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How do you address an envelope when the family don't share a surname.

(21 Posts)
estya Thu 18-Dec-14 07:33:59

When all the family have the same surname I'd address the envelope 'The Smiths' or 'The Jones family'.
But what should I write when the adults have different surnames and I can't remember whether the kids took his name, her name or double barrelled.
I don't like using Mr and Mrs/Ms and I think 'Sandra Smith and John Jones and family' is too wordy. And I don't think its my place to double barrel them if they haven't decided to go that way, so 'The Smith/Jones family' is out.

KateBeckett Thu 18-Dec-14 07:35:53

How about initial.surname initial.surname and family?

BikeRunSki Thu 18-Dec-14 07:36:10

Is it a Christmas card?

Address the envelope to the parent you know best, the all the first names in the card.

KateBeckett Thu 18-Dec-14 07:37:28

Also, I think Smith/jones is fine, as that isn't actually double barrelling. Smith-jones would be a bit off, but as someone in that position, smith/jones wouldn't bother me at all smile

Llareggub Thu 18-Dec-14 07:39:34

I don't send any but I've had some through the post with our first names only and then the address.

YonicSleighdriver Thu 18-Dec-14 07:41:19

I do to the Smith/Jones family where mum is smith, dad is jones and DC are smith-jones.

YonicSleighdriver Thu 18-Dec-14 07:42:05

Or I address to john smith and Jane jones and put the kids' names inside.

Bonsoir Thu 18-Dec-14 07:42:32

There are three surnames in our family.

I can accept "The [DP's surname] family". Or Mr [DP's first name] [DP's surname] and Ms [my first name] [my surname]. Or "The [DP's surname]-[my surname] family]". Anything else is wrong.

TooMuchRain Thu 18-Dec-14 07:42:41

I would also address it to the parent I know best and have all the names inside.

KittieCat Thu 18-Dec-14 07:50:52

I have similar and just write 'All At' then the address as usual.

estya Thu 18-Dec-14 07:51:16

I've been putting first names only, then the address but it doesn't feel right.
I'm glad that Smith/Jones family isn't frowned on - that's what I did last year. I think I'll go back to that.
Thanks all.

Bonsoir - you are happy with people referring to your family as The [DP's surname] family? That would drive me mad. If anything i think the family is my domain - bit of a matriarch here.
Most of them we know both parents well, ie I although he is a uni friend, I've been on girls' weekends away with his wife, so I don't think i can address the envelope only to him.

Anyway, thanks all.

throckenholt Thu 18-Dec-14 07:53:24

sometimes I just go with Sally, Bob and Nelly.

No surname - they live in the house - as long as the postman gets it to the right house, then the people who open it will know who it was aimed at.

I can't be bothered with the etiquette - I am more concerned with what works for me. smile

KittieCat Thu 18-Dec-14 07:56:15

Deffo go with first names or as above 'All at'. I kept my name and people addressing cards to me as DH's name drives me potty.

YvesJutteau Thu 18-Dec-14 07:57:25

We get (and send) The Smith/Jones Family; it's not the same as double-barrelling (The Smith-Jones Family would seem odd because none of us is Smith-Jones).

Lweji Thu 18-Dec-14 07:58:28

To one or both parents, or main adults.

NetworkGuy Thu 18-Dec-14 07:59:49

If it's a social 'card' type item, I've sometimes put "All the Family" or "All at 23" when I don't know the intricacies of spelling different members' names (especially if I have no idea of any surname(s) - eg neighbours I know as Luigi and Chloe, etc). Most of them have never put their surnames on cards either, so we live in happy semi-anonymity smile

With the right house number and a postcode it will always get to them, and I've never had any complaints.

jinglebellsy00 Thu 18-Dec-14 08:01:27

I go with first names or John, Rose and family if there are more than two children, it takes up less room on the envelope.

If I only know one member of the family then I put their name on the envelope and all of the names inside.

AuntyDiluvian Thu 18-Dec-14 08:05:09

3 surnames in this house, and I haven't seen 'Smith / Jones' before but would be v happy to receive it. When addressing to other people I generally put 'Smith & Jones' or sometimes 'Jones & Co' if I don't know all the surnames and hope that me being in the same boat let's me get away with being a bit jokey about it. Might adopt Smith /Jones in future.

5madthings Thu 18-Dec-14 08:11:42

In our house I have my name, dp has his And the madthings are double barreled.

Post addressed to miss myname & mrdpsname and family or to the madthings family is fine. People tend to put myname-hisname family. This is fine.

LittleBlueHermit Thu 18-Dec-14 08:21:09

I'd be happy with either 'the Smith/Jones family' or 'the smith-jones family' (DH and I kept our names, DD is hyphenated.) I've addressed cards to my brother's family as Smith-Jones even though, like us, only my niece has both names. I have no idea whether it bothers them though - I'll have to ask.

If you're really worried about causing offence, then I'd use 'A. Smith and B. Jones,' with or without titles, on the envelope, and write first names of adults and children inside the card. As long as you don't use 'Mr and Mrs A Smith' you're probably safe smile

FantasticMrsFoxx Fri 19-Dec-14 21:04:22

OH and I are not married and I've noticed this envelope addressing issue with cards I've received for the first time this Christmas. We've received quite a few addressed to:
Sally and David
Street Name

To me it doesn't feel quite right. I'd prefer cards from my friends / family to be addressed to: Miss Sally Foxx. I can then open them, recognise the handwriting and pass on to OH, "Season's Greetings from Aunty Pam - that's my Dad's sister.“ Generally on the inside they are addressed to Sally and David, so maybe in some cases they don't know my OH's surname!
To cohabiting couples, I address the envelope to the partner I know first, with the partner's and children's names fully listed on the inside.

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