In August of 2016 I had an abortion. It was not something that I wanted to do as I already had one child at the young age of 16 and felt that if I could cope at that age I would be able to cope now as I'm much older and wiser and was in a much better situation but my then partner pressured and manipulated me into having one. Then he just disappeared off the face of the earth. I was devastated and realized I had been played. He stuck around to make sure I went through with it then I find out a couple of months later he's back with his ex who caused so much drama during our relationship I am glad to be shot of him but I recently found out from a kind of mutual friend my ex is back on Facebook and I'm wondering if I should send him a message, not to be nasty or to try and win him back but just to let him know what he caused when he left but also to say that I don't hold it against him? I'm not sure if it would give me "closure". There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of that baby and I really need something to help me close that chapter of my life because I'm really starting to drown in my self-loathing for being naive and not doing what I wanted for myself. I would really appreciate any advice, thank you.
OP, I'm sorry you are going through this. try to focus your energy on getting what you want. A family with a decent partner. I know you are feeling the loss of a baby but you have made a strong and brave choice not to have a child with an awful person. Not to give your child an awful father. If you can see it like that and that your child is still there in the future maybe it will feel a bit better?
I suspect you are caught up in the pain of your ex pissing off and now being with someone else and maybe mixing that up as pain about having an abortion. For what it's worth, you made a decision that saves you being tied to this man forever.