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upset at kids bday party decline lack of etiquette!

(26 Posts)
mummyof2lou Thu 16-Jan-14 18:28:31

Am I being unreasonably upset? My daughter is having a birthday party next saturday and gave an invite weeks ago to a good friends child, which was accepted immediately. Today the childs mum tells me that her child has today received an invite to another party on the same date and would like to go to that one instead. I just think it is so rude! I don't want to make a big deal out of it and have a big fall out with my friend but inside I'm so angry that they can be so rude and hurtful to my daughter. If they got the invites at the same time that would be a little different but you can't accept an invite and right before accept someone else instead.

LunaticFringe Thu 16-Jan-14 18:32:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bowlersarm Thu 16-Jan-14 18:32:38

It is very very rude. And she must be very very insensitive. Once an invitation is accepted, that is that, whatever 'better' offer comes along afterwards.

Your poor dd.

Only1scoop Thu 16-Jan-14 18:36:49

Rude and insensitive hmm

ReluctantBeing Thu 16-Jan-14 18:37:37

How rude!

Lizzylou Thu 16-Jan-14 18:39:33

Incredibly rude and an awful example to set to her Dd.
What did you say? or will you say anything?

starfishmummy Thu 16-Jan-14 18:40:12

It is rude but there are a lot of people who do this or similar all the time.

starfishmummy Thu 16-Jan-14 18:40:45

It is rude but there are a lot of people who do this or similar all the time.

mummyof2lou Thu 16-Jan-14 18:40:53

Thanks for replying. I'm glad you both agree, I had worried I was overreacting. Its going to be really hard not to voice my disapproval but I can't see how that will help the situation. Wouldn't it be lovely to be able to say what you really think sometimes!

GlitzAndGiggles Thu 16-Jan-14 18:41:09

Bloody cheek! Very unfair imo

starfishmummy Thu 16-Jan-14 18:41:39

It is rude but there are a lot of people who do this or similar all the time.

Bowlersarm Thu 16-Jan-14 18:41:42

What will you tell your dd?

MarianForrester Thu 16-Jan-14 18:43:28

It is very rude.

The rule is clear, if you've accepted one you can't dump it and choose second one!

Try to rise above it and know that you are the better person.

mummyof2lou Thu 16-Jan-14 18:53:08

I haven't told her yet, I think I'll just tell her the truth, I don't want to lie to her.

RoganJosh Thu 16-Jan-14 18:56:00

Just as well she told you now, I suppose.

I'd tell a half truth to your daughter, just that it turns out she now can't come.

mummyof2lou Thu 16-Jan-14 18:57:56

Marian I think you're right, good advice, I should rise above it. My kids will grow up knowing that sort of behaviour is wrong, and my daughter will still have a nice birthday with her other friends. Its hard seeing rejection for your kids, this is my first experience of it.

Meglet Thu 16-Jan-14 20:09:15

My face literally did this >> shock. It's really rude.

I'd sugar coat what actually happened and not tell your DD the total truth. Can you say the other girls parents got muddled up and she had to go to the other party? Whatever you say you'll just have to be very diplomatic.

lovelyredwine Thu 16-Jan-14 20:13:34

That is very very rude, I agree. At least she told you though. 5 people didn't reply at all to my dd's birthday invite- 2 turned up, 3 didn't.

mummyof2lou Thu 16-Jan-14 20:31:49

I hate it when people don't RSVP, real pet hate of mine. I've never had a non rsvp actually turn up though, that is rude. You still end up doing seats and party bags for them all just incase they turn up and it ends up being a waste of money. People like that make me want to forget parties altogether, but of course its the kids that lose out then.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Thu 16-Jan-14 20:47:24

That is really rude and cruel to your dd. Is she looking forward to her friend coming? I do hope she's not too disappointed.

Please do explain to your friend and then come back here and tell us how mortified and apologetic she was!

I'd be tempted to tell her that the invitation is withdrawn because you won't be passed over for a better offer.

lovelyredwine Thu 16-Jan-14 20:56:32

Mummyof2lou- that's exactly it- we did party bags etc just in case! Dd's birthday is just after Christmas so I think everyone gets caught up with the festivities and don't get round to replying.

I hope your dd doesn't get upset by this crap behaviour and has a great birthday.

Minnieisthedevilmouse Fri 17-Jan-14 16:03:00

Rude. Tbh if absolutely had to if have said dd ill and still given you a present. No way id ever say dd prefers another child, that's v unnecessary and hurtful. I also can't really think of an 'absolutely' sort of person id have to do it for....

I'd downgrade that association to Xmas card only....

LouiseSmith Sat 18-Jan-14 15:59:26

I had a situation like that. A friend of mine had my ds's party and another on the same day. At the same time too. She asked of she could come in earlier to see us, and go to the other party at the set times. I agreed.

It seems a lil rude, couldn't she have made a appearance at both x

lljkk Sat 18-Jan-14 16:06:41

Oh gosh, I am a bit on the fence.
How old?

Are the numbers to OP's child's party very small? Will that one child really be missed?
At a young age they can go from best mates to loathing each other in a space of a few days, never mind a few weeks. With the shifting sands of friendship, I wouldn't think it right to pin a small child (under 8?) down to keeping their word about such a matter.
For an adult it is rude but I don't think right to apply same rules to small children.

Merguez Sat 18-Jan-14 17:50:34

Well it was very rude for her to be so frank with you.

If i was the other Mum and my daughter was adamant about the other party (maybe it's her best friend's party or something) then I would have made some sort of excuse and been extremely apologetic.

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