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My Abortion Regrets

(4 Posts)
Nick96 Fri 17-Feb-17 16:35:32

This is such a difficult topic to talk about, I understand that it's entirely my fault that I'm in this situation but I'm hoping I could get some advice.

Its been over a year since I fell pregnant. I remember feeling so scared about everything. When I told my partner he was great for the most part. No one - including him - let him have much input on my decision and while he said he would support me with anything I just wanted to know what he wanted. I realise now that I was hoping for him to tell me that we should keep the baby and that we would figure everything out and everything would be great.

I weighed the pros and cons, but I was 18 and going to uni and had no way of supporting a family. He was also in no position to support a family and we had only been together for a couple months. From the moment I decided to terminate the pregnancy I regretted it.

We're so close now, I can talk to him about anything except this. We've talked about having a family but I know that he wants to wait until were in a good position, as things haven't changed much since then. But I've felt depressed and numb for over a year, my baby is all I can ever think about. What I really want is to have him/her in my arms right now.

I know its selfish, but I feel that I have been brooding so much and all I want is to have a family. I know if I talk to him about it he'll talk all logical and it will break my heart.

I just don't know what to do. I feel so trapped in my own head about it and its lonely.

StealthPolarBear Fri 17-Feb-17 16:39:46

I'm so sorry. Fwiw I thibk you made rhe right decision and the grief you are feeling, while real and valid does not change that. Did you get any counselling? It's not too late and you could maybe have some of the sessions with your partner.

Nick96 Sun 19-Feb-17 02:03:44

I haven't, its something I was offered afterwards but I thought I could just go on and pretend it never happened. It might be worth considering, it's hard to admit to him that I've been struggling. Thank you

Jenniferb21 Sun 19-Feb-17 02:12:21

Hi

I was 20 at university when I was in this exact same position with my now husband. I regretted it for about 2 years but it got easier each month or so to deal with. Please see your GP and they'll refer you for some counselling. It is important to get some professional help at this stage as it's affected you for some time.

All I can say is you made a decision that at the time was practical and the best decision for you both. I now have a baby and I couldn't be happier. It's the right time now and I know I can provide for him in a way I wouldn't have been able to for a child whilst at university. Not to mention I most likely would have dropped out of university and not returned.

Try to remember that at that time you made a decision which felt right and there's nothing wrong with still feeling regret/guilt and/or loss it's totally normal. But please seek progressional help.

You will move on and it will get easier in time especially when the time is right and you have a baby. It took that for me to make me realise I wouldn't have coped back then and I wouldn't have provided well for a baby.

Wishing you good luck x

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