(8 Posts)
Username7654321 Mon 08-May-17 20:26:15

I wouldn't say this is an ethical dilemma as such, but I couldn't find a more appropriate area to post. I just wondered what other people's opinions are on this, and accept that some people will probably want to roast me for it, but here goes....
I think I've developed a culturist view in recent years. I grew up in a very middle class and affluent area. I had friends of all different nationalities, races, religions and creeds. I have always loved different cultures and getting involved in them when I can. My best friend growing up was Muslim and I used to fast with her every year. I've never had any issue with anyone with different views and have always prided myself on being liberal and accepting.
HOWEVER, myself and my partner have lived in a more deprived area of our city for the last 4 years as we couldn't afford to buy where I grew up, which is totally fine. Now every problem we've had since living there has involved people of a certain culture. I don't even know what I would call it because it isn't a particular religion or race. We've had issues with children living below us as they have absolutely no routine whatsoever - screaming and banging around the house at 2am and then up screaming (probably exhausted from lack of sleep) at 6am. They also let their kids (who are about 4 and 6) play in the communal car park unsupervised and don't care that they bang on cars and risk their own lives! When they first moved in we went down to speak to them about it. The mum doesn't speak any English and wouldn't even stand in the same room as us (in her house!) because my partner is male.
The last two weeks we noticed that in our communal bin area outside, someone was dumping bin bags 5 FEET from the bins just next to the back door WITH USED NAPPIES IN (looks like they can't be bothered walking all of five feet to put it in the bin). Each time I've seen it I've looked to see if there is anything with an address on so I can find out who's doing it. Today I managed to actually find a letter, so went to the appropriate flat. And another woman with a burka answered the door. I introduced myself and asked her if she knew anything about the dumped litter. She totally denied it but she had a young baby and the letter was her address!! It really infuriated me and I've starred finding myself feeling such anger to that culture.
I also work in a hospital in the same area I'm living, and the majority of patients that cause issues with staff and other patients are of the same culture. They often can't speak English (even after living here 20 years) and require translators - which costs the NHS alot! The women refuse to be seen be male staff so they wait and kick up a fuss if told there is noone available, and when their 20 relatives visit and take up the whole ward (we have a 2 visitor per patient rule), they start shouting and kicking off!!
I have no issue with anyone migrating / immigrating etc and I voted to remain in the EU haha. But surely if you move to a country you learn the language, integrate and follow the societal norms (ie - don't dump rubbish 5 FEET from the bin). I feel like I'm not able to rant to any of my friends or colleagues in the fear of being called racist. But it's nothing to do with race, religion or colour of someone's skin. It's about culture and I admit I do have a problem with it! Am I alone??

OP’s posts: |
Username7654321 Mon 08-May-17 20:29:48

Sorry for the rant, I am aware it comes off as quite erratic but I just feel fed up!

OP’s posts: |
LtGreggs Mon 08-May-17 21:10:55

I get you, if you mean 'the culture by which people live everyday in a certain way'. If the households living around you have very different priorities about the local environment for example - like how reasonable it is to habitually leave rubbish bags not in bins. That would piss me off.

The male nurse/doctor thing - I kind of think that is quite entitled behaviour actually. Possibly less so for gynae stuff. But in general, if it's free access healthcare you don't get to be so choosy about who delivers it, as long as they act professionally and are qualified for the task.

I'm rambling too though. Maybe the thing is to rant against & challenge each individual behaviour - rather than fall in to a trap of saying all poor / black / Polish / Muslim / gay / whatever people are awful. This is maybe rather idealistic. Or maybe we need to be vigilant in challenging ourselves to uphold this ideal?

MissBax Tue 09-May-17 09:18:42

Totally get it!!!

museumum Tue 09-May-17 09:25:11

I guess the ethical issue is that these people do not represent everyone of their country of origin or religion or race or whatever.
I see people of my ethnic background from my part of the world, who speak my language, and look like me, behaving like animals in the streets of magalouf on tv programmes, but THEY ARE NOT ME. Nothing in my culture makes that acceptable behaviour. It is so important that although it's natural to judge people on their behaviour we must not prejudge people who look like that set of people and assume the worst.

HildaOg Sun 21-May-17 00:29:46

I know from several friends from that part of the world is that a large part of the problem you're referring to are related to immigration of uneducated people who are culturally from villages which are a thousand years behind the rest of us. They have a different mentality. You have entire villages from certain regions that have moved to Britain and brought all their issues with them. They can't integrate because they've moved into areas with their families and neighbours from home. It's mass cultural relocation. Which is fine if it's a positive culture but not all are.

Atenco Sun 21-May-17 04:48:00

I guess the ethical issue is that these people do not represent everyone of their country of origin or religion or race or whatever

This is it. I am an expat living in Mexico and I hate the fact that when I blow it, and I do, people will think that my fellow countrymen are like me.


NonStopDisco Sun 21-May-17 05:11:54

I guess the ethical issue is that these people do not represent everyone of their country of origin or religion or race or whatever

How come it always seems to be that if you do something negative, that's representative of a whole race/ culture. If you do so,thing positive, it's "you're not like the other people of your race/culture/ etc"

OP You say it's a deprived area- could this contribute to the issue? People that don't have skills get located there, or it's all they can afford, there's little to no local services, such as language lessons. This leads to less integration, less opportunity to learn from other people, no way to access parenting tips or skills, and then leading to a feeling of an entire detached community as the only people they can speak to are others in the same boat?

You're also looking at the women only wanting to talk to other women because otherwise it "compromises" their status. They're probably aware that other women will speak to a man, or be seen by a male doctor, but that doesn't mean they are safe to do so. The men are probably aware that other men's wives and daughters do this, but fear being further isolated.

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