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Paying for evening meal

(14 Posts)
Buffy81 Mon 14-Mar-16 20:41:46

We have just received our invites for my hubbies step brother wedding. At the bottom, they have said, no wedding gifts, but bring money for bar and evening meal. Has anybody else been invited to a wedding where you have to pay for your evening meal? What are your views on it??

I have never been to a wedding where we have had to pay for our evening meal. The wedding day its self is going to be a long day as it starts at 10:30 and hubby has been asked to be an usher (so will have to be there even earlier), a lunch buffet at around 1pm. Due to this, we are having to stay in a hotel for 2 nights (as we also have an 18 month old so the day is gonna be long enough with out us having to leave home early). We have to travel around 150 miles to get there, which will take roughly 2 1/2 travelling time (according to google maps) as will be leaving mid afternoon the day before hence the hotel for 2 nights and a tank of fuel, so far looking at 140.00 spent

BackforGood Mon 14-Mar-16 23:03:37

I would expect to pay for the bar.
I've never been asked to pay for a meal.

That said, if the wedding is at 10.30 am, are you sure that it's going on into the evening, and they've just not explained very well, that, if anyone chooses to stay on in the hotel, that's not part of the wedding they are hosting, so you will need to provide for yourself?
So, in fact, you could set off for home at about 3-3.30 if you prefer?

Buffy81 Tue 15-Mar-16 06:27:28

Hi. We are staying in a Travelodge. They are getting married in a church and then going back to their local community centre for the reception. Defo going on into the evening

Ilovenannyplum Tue 15-Mar-16 06:34:01

That's a bit weird, I would be a bit hmm if a wedding invitation requested that

Bunbaker Tue 15-Mar-16 06:40:02

When my cousin got married all the guests were asked to bring a plate if food. He paid for all the drnks, and the reception was in my auntie's garden. It was the best wedding I have ever been to.

BackforGood Tue 15-Mar-16 22:56:46

That's going to be a heck of a long day - for anyone!
I think I'd take advantage of the fact I had a toddler and use her as the reason that we had to leave after the lunchtime Reception. I'd have though most guests would be flagging long before the evening if the ceremony is at 10.30am (and of course people have had to get there from wherever they are starting the day)

Buffy81 Wed 16-Mar-16 21:02:26

I would do that back for good, but its a family wedding (hubbys step brother) so his dad and grandparents have not seen LB for prob a yr by time the date of the wedding comes along. There is something about that side of the family that i cant put my finger on as up until end of oct last yr, we only lived about hr away from them an barely saw them

ThroughThickAndThin01 Wed 16-Mar-16 21:05:21

I've never been to a wedding where I've paid dor my evenjng meal,. But why does it matter confused.

Presumably they've said 'no presents' to make up for that.

Good for them.

Buffy81 Sat 19-Mar-16 16:13:48

Am sure it does in their eyes make up for the fact that they have asked for no gifts, but to give no price guide or what it will be??

I will be sending them a message for more info, as, as well as having a rough idea, I will have, by time date of wedding, a 20 month old to take into consideration.

I have never been to a wedding where you have to pay for your evening meal, so not even sure it was a new thing that couples have decided to do now

caroldecker Sat 19-Mar-16 16:33:29

Go on the basis of the invite, send only your DH or don't go.

GeorgeTheThird Sat 19-Mar-16 16:36:10

If the reception is at a community centre, what evening meal are you paying for? Surely there won't be payment facilities - do they mean pay them??

Buffy81 Sat 19-Mar-16 17:09:41

I cant do that carol as its a family wedding and we haven't seen them since middle of last yr and they would want to see LB

caroldecker Sat 19-Mar-16 19:18:43

well you have made your choice, so go and pay for the dinner.

BackforGood Sat 19-Mar-16 20:13:47

But they will see him - at the wedding, at the lunchtime / afternoon Reception. Nobody can expect a 20month old to be 'on show' for a whole day and evening.
By making the day such a long one, I suspect they will lose a lot of their gusts as the afternoon draws on. People of all ages get tired for all sorts of reasons.

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