Presents for Childrens Birthday Parties

[Karls88]

I won't have to worry about this for a few years yet as my DD is only 6 months old, but a conversation with my SIL this morning got me thinking.

Basically her and her OH are pretty hard up for cash and she asked to borrow money from me to get her OH a birthday present present (which I refused, if they both know they have no money then why feel the need to waste money on birthday present for each other) and also to get a present for a child in her sons class whose birthday he'd been invited to. So I gave her some for that.

This got me thinking. What happens if your child gets invited to umpteen birthdays by school children throughout the year and you have to fork out on presents for them all. Then your own child has a birthday in the school holidays. Are classmates less likely to come? Therefore they don't get anything back... I know you don't give presents to receive but this is the general idea I get from the whole kids parties thing.

Now I'm a little bit anti social. I don't know how these party invites work, but I assume that child passes invites out at school? I have no idea if my DD will want a birthday party when she's at school, but if she does (If shes not as unsociable as me) it's going to be very unlikely that I have contact details for all of those she would invite. How do you then go about arranging something in the summer? Just do it well before hand?

But also, how would you deal with this if you actually couldn't afford to buy a class full of kids birthday presents each year. Not everyone can afford it, but I can see it turning into a rather awkward social situation if you didn't.

As I said, I've got some time to go til this happens (although it'll probably be round quicker than I realise!) but I can't stop thinking about this now!

[SunnySomer]

It was only the first couple of years of school (in fact possibly only reception) where the entire class was invited for us. Children with birthdays in holidays either had a party before/after the holiday or had the party during the holiday but sent out invitations beforehand. Often children couldn't attend because they were away / but equally others were v grateful to have something to do for an afternoon.
Nobody tended to spend more than £5 per present per child in reception - you can get collections of books from the book people which work out a lot less than that.
I wouldn't stress about it quite yet!

[Karls88]

Haha, thanks. Don't think I'm stressing, but I do over think things.

My SIL's son is 4, so by giving her 20 quid I've clearly done myself out of at least a tenna there if you say they only spend £5 on average

She's a whole other story though rolls eyes

[SunnySomer]

I was just thinking.... Sometimes your child would be given a box of maltesers - no idea what that costs, maybe £2 - but it's totally irrelevant: child loves it, has absolutely no concept of cost only value (maltesers to my child had immense value!!), and - it could be I only spoke to nice people, but I never heard anyone be sneery about present value

[PennyHasNoSurname]

No way is £20 an appropriate amount for a schoolmates gift. Dear me!!

I usually pick up stuff in Wilkos sale (got an amazing set of soft mouse dolls like a little family, reduced from £8 to £2 so I bought four hahah). If not its a little bag of paints and stickers.

[Karls88]

I very much doubt she will spend 20 on a present. I suspect the rest will go to her BF, as it usually does when he knows she got money. She asked for 40 but I only gave her 20. Said it was all I had on me (lie). Just don't see why I should give her money which will either be spent on him, or he'll take, when none of the family really like him. I don't go to work to to give my money to him. I already do that by paying taxes.

[GasLightShining]

My DS birthday is during the summer hols. We used to have parties either in July before school broke up or September when they went back.

Normally spent about a fiver and would stock up from the sales