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Making excuses at wedding on very short notice.

(12 Posts)
Mixxy Sat 01-Jun-13 06:39:33

I have to cancel my attendence at the wedding of good friends of mine on extremely short notice. My 13 week old son simply will not take a bottle from anybody else but me for the last week and was fussy about taking one from anybody else for a week or two. The problem is this. I live in NYC and we are going through a 93+ heat wave at the moment (I think sometime like 32 degrees). To get to the wedding with the baby with me would mean a six hour round trip on busses with my 13 week old son. Not possible in this heat. I can't leave him with DH or anybody else because he will scream his head off but flat out refuses to feed with anybody else. If he would just fuss and go hungry, I'd let my husband figure out a way to feed. But I can't, he would become dangerously dehydrated without constant intake during the day.

I have ordered flowers to arrive the wedding morning to the brides room, but really I am friends with the groom. How do I properly say sorry for not attending and assure them that I didn't just blow them off. Approx. 75 per cent of peoplea attending will notice my absense. Please advise.

GoofyIsACow Sat 01-Jun-13 06:42:08

Just call and tell the truth as soon as possible. How short is short?

Selba Sat 01-Jun-13 06:42:11

You tell the truth and you wish them well. It's that simple.
A true friend will understand.

foofooyeah Sat 01-Jun-13 06:42:52

Mixxy, just tell them the truth ... its a genuine and very understandable reason. Send a gift and write a lovely card.

SwishSwoshSwoosh Sat 01-Jun-13 06:51:20

You just tell the truth, your baby's health is quite rightly your first priority, simply say how sorry you are.

Mixxy Sat 01-Jun-13 07:08:48

Its less than 24 hours notice. I'd love to call but they're Upstate and coverage is spotty. I won't do it by text. Its an American wedding so its all rehersal wedding dinner stuff. I'm sure they are very busy and insisting on talking to them seems like I think its the biggest deal I am unable to attend. I don't want to seem self-important. Normally I pull tight situations off, but even as a first time mom, I know mh DSs health comes first. Damn you lapsed Catholic guilt! Few of my friends are parents so I'm sure there will be a few eyebrows raised. Thanks ladies for making me feel better about doing what is best for DS. And this was going to be a f'ing awesome wedding too!

Selba Sat 01-Jun-13 07:46:42

Here's an alternative thought : Are the buses air conditioned ? I once took a ten hour flight from the UK with my baby to attend a party in the USA - and flew home the following day ! He was 12 weeks old and fully breastfed. I just stuck him on the boob off and on the whole time . He slept most of the way anyway. At the party people were queuing up to look after him for me !! It was a really special experience

Mixxy Sat 01-Jun-13 08:13:42

My son has plageociohaly and torucullis. He could not breast feed because of his neck difficulties. The bus may, or may not be air conditioned. I would be stuck on a bus a Penn Station to find out.

The maid of honor (my best friend) contacted me to saythat she had explainwd the situation to the bride and groom. Thay said that it was totally understandable ny reasons for staying at home, I would be missed, but they understood. The bride said it was a problem she hoped to have herself soon.

I feel much better. Thanks ladies.

SwishSwoshSwoosh Sat 01-Jun-13 22:24:53

Glad to hear it is sorted out, they sound very understanding.

TallGiraffe Sat 01-Jun-13 22:27:10

The bride said it was a problem she hoped to have herself soon.

What a lovely Bride - Bridezillas take note!

mamalovebird Sat 01-Jun-13 22:30:37

These things happen, good friends will understand. On my wedding day, ds woke up with a rash, doctor confirmed slapped cheek syndrome so we had to call all pregnant guests at lunchtime to tell them about the risks. They all decided not to attend. You have to put your baby first.

Selba Sun 02-Jun-13 18:21:31

what a lovely thing for the bride to say.
Glad it's sorted and sorry you missed out on the fun

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