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Ethical dilemmas

Do I tell my ex's parents that they have a half brother

6 replies

Boomer84 · 06/12/2017 22:49

Ok here goes... very complicated situation. I met my ex approx 6 years ago, we had a whirlwind romance and the end product after 3 months was me being pregnant. He neglected to tell me he had a wife and kids! He left them when I was 7 months pregnant but didn't tell them about me or our beautiful baby boy. And they still don't know to this day! I broke up with him around 6 months ago, he's had no contact with our boy at all even though we live in the same town and I've never stopped him seeing him.
The question I need help with now is do I make contact with his children (who he sees regularly) to tell them they have a half brother? I really don't want to stir up trouble between my ex and his children (even though he deserves it) but do the children involved including my boy have a right to know about each other?

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Mumof56 · 06/12/2017 22:51

Contacting his children would be out of order. It's his decision to introduce them or not.

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Tinselistacky · 06/12/2017 22:52

I personally would tell his dw. She needs to know.

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stitchglitched · 06/12/2017 22:58

So you've gone along with them being kept in the dark for 6 years? They should have been told in the first place but I'm wondering why there is a sudden need for them to know now, just because your relationship has ended?

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Pringlepoo · 06/12/2017 22:58

No.

I don't know what there is to be gained by you poking this hornets nest.

I'd be very surprised if his wife doesn't already now if you all live in a small town.

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rcit · 06/12/2017 23:06

If you want to tell his wife write something really simple:

Dear Sally
I wanted to let you know that I have a child (boy aged 5) and his father is your ex husband Steve. At the time, I did not know Steve was married. If you or your children wish to meet us, please contact me at xxxxxx (don’t give your address)
Yours, OP

Bear in mind he left his wife and kids for you. She may want to punch you.

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Boomer84 · 06/12/2017 23:07

Thank you for all your comments so far. Some a bit harsh but just what I needed to hear.
I'm not bitter about the breakup, it was me doing all the breaking up and I'm so much happier on my own. I guess I'm just worried if they find out when they're older then they'll blame me for missing out on years. But weighing it up I'd rather not 'poke the hornets nest' as you said.
Thanks ladies, appreciate the feedback

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