What do I do now?!

[Carpballs]

I’ve just found out I’m pregnant. I’m on the mini pill and this is definitely not planned.
I’ve never been maternal and just can’t picture my life with a child/children even though I’m great with other people’s children. I don’t dislike children, I’ve just never had the biological urge to have my own.

What on earth do I do now? I know I don’t want this baby but I can’t help feeling like I should want it.

I can’t talk to family/friends - I’m surrounded by happily pregnant friends and relatives yet I don’t feel the same as them.

I can talk to the father but I know he will feel the same as me.

It’s a long shot but I need to hear others opinions/experiences to help me work out what I should do. I’m mid 30s, good career and absolutely no support - parents live 100’s of miles away.

Thanks and please be kind.

[slothface]

Honestly, it doesn't matter what other people are doing or what you think you should want. All that matters is how you feel. I was in your position a few years ago, had an abortion and honestly have never given it a second thought since. Do whats right for you

[Dvg]

Honestly i think its up to you in so far as dont feel you have to have it or should have it.. there are plenty of options, first thing is to find out how far along you are secondly look at your options.

You may find that once you have this child your thoughts change BUT you may not and thats fine, have a look into either termination, adoption or surragacy and then call your GP and ask to speak to someone about them and find out how far you are.

If you really dont want kids then dont be afraid to just say no to having him/her but you may also find your feelings change if you go through with the pregnancy.

I wish you all the best x

[Carpballs]

Thank you for your replies.

You’re both right, I need to speak to my gp, find out how far along I am and go from there.

I quite like the idea of alternative options eg adoption.

I just hope I have enough time to be able to consider all avenues and the potential consequences of each.

Thank you

[MummatoaMunchin]

Hey hun just another perspective. I had my little boy 7 months ago and i love him to bits and i do want another one but not yet. For many reasons my health (i need sleep lol) and money situation. So if i found myself pregnant now i would freak out and would consider an abortion.

Parenting is hard, it is a bjg decision to make. I have friends who were desperate to have kids but in reality have found it so tough and maybe consider doing things differently. Equally i have known people who werent maternal at all not bothered about having kids and have taken to it like a duck to water.

You have to do what is right for you and no one should judge you for it. Its your body and your life and its a huge change. It doesnt even effect the father in the same way.

Good luck with whatever you decided to do

[FinallyHere]

One of the great things about being an adult, that, as long as you do no harm to others, there really are no 'should's. Every child a wanted child is a lovely idea. If you do not want a child at the moment, then there are plenty of options in the UK. Hope you find what works for you, all the very best.