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Wedding present - smaller gift if you're an evening guest?

(7 Posts)
ThePartyArtist Sat 16-Jan-16 23:00:25

I'm invited to a friend's wedding as an evening guest. They are having a fairly small daytime do with the actual ceremony, and we're invited to the evening (disco and buffet 7pm - 1am). What is the etiquette re: presents; give as big a present as we would if we were going to the full do, or give a smaller present as we're evening guests?

FeelingSmurfy Sat 16-Jan-16 23:07:11

I don't go in for any of that, I decide what I want to spend on that couple when they get married and that's what I spend whether they run away to gretna green or have a huge lavish party that I am invited to.

You said its only a small daytime thing, so it not like they don't want you there or you are low down their list of friends, the majority of people aren't invited to that part

FeelingSmurfy Sat 16-Jan-16 23:10:42

Couple A
Your best friends
Hire a local hall and do a BYOB party with a buffet

Couple B
Someone you work with
Huge lavish party in a posh hotel
Invited to the whole day

Would you really spend more on couple b, who you only know through work and would usually socialise with, rather than your best friends

*I am not having a go by the way, or saying you would do this, just showing a different way of looking at it*

Akire Sat 16-Jan-16 23:13:57

To me a gift is a gift I would spend the same. I woulnt work out the cost of my dinner and hotel hire is X so I must give a certain amount.

Given I could probably pull an evening wear party outfit together without buying a new outfit as opposed to a day event I could afford spend more!

FadedRed Sat 16-Jan-16 23:20:38

Same here, don't agree that you 'pay for your place'. Even if I couldn't attend due to previous plans etc, I'd still send a present or cash equivalent. However, reading other threads on this subjects, it would appear that there are many different opinions on this.

BackforGood Sat 16-Jan-16 23:24:01

I wouldn't either.

I would give, depending on how close I was to the couple, what my finances were like at the time, how long I'd known them, etc,.,etc.

There is the fact that I would be likely to spend more on a lifelong friend, than a colleague who'd invited all their team to the evening party, so it might appear I was spending less as an evening guest, but it wouldn't be because I was an evening guest, IYSWIM.

Notthisnotthat Sun 24-Jan-16 19:16:04

I do it based on closeness to the couple too, so a close friend gets more than a colleague, and it doesn't matter if I'm invited all day or just to the dance at night.

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