Recent discovery about neighbour..

(69 Posts)
Lambchop86 Tue 12-May-20 11:16:27

Hi everyone. Just a bit of advice wanted really. We moved into our new home late last year. It was going to be our forever home, however we have discover over the weekend that there is a convicted peadopile living opposite us. We are totally devasted by this news as we have 2 very young children - our minds have gone into overdrive about what we should do.
Can we call the police to ask whether he is being closely monitored / assessed as part of him being on the sex offenders register (since 2017)? Can they tell us anything?
I feel as though our children would be safe, (we don’t let them out of our sight if they are playing on the front garden for example) however we feel uncomfortable even looking at his house now and having to think about him and what he is. The thought of him even glancing at my children makes me feel physically sick.
We also live around 200m from a nursery - the fact that he is allowed to live in such close proximity to a child’s setting seems unbelievable. Will the nursery be aware of him, or should we tell them? There are so many families around us with small children (some neighbouring his garden) - do we have a duty to tell them about him?
We have so many questions, and not sure if most of our questions can be answered but needed to get it off of my chest.
I honestly think we are in shock about the discovery and our emotions are still raw, but most of all I feel sad that the life that we imagined in this house will have this black cloud hanging over it as long as he lives there.
Has anyone had any similar experiences to this? And if so how did you deal with it?Thanks

OP’s posts: |
imsooverthisdrama Tue 12-May-20 11:22:04

You don't mention how you know this information and his crime. You say you found out but you don't know anything further .
First thing I'd say is the source reliable can you check this out ?.
If this is true I can understand your feelings completely .

Lambchop86 Tue 12-May-20 11:31:16

Thanks for the response imsooverthisdrama. Unfortunately we know it to be 100% true. It made our local area papers/radio when he was sentenced (we’ve found this when we have googled his name)

OP’s posts: |
ThomasHardyPerennial Tue 12-May-20 12:10:33

For goodness sake, you cannot go around the neighbourhood informing everyone. That has the air of a vigilante campaign and you could be charged accordingly. What would you do - put posters through people's letterbox? Sounds like you want to incite hatred. Unfortunately he is there, and there is no where he can move to that won't be near families.

makingmiracles Tue 12-May-20 12:16:30

Hard one, unless you can afford to move somewhere where you have no immediate neighbours there’s always a risk one will live nearby, you could move again and be unaware you have moved near another. In this case I think it’s better the devil you know, so at least you know there is one and where he lives and can mitigate the risk accordingly. I wouldn’t go around informing people but I absolutely would inform police if he gives any cause for suspicion or concern.

SeasonFinale Tue 12-May-20 12:20:25

Why did you Google his name to begin with ? Are you sure it's not someone with the same name?

Lambchop86 Tue 12-May-20 12:25:12

No nothing like that, perhaps people already are aware in the area as this happened a few years ago. To be honest part of me wishes we hadn’t found out - ignorance is bliss and all that - however our thought process was if we were to let our friends know for example as they have children, it may just make them extra cautious with their children. My post was just firing out thoughts that have popped into our heads over the past few days but yes I understand your points. Thanks for the response

OP’s posts: |


Katinthedoghouse Tue 12-May-20 12:27:58

Sorry to hear you are living through this.

The nursery will be aware, and most likely the neighbours already know too if it was such a high profile case. Unfortunately I have experienced similar.

Be reassured that you are armed with the details now and can do best to look after your children and others around you.

Windyatthebeach Tue 12-May-20 12:28:49

Ime the police would not be happy if you inform people of your findings...
6 foot fence... No unsupervised playing out.

Elephantonascooter Tue 12-May-20 12:30:45

If he was convicted in 2017 and is already out and living within 200 meters of a nursery then I think it's worth remembering that the papers arnt always accurate and his crime could not be exactly what has been reported.
I understand where you're coming from and it's definitely something to be conscious of but there is a large difference between some crimes that are classed under the same name.

IndecentFeminist Tue 12-May-20 12:33:04

What makes you think the neighbours don't know if you do?

Dyrne Tue 12-May-20 12:35:52

God this is my worst nightmare. I thought that legally sellers had to disclose something like this?

