I was abused as a child/ young teenager by my brother in law and I have always been told by my parents to keep it quiet, for one reason or another. I have always gone through life thinking that in some way I was enjoying it, i must have been I was 15 when he finally left my Sister and it stopped, but I don't think I was, I loved him though but don't really know why. This is not making any sense. Anyway my Dad and Mum both caught him in my room on more than one occasion and they said I had to stop him from coming in and should never say anything as it would destroy my Sister, so I dutifully kept quiet for 30 years, I have brought it up with them on 2 occasions since I had children of my own and I was given the same line, he was very young (22) and I was 11, nearly 12 I should have stopped him when it first happened. If I were to rake it all up after all these years what would it gain and I did sort of think they were right at the time. Over the last year or so I have been working myself up to confronting him myself, face to face, not reporting him but just asking him why he thought he could touch me when I was such a young girl, but each time I went to his house I dare not go to the door so I have never done it so far. Now this morning he dropped dead on his kitchen floor and I don't know whether to be angry I didn't get a chance to tell him what he did was so horrible it has stuck with me for 30 years or whether to feel relieved that he has gone and will never do that to anyone else again. (I don't know that he did not touch any other girls) I have never told anyone but my Mum and Dad and I have lightly skirted over it with my Husband, but to be honest it embarrasess me when I think of it and what he did and I don't want people to know how weak I was, especially not my children, so that is the main reason I never reported him. I just wish that I had taken the opportunity to tell him what a C$%t he was when I was all grown up and he was his miserable alcoholic self, I just hope he fell into alcoholism because he couldn't live with his shame. Not sure why I have just written all of that, but it has got it off my chest a bit.
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Ethical dilemmas
Not sure how I should feel, my abuser has died.
15 replies
lulu6867 · 20/05/2013 17:05
OP posts:
pindorasbox ·
24/09/2013 14:21
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