Proposing... Help!(6 Posts)
So, I'll come clean straight away. I'm a man, and I need help on how to propose to my girlfriend.
Firstly, I love her. Unconditionally. We talk about everything, and have talked about marriage / kids / houses, all the kinda serious grown-up stuff. We've shared some amazing times, and also some really, really shitty times too. But... we're still together, and stronger than ever before. I need her in my life, and she needs me too.
But... proposing is something thats alien. I asked her what kind of rings she likes, and managed to find one in the 'States. I bought it (ouch - pricey things these engagement rings are!), had it shipped over, and now I've got it. She's not seen it yet.
I know I need to ask her mum and dad first. She'll love the fact I've took time out to see them, and asked for their daughters hand in marriage.
I know what I want to do to actually propose too. There's a beautiful country park close to where I live. I want to take her for a walk, ontop of the hill that's in the middle. Then, I want to ask her. I also know I want to employ a photographer to take some photos of us as I propose (obviously as a secret to be pointed out after she's got the ring and said yes!).
But how on earth do I give her the ring itself? I've scoured the internet, and failed to get an answer. Do I present it in the box, and then take it out and place it on her finger? Do I get down on one knee, tell her some lovely stuff about how she's my world, and I want us to grow old together and then pull it out of my pocket?
Please, any advice is appreciated. We've both had a rough year, and neither of us have been angels, but this HAS to be right. I want it to be perfect for us - I'm only doing it once!
Why are you going to be photographed while you propose? Have you thought how that will pan out if she refuses? You will have a Daily Mail sad face!
Bear in mind although it's a lovely moment, it's just one moment in your lives. You say you haven't been an angel - this proposal will be forgotten quicker than you can blink if you mess her around afterwards.
It depends on what type of women she is?
I am not in the least bit showy and get very uncomfortable with big declarations of love or compliments and tbh I'd have laughed at my partner if he'd have done that whole thing down on one knee because that's really not us and certainly not sure I'd have wanted it in public.
Instead he just handed me the box in amongst my Christmas gifts and said "so, is that a good enough present?"
Do whatever, wherever makes you both comfortable.
OK, so I'll explain. We've both been a bit shitty, but as I said, we've talked it out. I know when she kisses me, and looks at me, that she loves me as deeply as I do. If it's an act, then she's a psychopath with no emotions or feeling, and a very accomplished liar.
She has said she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, so when I propose, I'm 100% certain she'll say yes. And no, we won't be messing each other about. It's been a complicated situation, but everything that was bad before has been ironed out now.
We've talked about weddings, and she's told me she knows what she wants, since she was a lot younger. She's thought about it, and while she doesn't want to be the centre of attention (and neither do I!), I feel it has to be something special.
As for not being the centre of attention while I actually propose - I do think she'll appreciate some photographs to remember it. And I don't mean a paparazzi-style offensive assault. Something like a fair distance away pretending to be taking wildlife photos or something, but is actually taking discreet photos of us. I dunno yet, I guess.
If that's what suits you both, (it sounds lovely if it does) then go for it
If you want to be out and about, is there anywhere that's special to you both?
Weather permitting you could take a (low key so as not to give it away obviously) picnic and have the ring somewhere in amongst it, although I wouldn't put it in food for pretty obvious reasons! Maybe looped onto a ribbon tied around a bottle of champagne or loop it onto a new necklace so that the box doesn't give it away?
If she doesn't want to be centre of attention, don't get a photographer, this would probably make her feel really awkward!
Open the box to show her when you ask. If she says yes, put the ring onto her finger.
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