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Ethical dilemmas

Abortion tomorrow, single mum with MS

17 replies

Froggie72 · 05/07/2016 20:20

I'm petrified. 6 weeks ago I found out I have MS. I AM a single mum with 2 girls 4 and 7. Been seeing what I thought was a wonderful man for 2 years. Had a condom incident so got the MAP the next morning but find out I'm pregnant 3 weeks later! I'm 38 and what I thought was a wonderful man said he can't be with me and will not support me. With the unpredictably of MS and being alone I can't do this. Hate the thought of an abortion but I have to think of me and my girls. I'm booked for a surgical procedure under local anaesthetic tomorrow at 130. I'm panicking already as the clinic on the phone was awful and abrupt and nasty. I'm paying privately as my local nhs will not do it under local. Can I take diazepam before to calm down?
Please no judgements, advice only. Thanks x

OP posts:

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HermioneWeasley · 05/07/2016 20:24

So sorry about the MS diagnosis. You are right, you need to do what's right for you and your family.

I don't know about diazepam - wouldn't have thought it would be an issue, but can you call 111 to clarify?

user1466610292 · 05/07/2016 20:27

So sorry you have to go through this. I have just miscarried a very wanted baby but have no bad feeling towards you, so I don't see how anyone else can. Sending you strength for tomorrow xxx

BananaL0af · 05/07/2016 20:30

You could ask at the clinic about the diazepam tomorrow, it's fairly quick acting so you wouldn't need to take it much earlier than the procedure for it to have an effect.

Have you anyone to help you afterwards?

cheminotte · 05/07/2016 20:31

I think you are making the right decision. Your existing dc are very important here. Do you have any friends in real life who can support you?

cheminotte · 05/07/2016 20:32

There is also a pregnancy choices topic - may be worth asking MN to move your thread there.

HeffalumpHistory · 05/07/2016 20:39

what an awful situation. You are doing what is best for you & your girls.

I'm sorry I'm not sure about taking diazepam. Hopefully someone will be along soon who is more of s help.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope you have some support in RL

missybct · 05/07/2016 20:42

I really wouldn't risk diazepam without clearing it with clinic - but, if you feel you can't wait until then I'd also call 111 - do you take it regularly? I'd be cautious simply because you're adding a benzo on top of anesthetic - although I know they sometimes use them in conjunction.

No judging from me, I don't see how anybody can - you are making a choice for yourself and your existing DC and even if you didn't have those reasons, it's YOUR choice and it's valid no matter what.

From a practical POV - how are you getting to clinic and home from clinic tomorrow?

lisalisa · 05/07/2016 20:43

Just ask the clinic about the diazepam before taking as it might be contraindicated with the aneasthetuc . You could try rescue remedies ? I know it sounds callous but it's a short procedure and you'll be out and it's over before you know it and you can carry on life . So sorry for you with your diagnoses x

missybct · 05/07/2016 20:45

Actually - with the diazepam - I'd really try waiting until you can get hold of clinic. If I remember correctly from previous experience, they wouldn't perform the procedure if you had taken certain medication 24 hours beforehand - so please please check. I wouldn't want you to get to clinic and be turned away, because that in itself would be difficult.

I'm thinking of you

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 05/07/2016 20:47

My love you're going through it, but being so strong. I can't give you any medical advice, sorry, but just wanted to post and wish you well.

Froggie72 · 05/07/2016 20:51

Thank you. Called the clinic. Crazy they told me I can take diazepam after but not before. Why on earth do I want it after? Horrible lady on the phone who was a nurse she was just nasty. Really having a go at me. Zero bedside manner and now I'm scared to go. Looked lots online and it says it's ok to take and the clinic in Stratford and my gp said its ok.

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Globetrotter100 · 05/07/2016 21:03

I am so sorry to read what you're going through

Froggie72 · 05/07/2016 21:32

I've been better. But just want to get back to normal with me and my girls and no man. Going gets tough and he runs

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timelytess · 05/07/2016 21:42

Just sending and good wishes because you're in a hard place and I hope no-one criticises you at all. Be kind to yourself.

Froggie72 · 05/07/2016 22:11

Thank you everyone. Wish I could reply to you all individually but I dont know if that's possible on here as it's only the second time I've been on here. Well the bloke is taking me and paying for it missybct. Think it's only through guilt though and because he thinks it's what he should do not because he wants too. A huge part of me resents him and hates him right now. I'm not a nasty person but I dont think I can ever be ok with him again because of he was by my side 100% I wouldn't be doing all this tomorrow x

OP posts:

Globetrotter100 · 06/07/2016 16:42

Are you OK?

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 08/07/2016 12:27

Been thinking of you Froggie

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