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Is my neighbor a sex tourist?

(21 Posts)
BusyCee Thu 12-May-16 19:34:41

I am prepared to flamed, if not incinerated, over this, but...

My neighbors son lives with her. He is probably late 40s in age. I don't really talk to him, as we don't have anything in common. He works with an acquaintance doing odd jobs and DIY.

A family friend of ours worked with him on a building job last year. The family friend is ex-forces, so not unfamiliar with a 'bloke-ie' culture. His nickname for neighbors son (on the rare occasions he came up in conversation) was 'sex pest' because of his persistent slightly unsavory conversation. It was a light hearted thing. Until I had DC3 who turned out to be a girl. The next time neighbors son came up in conversation family friend said 'in all seriousness, just watch him around DD'.

Neighbors son regularly goes to Thailand on holiday. A couple of times a year, for 4-6wks at a time. He's evasive when I've asked him about it. Family friend 'reckons' he goes as a sex tourist. It churns my stomach.

So. My question is; with 0 evidence, other than unsavory conversation and an uneasy feeling, is there a UK agency that might be interested in at least looking into his behaviour abroad? Might they at least want a name? Or is it just too spurious and twitchy-net-curtain. Do I just mind my own children and hope that I'm being too sodding nosey?

KERALA1 Thu 12-May-16 19:36:26

Ewwww. Not sure what you can do but sounds seedy as hell

JustLostTheGame Thu 12-May-16 19:38:58

Would it be worth (is it possible?) checking with your local police department whether he is known to them?

Campbell2016 Thu 12-May-16 19:41:36

Are you assuming he's interested in under age girls?

BusyCee Thu 12-May-16 19:47:37

I'm not making assumptions - MN has taught me there may be any number of alternative reasons for things. I just feel uneasy and I'm not sufficiently knowledgeable to know what - if anything - might be a red flag to the authorities. My second info from family friend is quite unpleasant. But it's attitudinal and not illegal

I don't know which authority might be relevant or what info they would need. I do appreciate this all just baseless.

exexpat Thu 12-May-16 19:51:15

Technically, British citizens who abuse children abroad can be prosecuted in the UK, but it very rarely happens, due to the difficulty of investigating and getting evidence see this article.

It is possible your neighbour abuses children abroad, but it is also possible that he uses sex workers who are over the age of consent - there are plenty of those in Thailand too. Unless you (or your friend) have hard evidence, I can't imagine the police here would be interested. But in your position I would probably share your suspicions and not want to have anything to do with him.

BusyCee Thu 12-May-16 20:05:26

Campbell. I've thought again about your question. Yes. I do assume he's interested in young girls. And I assume he wouldn't actively pursue it in person here, but has access to younger, more vulnerable girls in Thailand.

Shudder.

BusyCee Thu 12-May-16 20:06:11

But agree. With no more than a bad feeling I can't actually fairly earn any authority.

BusyCee Thu 12-May-16 20:06:21

warn

ABCAlwaysBeCunting Thu 12-May-16 20:09:15

I honestly don't think you can do anything, or would be right to do so, based on a few comments and second hand suspicions. The guy may be a sleazeball but that doesn't automatically make him a paedophile.

I'd keep my eyes open around my own family and friends but I wouldn't start going to the police based on what you've said here, sorry.

LongHardStare Sat 14-May-16 16:30:18

If you (or your family friend) can be specific about what things the neighbour has said, behaviour he has displayed, recurrence of these, which have been inappropriate and given you reason to believe he has a sexual interest in under age girls, then I don't think you should feel bad about alerting authorities to your suspicion.

Could you start by using Sarah's Law to formally ask the police if he is someone who has a record for child sexual offences?

No-one's saying the police will launch a full on investigation into his activities abroad, but if they at least log your concerns it might be the case that there have been other reports about him.

cdtaylornats Wed 15-Jun-16 22:59:25

You can only use Sarahs Law if he has access to the child.

Perhaps get some sort of proof before you slander him. Why not ask what he does in Thailand? Serve you right if you get treated to 4 hours of pictures of Bhuddist temples.

Northernparent68 Thu 15-Sep-16 23:04:44

May be the family friend is being judgmental, got this wrong, over egging the tale

It could be the neighbour conversation is bravado, or he was trying to impress a soldier. even if he is going for sex, it does nt mean he's interested in young girls

sooperdooper Thu 15-Sep-16 23:09:32

What makes you assume he's specifically interested in young girls?

Yes, there is a huge sex industry issue in Thailand but it's not predominantly underage, there's also a massive amount of 'lady boy' and adult sex workers too

specialsubject Sun 16-Oct-16 14:25:19

Family friend may also assume that a man who pays for sex is also a paedophile.

Neither of you have any evidence of either, and there are other reasons to go to Thailand.

Strong supposition but nothing else. Stay away and keep kid away, but beyond that forget it. There is nothing else you can do.

MrsJayy Sun 16-Oct-16 14:31:21

Many men go to thailand to visit the bars etc he may have a thai girlfriend he visits that makes him seedy at best it does not make him a paedophile though you cannot report a man for going on holiday because you think it is unsavoury.

Stormwhale Sun 16-Oct-16 14:38:51

His thing could even be ladyboys.

Steve1970 Sun 12-Feb-17 04:44:49

Wow what a nasty thread. So based on the fact the guy is single and still lives at home with his parents in his 40s and chooses to holidsybinthailand it makes him at best a sleezy syphilis ridden sex fiend spending 6 weeks a year bangingbthai prostitutes but in the worse case scenario he is a child molester. All based on gossip and hearsay. Remember the creepy looking old bloke who the press and everyone thought had murdered that girl in bristol (Jo Yates) several years ago? He was guilty based upon his looks nd mannorisms wasnt he until he was proven totally innocent and the nice dutch architect with the americsn girlfirend was found guilty of killing her.

Missbohan Sun 12-Feb-17 05:01:30

I don't understand what you mean - 'is my neighbour a sex tourist?' Yeah probably - many men go to thailand and make full use of the sex industry over there. But that isn't a crime, or any of your business. If you're asking: does my neighbour prey on children for sex then you really need to ask your family friend to clarify his comment about keeping dd away from neighbour. Don't think anyone can offer any other insight without actually knowing anything at all about the guy.

neonrainbow Sun 12-Feb-17 05:17:00

He might just be going on holiday! Bloody hell id hate to live in your neighbourhood!

19lottie82 Tue 21-Feb-17 10:08:37

Wow. How judgemental and horrible.

You're basically calling this guy a peadophile based on the Chinese whispers of a building site!

I went to Thailand for 3 weeks every year for 4 years. Do you think I'm a sex tourist too?

Maybe the guy likes it over there because there are no neighbours and colleagues to gossip about him?

If you have bad feeling a about the guy then yes it's your right to keep your kid away from him but to report him to the authorities, get a grip.

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