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Ethical dilemmas

What should he do?

6 replies

HirplesWithHaggis · 02/03/2017 18:53

This is really for my son, who has given me permission to ask.

DS2 has an exgirlfriend who was fun, sparky and ambitious, and who we all liked very much. Sadly, since they split a couple of years ago (she left him for another man) she has made a series of bad decisions which resulted in her presenting as emergency homeless with our local council. The council put her into the local hostel and provided 28 days of storage for her larger pieces of furniture, and, as she asked nicely and we did all still like her, we agreed to store her clothes, boxes of kitchen stuff and so on, in our spare room. She was adamant that it was only for a few weeks.

Of course, months later, we still have most of her clutter and relations with her have deteriorated. She has moved house at least once and possibly twice, and we have no idea where she currently lives. She's changed her mobile number so the only way to contact her is via FB.

One of the items we are storing is a massive TV, which she bought on credit from Brighthouse or similar, RRP about £1500 but will end up paying more like £3000. She's not been paying for it, but after debt collectors (of some sort, not clear on details) turned up on her mother's doorstep, her mum has been making repayments. Her mum has also been threatened by less-legit debt collectors, and has paid her drug debts too.

So today she has asked ds when she can come collect the rest of her stuff, "if we still have it". Ds has been struggling for a while with what to do with the TV - return it to the ex, or take it to her mum, who is paying for it? Her mum can then decide whether to give it back to her dd (they're not talking atm), keep it, or sell it to recuperate some of the cash she's laid out.

What should he do?

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hotwater · 02/03/2017 18:56

Give her 48 hours to get it or let her mum come and get it out of your hair. You have more than honoured your original promise to store it for a few weeks.

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HirplesWithHaggis · 02/03/2017 19:39

She seems willing to come and get her stuff, but do we hand over the tv, or give it to her mum?

I don't know if the latter would be illegal, don't need police on the doorstep - or her more dodgy friends.

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ImperialBlether · 02/03/2017 19:40

I would phone her mum and ask her what to do.

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HirplesWithHaggis · 02/03/2017 21:05

Not sure DS has a phone number for her mum, but probably does for her brother. I'll suggest that to him.

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LivininaBox · 02/03/2017 21:27

Perhaps she didn't collect because bailiffs were coming round? I think you need to give it back to her, because it is hers. The mother doesn't have to pay the debt if she doesn't want to.

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HirplesWithHaggis · 02/03/2017 21:59

Her housing situation was rather perilous - she did a couple of months in the homeless hostel (she thought it would be 28 days max, because that was the storage offer from the council) and then moved to a temporary flat, which has been used as temporary accommodation for years and all the locals know it. It's a ripe target for housebreakers. She also has a fair few rather unsavoury "friends" who'd sell their grannies for a score bag, and an expensive tv would be tempting. Leaving it here this long might have been one of her better recent decisions.

I'm hoping this new request means she has somewhere secure to live and is sorting herself out, having hit rock bottom and now starting to climb out. I know her mum doesn't have to pay, and doubt I would have done in such circumstances, but that's what she's chosen to do. (I have never met her.)

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