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Wording help please

(8 Posts)
PoirotsMoustache Thu 20-Mar-14 11:09:39

I've posted this in Weddings as well, but haven't had a reply at all, so thought I'd try here.

DP and I are getting married in June. We're having a tiny wedding (12 in total, including us), so the majority of extended family are not invited. To be honest, it's more a marriage ceremony followed by a meal and a few drinks at the pub afterwards.

We would like to send those who aren't invited a flute glass with their name on, with a little poem asking them to have a drink in our names on the day. A lovely mumsnetter gave me the perfect poem for that.

However, I need to put a note with the glass and poem explaining that they're welcome to come and have a drink, we'd love to see them, there is a travel inn at the pub, but we don't expect them to be there due to the distance and the fact it's not a 'proper' wedding.

I was thinking of saying something like: 'DP and I are getting married on (date). Due to various circumstances, we are not having a wedding as such, but will be having drinks at such-and-such pub from 2pm. We would love to see you there, and there is accommodation attached to the pub if you decide to join us. However, we do understand if you are unable to make it, it is a long way to travel for just a drink, and this is why we would like to give you this glass, so you can join us in spirit if not in the flesh.'

Could I please have your thoughts and opinions on this? I've no idea on etiquette, and I suspect certain family members are going to be upset that we're not having a big 'do', whatever I send them!


TwixTime Thu 20-Mar-14 21:28:51

I totally get where you are coming from and believe it is a heartfelt sentiment but I'll be honest and tell you what I would think if I received this

Ok so I'm not really invited but they are telling me because they want me to send a present...

I'm not saying that is the case at all but you should be prepared for how it might come across.

By the way I think you will have a lovely day, I'd be more inclined to not spend money on these tokens and at a later date celebrate with different family members by visiting them with a drink. If money is tight people will understand

PoirotsMoustache Sun 23-Mar-14 18:13:17

Thank you, Twix, I appreciate your reply. I hadn't actually thought that it may come across like that, mainly because it really isn't about presents at all! We both have more than we need, so we don't want gifts at all.

I will take your suggestion on board and have a think. Thanks again smile

onedev Sun 23-Mar-14 18:19:30

I actually think that's a lovely idea & like the note too!

PoirotsMoustache Sun 23-Mar-14 21:30:43

Thank you onedev smile

ThePartyArtist Mon 24-Mar-14 14:48:36

I think it's lovely, and that way people can choose to come or not. You're recognising it's a long way to come for a drink so people shouldn't feel bad if they can't make it.

Twitterqueen Mon 24-Mar-14 14:55:20

DP and I are having a very small wedding ceremony on [date]. We�d love to celebrate with all our friends � both those who can and those who can�t be there. We will be in [name of pub] from 2pm so please join us if you can. Accommodation is available at the pub if you decide to stay overnight. If you can�t join us (and we realise it is a long way to come just for a drink!) then please put this glass to good use and join us in spirit

PoirotsMoustache Tue 25-Mar-14 21:25:25

Thanks ThePartyArtist, and thanks Twitterqueen. you've put it in a much better way than I have!

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