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I am afraid of my ex and I might need help

(5 Posts)
LucilleAvignon Sun 17-Mar-19 22:24:25

Hello everyone.

I am not British and eight years ago I came to UK for some months for a course. While here I had a relationship with a local guy, and that relationship ended in a horrible way. He was just a mentally disturbed person and I started to be scared of him (I didn't know he was so bad when we started our romance. If I knew that I would never had accepted him as my boyfriend at first place). Back then my safety was that, as my course ended, I had to go back to my country and I knew he couldn't afford buying a plane ticket.

Now I came back to UK, my partner is British and we have a baby. My ex doesn't know I am living here and that now I am a mother (or at least I hope he doesn't), but he knew I was in a relationship with a British man last I knew anything about him few years ago.

I am really afraid of what could happen if he find out I am here. He is borderline, he used to blame me for everything bad that happened in his life (when the only one to blame was himself). After I went back to my country, through internet he told me once (when I told him I definitely did not want him as my boyfriend anymore) that his life wouldn't have any meaning anymore without me, that he would kill himself and that it would be my fault, and that I would have to live forever knowing I was the one to blame. When he found out I was in a relationship with a British man he went completely mad, he sent me messages saying that he wanted to hit my head hard on the wall and tried to convince my partner that I was a prostitute. All of that was online, so we just blocked his ways to contact us (back then my partner wasn't living in UK).

Now that we are living in same country, I am really afraid of what he could do if he finds out we are just few hours by train from him. And especially, I am afraid of what he could do to my kid. That guy is the typical person that is an user of image boards that spread hate: white man who lives with parents, doesn't work or do anything good at all, spend whole day playing games and watching pornography, troublemaker, depressive, borderline, "incel" (involuntary celibate - they blame women for that), etc.

I wonder if anyone would have any advice to me. What could I do, if there is any kind of organisation that women could get some help with similar problem, etc. Any kind of help would be nice.

Thanks in advance.

PersonaNonGarter Sun 17-Mar-19 22:28:34

Two things: tell the police absolutely everything. And then get some counselling to help you through this.

You are clearly terrified and I think that alone should move you to speak to the police. I think that there are officers trained in dealing with stalkers - hopefully another poster will have more information about this.

SirVixofVixHall Sun 17-Mar-19 22:39:39

I agree with PersonaNonGarter .
So sorry this man has terrorised you like this.

SirVixofVixHall Sun 17-Mar-19 22:42:40

Also you can call Women’s Aid for advice.

LucilleAvignon Mon 18-Mar-19 11:46:00

Thank you very much!

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