Hi
Prob ethically wrong but .....
am divorcing stbx.
He over the years ran up many many debts and I always ended up sorting out his mess. Even now I help him with his money .
Im organising the divorce and paying all the costs .
He still lives with his mother ( 2 yrs later ) and has once again not paid his cc bill - I know because for 18 months the letters were still coming here despite me doing everything to stop them.
Its never thro lack of money. He is basically lazy .
Its small amounts defaulted because he just doesn't pay .
He was being chased for a debt of 3000 from 20 years ago .
I sat him down and explained that he shouldn't acknowledge it unless he intended to pay it but that after 20 years he need not worry .
I asked him if hed thought about claiming for PPI on it - he never would as after 27 years I know him . he's lazy ! If someone did it for him .... well .
I asked him if hed mind if I did as it was I thought in joint names . He said he was fine with that but wont even remember the conversation.
Anyway I filled out the ppi form and they've offered me 3200 payable to the complainant - me .
Now I know I should give him half ( he will spend it unwisely when assuring his 4 dc he has been saving for a deposit to rent his own house for 2 yrs but takes new gf away regularly instead ). And I also know what he spends it on really is none of my business.
However Im paying out £4000 for divorce and financial settlement this month which will wipe out the last of my savings .
I have to watch everything we spend / save so we can move on .
Legally we can stay here until my youngest reaches 18, but I have said we ( I ) will sell the house so he can have his money he now and we can allstart afresh .
Now I have the children 95 % of the time- they go about once a month for a sleepover. Also supporting daughter at uni .
He does pay maintenance regularly and well.
My best friend said - oh for goodness sake just use it to the pay the solicitor then you will have spent it on something to help you both move forward .
I think I will which is ethically wrong but I really need the money I have saved for divorce in case the car or boiler etc breaks . I am very sensible with money and looking to be in a postion to sell the house so we can all make a new start .Unless I organise all this it just doesn't happen .
Posted also in divorce section , but should I just give him half and save again ?
Its so tempting to just pay the solicitor .
He's not short of money by the way - he doesn't pay his parents anything and is driving around in a brand new Mercedes and spending money like water - but I know that doesn't make it ethically right .
Thanks for reading
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Ethical dilemmas
Do i give stbx half the money ?
11 replies
darlingish · 13/01/2016 17:46
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