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Crushing on daughter’s boyfriend

(12 Posts)
Sagebrush Sat 20-Jan-18 17:43:23

I’m a 50 year old married mom of three. Recently my 20 year old daughter started dating a young man. He has been coming to the house a lot and spending time with our family. My problem is that I am attracted to him and this has never happened with any of her other boyfriends before.

I am happily married and I do not plan on acting on this or telling my daughter or husband about it but it’s making me feel uncomfortable and like there is something wrong with me.

Should I seek therapy to help me deal with my feelings or do you think this will pass on it’s own?

thiswas Tue 23-Jan-18 15:19:51

No.

just enjoy the feeling and don't let him or her notice any behavioural change.

Then in the privacy of your own bedroom you can do whatever you want.

GreenSeededGrape Tue 23-Jan-18 15:21:51

hmm

retirednow Tue 23-Jan-18 23:14:51

sad

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish Thu 08-Feb-18 01:37:52

Whatever you do don't let your daughter, or husband, or daughters boyfriend know about the crush, it will make things very very awkward for you all

And dont confide in anybody about it as when people get a juicy bit of gossip (and having a crush on daughters boyfriend is juicy gossip) people will say they will keep it to themselves but they tell others, who tell others, who tell other etc and I'm assuming you wouldn't want it to get out grin

Enjoy your crush, but keep it in your own head, and remember that you are married and that ever acting on your crush in the real world would likely cause your family to break apart and risk losing your husband and daughter who would both feel betrayed

halfwitpicker Thu 08-Feb-18 01:48:11

Really?

healzam Tue 29-May-18 04:16:43

Boundaries

This is not okay. If your daughter found out, even just a crush she would feel really uncomfortable for he rest of her life.

CurlyWurlyTwirly Tue 29-May-18 05:11:29

Therapy is a safe space to talk about things which pertain to you.
Obviously you are not going to act on or discuss this with people in real life, but if you are struggling with feeling comfortable or acting normal around them, then there is no harm in speaking to someone

OrchidInTheSun Tue 29-May-18 05:20:50

This is a zombie thread

isthistoonosy Tue 29-May-18 05:22:27

Assuming he is tour daugters age can you make a point of remembering when you went to that concert / country/ watched that show he was not born / a baby. You have nothing in common with each other. And just hope you don't meet his dad anytime soon.

ONE23FOUR Mon 25-Jun-18 14:55:16

An acquaintance is a big Instagrammer who is always posting pictures of healthy food she makes. She's a big advocate of being body positive and regularly shouts out anything negative about body image (rightly so). What she never mentions is that she works in Macdonalds. I find this a double standard from a moral perspective considering the battle with obesity. Let's not beat about the bush here. It's one thing to be proud of your shape and never to knock others but from a health standpoint, obesity is a huge problem facing today's society. Macdonalds will argue that they promote healthy eating so why does she omit her job from her blogs and pictures? hmm

ONE23FOUR Mon 25-Jun-18 14:57:55

Sorry this is my first post on here I think I put it in the wrong place. How can I remove it?

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