LilacTree1 Tue 12-May-20 12:35:53

I think your first step is to talk to the police.

There’s meant to be safeguards but they often fall apart. They might know he’s living so close to a nursery.

AllianceOfCorcles Tue 12-May-20 12:36:33

I would feel quite the same op.
Would he be able to see into your back garden- if not I think I just let the kids play there going forward.
I wouldn’t share the information with others but I think it would be perfectly fine to contact the manager police and ask them for general advice- hopefully they’ll be able to reassure you about the kind of monitoring that’s happening too.

Wewearpinkonwednesdays Tue 12-May-20 12:40:12

If I knew i was absolutely correct about the person, I would tell people.
There was one place in a small block of flats which sit around 40 meters from my children's nursery, facing the garden area 🤔. Everyone knew because everyone told each other.

Sounds like you want to incite hatred

Does it? To be honest, who really gives a shit?

moobar Tue 12-May-20 12:42:01

Why do you think you know but nobody else will?

Why did you google his name?

Yes there will be monitoring in place should the information be accurate.

Where do you think you could live where this would not ever happen?

What about those that live next door to offenders who have not yet been convicted or caught? What's the risk there? Much much higher I would suspect.

My point being you cannot control everything. Keep your children under your watch, carry on as normal.

TheVanguardSix Tue 12-May-20 12:43:14

This is such a tough one. If you want to sleep well at night, move. It's very hard to pretend a black cloud isn't there. And I'm sorry to say it, but these guys tend to strike again.

SoloMummy Tue 12-May-20 12:43:21

How did you find out?

Lougle Tue 12-May-20 12:43:31

He has to live somewhere and your normal parenting will keep your children safe. Spreading the news isn't helpful.

LoisLittsLover Tue 12-May-20 12:44:36

You can make an application to the police under Sarah's law but it is then their decision what information to share with you based upon the level of risk to your children. Ime it would be unlikely for any information to be shared with you given that you are mitigating any risk yourself. If police do share anything, you would have to give an undertaking not to pads it any longer.

To the pp who mentioned the time elapsed since 2017, crimes against children attract pitifully short sentences. Even getting to Court is a hard task to be honest.

MyOwnSummer Tue 12-May-20 12:46:51

Unfortunately, under current laws these people have to be let out of jail when their sentence is over. I personally would favour sticking them all on an island somewhere, executing them or locking them up forever because the recidivism rate is so high for this type of crime.
Once you've abused a child, your chance to live in society at all should be over and done with forever, because some things are unforgivable and the risk to other children is just too high.

Other posters have nailed it though - if you move, you have no guarantee that you won't be next door to another one. At least you know what he is, and you can make sure to stay well away from him.

shittingmysel Tue 12-May-20 12:47:04

The town I live in simply takes an old school pitchfork and torches approach.
My sister lives on a street where for some reason they try to rehouse paedos all the time. Theres an angry resident who often puts them out threatens their life, paedo phones police and gets housed elsewhere for safety. It's not perfect, but it's again about 200m from a childcare setting, and the neighbours collectively see 'nothing' as no one actually wants the paedo to live there in the first place.
The last one was only there an hour!

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily Tue 12-May-20 12:47:34

Oh for goodness sake! The only difference between not knowing and knowing, is the fact you can identify the pervert in your street. He’s a revolting individual but unlikely to steal your child from your garden. Just take the precautions you should already be taking in order to protect your children. If they’re in the front garden, surely you’d be supervising them anyway?! Most of us will have a perverted creep living near us at some time. The only difference is we don’t know who he is.

Spied Tue 12-May-20 12:49:58

We could all be living next door to paedophiles. Many of us will have paedophiles as neighbours. Most won't have got caught yet or committed a crime.

I think is very likely most of your neighbours will know of them if it's been in the media. I'd be surprised if they didn't.

I think you making people aware and informing nursery etc could backfire on you.

Inthepurplerain Tue 12-May-20 12:53:31

Exactly what @Spied said.

You can’t go around telling anyone.

They’re everywhere! It’s life, you need to protect your children all the time, not just because there’s one living in your street.

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