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do I politely apologise.. ?

(10 Posts)
bananacarnival Sun 08-Sep-13 14:12:33

To the parents of the children that DS (8) is choosing not to invite to his small intimate party? Two children in his class (former friends, plus I'm close to the parents) are going to be very upset when they find out that they're not invited. One particular boy gets very emotional when he hears about parties he's not invited to.

Should I politely apologise to the parents of these children? Anything I could say to soften the blow?

I've warned.DS that if he's going to exclude former friends then he must keep quiet about the party. But he's a child and it will be discussed in excitement at school no doubt.

Thank you

Yonihadtoask Sun 08-Sep-13 14:42:43

I can understand why you might want to do this.

However, I think all it will do is draw attention to their lack of an invitation.

lougle Sun 08-Sep-13 14:47:19

Nothing you say can make it better. I have a DD with SN. A mother apologised to me that DD wasn't invited with the explanation that 'she's at a different developmental level than the rest of them.' I mean, do you think I hadn't worked that out? That would be why she has a Statement, goes to special school, gets DLA, etc.....

BackforGood Sun 08-Sep-13 14:58:20

No - it's drawing attention to it. Parties do tend to get smaller as the children get into juniors - lots of children do a trip out or something rather than a party and only invite one or two friends. There is no need to apologise for this in any way.
If they were rue enough to mention it to you, then just brush it off... "We told him he could only have 4 friends, then it was up to him to choose - you know what they are like, would have been a completely different 4 if asked on a different week" . Smile. Change subject.

BackforGood Sun 08-Sep-13 14:58:39


ZeroTolerance Sun 08-Sep-13 15:00:26

When you say small, exactly how many? Out of a class of how many?

bananacarnival Sun 08-Sep-13 15:31:32

Many thanks, that's cleared it up for me. Zero, he's inviting 4 kids out of 30

ZeroTolerance Sun 08-Sep-13 15:38:19

4/30? Oh that's none at all. You don't mention it to anyone. Friendships change. All parents (should) know that. They're not being left out or bullied. I really think you've no reason to bring it up at all. Just enjoy it - 4 sounds heavenly!

bananacarnival Sun 08-Sep-13 16:15:32

Thanks again. V reassuring

bumperella Fri 20-Sep-13 21:37:22

Oh, I thought you were going to say he was inviting 28 out of 30! Wouldn't worry, am sure parents will no fine well that 8 year olds are fickle. Roll eyes and shrug resignedly or else tell him off for "bragging" about party if it comes up in front of them, whichever seems most appropriate.

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