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How to say no to play date

(14 Posts)
bordellosboheme Mon 13-May-13 13:33:17

I posted a while back about my ds getting bitten by another child during a play date. After a week or two where its all gone quiet, the mum called up to ask for ds to come to play one eve. The girl is 6 months older and turning 2 this week. Thing is she bites every child she comes close to (there have been incidents since) and I don't want to put ds in the firing line. I wasn't quick enough to think of an excuse, so I said we were free, but now really don't want to go. I'm a bit of a wimp about saying its because of the biting, but can't think of what else to say... Has anyone got some words mi can use. I have bought her dd a card and present for her birthday, as she did 6 months ago.....

LifeofPo Mon 13-May-13 13:39:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RandomMess Mon 13-May-13 13:41:42

yep I'd go, ensure you supervise so you can intervene before teeth and limbs get together!

bordellosboheme Mon 13-May-13 14:16:46

Thing is its a pretty sure thing she will try to bite. 2 of us were supervising very closely but it still happened. I don't think I could relax and last time ds kept pointing to the door to leave. How do I say no politely having originally said I was free?

acceptableinthe80s Mon 13-May-13 14:19:10

Just say you forgot you already had plans or one of you are ill. Easy.
No need to put your child 'in the firing line' if you don't want to. 1 yr old is very young for 'playdates' anyway.

bordellosboheme Mon 13-May-13 16:49:47

Acceptableinthe80s I did consider a white lie like we're I'll / busy etc... But if she keeps asking I can't keep making excuses.... sadhmm

AThingInYourLife Mon 13-May-13 17:01:03

1 year olds don't have playdates.

Their mother have coffee dates they are dragged along to.

If you won't enjoy it then just cancel.

acceptableinthe80s Mon 13-May-13 17:59:19

bordello is the mum a friend? a close one? or just an acquaintance?
If it's the latter then you can just let things fizzle out. If she is a friend who's company you enjoy then you might have to broach the subject, however, hopefully her child will outgrow the biting phase quickly and it'll soon be a non-issue.

bordellosboheme Mon 13-May-13 18:15:19

Acceptableinthe80s she's an acquaintance rather than a friend. I guess I can just say something like we're busy...
Just don't want to offend.... I guess she will be okay with that. Thanks for your help smile

bordellosboheme Tue 14-May-13 18:11:48

Ok did it and now she's asking about next week...

TwinTum Tue 14-May-13 18:20:45

I was going to say dont make an excuse because she will just try to arrange for another day, but too late! Either you need to keep making excuses until she gets the hint or tackle it head on. I would be minded to give it one more go, but leave as soon as your DS starts to get upset, and then if she asks again I would tell her you prefer to leave it for a few months until DS is a bit more robust. (Dont mean to suggest your DS is any way at fault for not being robust by the way, just that it is a way of putting it that is less likely to cause offence to her).

Ragwort Tue 14-May-13 18:23:35

If you really can't say the real reason, say something like 'can I get back to you, we've got some family matters to deal with at the moment and I am not sure when we will be free'. I use my elderly parents as an excuse to get out of all sorts of things despite the fact that they are fitter and healthier than I am grin.

WouldBeHarrietVane Tue 14-May-13 18:24:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bordellosboheme Wed 15-May-13 12:13:18

Twintum.... That's an excellent way to put it without causing offence. Thank you for that.... I was struggling with a form of words, but didn't want to lie....

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