My brother in law taking new girlfriend to family funeral.

(28 Posts)
hugz Sat 04-Jun-16 06:04:58

Hi my brother in law wants to take his girlfriend of 5 months to a family funeral. It's there great aunt. She has never met the deceased or any members of the family. Also she is loud and embarrassing. Every time my mother in law and myself hear her talk we cringe. Simply we don't want her there. Many thanks for any advice.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 04-Jun-16 06:07:27

I think if he needs the support of his girlfriend, he should take her.

Sorry for your loss OP.

MrsCampbellBlack Sat 04-Jun-16 06:12:42

Well I don't see how you can stop him but it isn't really the place to introduce a new girlfriend.

Was he very close to your great aunt?

greengreenten Sat 04-Jun-16 06:13:07

Sounds like you just don't like her.

ExitPursuedByBear Sat 04-Jun-16 06:15:41

I bet she is really looking forward to it.

hesterton Sat 04-Jun-16 06:16:42

Actually it sounds like you're ganging up on her with mil.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Sat 04-Jun-16 06:20:09

Prehaps he wants some support

LuckySantangelo1 Sat 04-Jun-16 06:20:47

You can't dictate who attends a funeral I'm afraid.

BeauGlacons Sat 04-Jun-16 06:22:18

Regardless of the occasion she'll be loud and embarrassing. Your bil needs her support and has chosen to make her a part of his life. She can't be loud and embarrassing during the actual service.

Have the family made an announcement that the funeral is "private" family only? In which case I guess your bil could still invite his partner.

I am sorry for your loss but I think funerals are sad and stressful enough without introducing a family row. Hope the day is ok.

branofthemist Sat 04-Jun-16 06:43:15

You can't do anything. I have been to funerals of people I don't know. To support the person grieving.

I went to a good friends dads funeral to be there for her. Not because I wanted to say good bye to her dad.

Quite frankly, you say 'we don't want her there'. It's got nothing to do with you, who this man takes to his own great aunts funeral.

Please be careful regarding your and mils behaviour towards her. Seems like you two are ganging up on her.

Me and my sil don't get on, she is awful and hates me for having kids first and lots of petty stuff. I remain civil and ignore her nasty comments. However it's caused a huge divide in the family.

BitOutOfPractice Sat 04-Jun-16 06:48:58

What "advice" do you want? He can take who the hell he likes to a funeral whether you like her or not. You sound really lovely - not confused

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings Sat 04-Jun-16 06:50:50

After only 5 months she's going to support her boyfriend at a funeral surrounded by his family who dislike her? She sounds lovely to put aside the fact that she's not liked to provide that support to someone she's not known very long.

msrisotto Sat 04-Jun-16 06:59:16

Why do you think you have any right to dictate who he can bring to any funeral? Sorry you don't like her but he does and you need to get the fuck over it.

2gorgeousboys Sat 04-Jun-16 07:32:00

My 20 year old DSS brought his girlfriend of 6 months to DFiL's (his Grandfather's) funeral. We had met her before but the rest of the family hadn't. A couple of people were surprised that we allowed it. She was a great support to DSS and we were really glad she was there for him. It was also a chance for the wider family to meet and get to know her.

I think that if your BIL wants his girlfriend there then you should all accept that. Even if everyone had met her, you would still find her loud and annoying by the sounds of it so I think thats a non argument.

You may find, as we did, that it's an opportunity for everyone to get to know her!

Scoopmuckdizzy Sat 04-Jun-16 07:55:28

I don't think it's your decision to make.

StylishDuck Sat 04-Jun-16 07:57:07

When I had been going out with my now DH for about 5 months I went with him to his friend's funeral. I'd never met her but I went to support him. That's what you do when you're in a relationship with someone.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Sat 04-Jun-16 08:03:02

It's not about her not knowing everyone, she's going to support her boyfriend!

You and your MIL sound really nasty, you barely know her but you e already decided you don't like her so mock her together. Vile.

elvis86 Sat 31-Dec-16 18:44:02

Bloody hell - I didn't realise that guest lists for funerals were a "thing" now!?

Unless the gf murdered the deceased or has done something equally terrible, you and your MIL simply not liking her gives you zero right to direct that she be banned from the funeral.

I hope she attends and gets trollied at the wake..grin

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Sat 31-Dec-16 18:47:49

You sound nice.

P1nkP0ppy Sat 31-Dec-16 18:55:58

Poor girl, she hasn't got a cat's chance in hell has she?
You sound singularly snobbish and bitchy op.

WeAllHaveWings Sat 31-Dec-16 19:22:21

I've been to many a funeral of someone I have never met. Usually a work colleagues parent, spouse or child or a friends relative. It is completely acceptable and normal to go to show respect and support someone you know is grieving.

Secondly, not wanting her there because she is embarrassing?? are you being serious? You really need to get over yourself.

DameFanny Sat 31-Dec-16 19:23:30

This is an old thread. But I'm glad it came up as I've been reminded to go and rewatch "Mum" grin

tribpot Sat 31-Dec-16 19:25:47

Zombie thread.

AnyFucker Sat 31-Dec-16 19:27:43

I don't think a funeral is the place to gang up on some poor woman and make her feel like shit

Just go and pay your respects as you normally would

AnyFucker Sat 31-Dec-16 19:28:15

Zombie ? Oh, bugger.

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