and it seems everyone already has the t shirt.

Thanks for any feedback X
Love you all and your loved ones X

beingorange Thu 19-Jan-17 04:36:44

I'd just go for someone without children. With the best will in the world it is more complicated with someone who does.

BitOutOfPractice Thu 19-Jan-17 05:48:38

I don't think the fact that he had kids is relevant tbh. He just wasn't that into you and ghosted you. Very common in online dating I'm afraid. And it doesn't matter if you "have out" (ugh! Horrible term!) on the first date or not. If someone likes someone enough that doesn't matter.

Btw I'm not sure if you're using the term "cute" in the American sense (i.e. You found it attractive) but "cute" sounds like a really childish way to describe a fathers relationship with his kids. Of course I would expect any parent to be good with their kids. That's not cute it's just life. These aren't kittens. They're humans.

You found much much younger than you are. Are you really ready for a relationship so soon?

I'm afraid yuh won't get many "mumma thoughts" (again ugh!) in this category. Might be worth getting this moved to relationships

BitOutOfPractice Thu 19-Jan-17 05:49:06

*give out

pinkyredrose Wed 22-Feb-17 15:16:01

He 'gave out' too didn't he? Plus how do you know how lovely his girls were and how good he was with them if you never met them?

Just try and chill out a but, you sound too hung up on the Idea of a partners kids.

AuntieStella Wed 22-Feb-17 15:20:02

You only have his word for what he's like with his DC.

You have only known him for a few weeks.

It's not even a relationship at that point, just a bunch of dates. You thought it was promising, he didn't. That's just his it goes sometimes.

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