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Godparent advice.. Am I right to be offended

(7 Posts)
Sazlu88 Mon 26-Dec-16 23:20:59

So I'm trying to figure out if I'm right to be hurt/offended or not.. please give your honest opinion.

When I was pregnant with my first child, my cousin kept saying he really wanted to be godparent. I said no initially, as I thought it made sense to have friends over family; family know how important they are to me and will always be close to my child, whereas it's nice to show a long standing friend how highly you think of them. He disagreed, and said he was like a brother to me growing up (which he was) and kept saying he reallly wanted to be godparent. In the end, I thought about it, and made him godparent. It clearly meant a lot to him.

A year down the line, he has had a baby, and he hasn't asked me! He moved away, so he doesn't get to see my daughter very often, and I don't get to see his son as often as I'd like, but I'm still hurt that he wouldn't ask me, after me making him my daughters godparent. Am I wrong to be offended and hurt? We haven't officially had our daughters christening yet, we are set to have it in a few months, and the child in me feels like saying 'fine, you're not my daughters either then.' But I know that's childish.

I explained to his mum (my aunt) that I was upset and she said that he got to pick the male godparents and the mum got to pick the female god parents (and she has 2 sisters she's asked), but that doesn't seem to make me feel any better. Could he not have said we'll have 3 female godparents, and asked me too? After all, 'He was like a brother to me growing up!?'

Am I being silly? sad

RebelRogue Mon 26-Dec-16 23:23:49

Did you actually ask him to be godparent (like he did)?

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout Mon 26-Dec-16 23:33:42

If your baby hasn't been baptised yet then I'd rethink. Have who you want, whether him or someone else. It's the parents' choice

Ellisandra Sun 01-Jan-17 22:29:13

You don't use baptism as a way to show someone that you think highly of them.

DanyellasDonkey Sun 01-Jan-17 22:37:41

I wouldn't bother about it too much. My kids don't have grandparents as they had dedication services rather than baptisms and they haven't suffered.

On the other hand, my sister had our cousin as godmother to both her kids and she has done nothing to carry out the role (whatever it is meant to be).

Some people take it seriously, others don't.

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder Sun 01-Jan-17 22:41:39

What Ellisandra said. If he's moved away and rarely sees your daughter, how able is he to be a good Godparent? Will he provide support to your DD? Is he a good role model for her? Those are the questions to ask.

Ellisandra Sun 01-Jan-17 22:47:16

It's true that some people don't take it seriously - both the godparent and the parent choosing the godparent. Which makes you wonder why they bother confused
I mean, it's really odd to just take an important ritual from a part of someone's faith, and not take it seriously - isn't it?

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