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Using a child to ask this question

(6 Posts)
Itsallabout Sat 10-Nov-12 09:58:23

So,.I have cancer and a fairly bald head which is covered by scarves most of the time.

Today I went out for lunch with my Dh,Dd, Dmil and Dfil.

There was a group of women with their children sat close to us. I noticed them looking over several times. I took my Dd to the toilet and when we came out of the cubicle there were two girls approx 8-9 years old. I recognised the girls from the table close to us in the restaurant.

One of the girls said to me" My Mum wanted me to ask you if you are poorly or has hair just fallen out on it's own?"

I was a little taken aback but muttered my reply " if your Mum's want to know why I wear a scarf then maybe they can ask me themselves".

I left the toilets thinking, Why would you use your child to ask a question like that? My mind boggles at the strangness of folk

nancy75 Sat 10-Nov-12 10:05:09

That is just bloody rude, it's fairly obvious to any right thinking person that a woman wearing a scarf to cover hair loss probably won't want to talk about it to every person in the street, no matter what t he reason for the hair loss, some people really are clueless

Funnylittleturkishdelight Sat 10-Nov-12 10:17:40


Could have been she was asking the parent to ask you and the parent said no?? Either way- dreadful parenting. So sorry you experienced that.

Pi1978 Sat 10-Nov-12 10:22:23

It is very rude but maybe it wasn't instigated by the mum. At that age, the girls are probably old enough to know that it is rude to ask questions like that and possibly devious enough to blame it on someone else. Or it could be that the girls have asked about your hair and their mum has said something along the lines of, maybe she's poorly or it has fallen out by itself, if you want to know, you have to ask her. Neither are great scenarios certainly but are slightly better than the mother asking her children to be nosy on her behalf.

I hope your treatment goes well.

Goandplay Sat 10-Nov-12 10:23:42


They asked in front of your Dd as well...

I hope it didn't spoil your lunch.

Itsallabout Sat 10-Nov-12 10:34:02

I did wonder if the girls were just curious and the Mum's said if you want to know then ask her your-self. But If that were my daughter I would either explain reasons for possible hair loss or accompany my Dd to ask the question. The Mum's before hand did keep staring over and the girls followed us to the toilet which were tricky to find.

It didn't spoil lunch or upset me at all.

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