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Being left out of a will, feeling blue and confused

(238 Posts)
Newbizmum Tue 24-Jul-12 01:18:17

Our mother died some months ago and it appears there was a change to the will a couple of months before she died, leaving around 98% of the estate (£300k) to my brother and his child with my children and I receiving just a few thousand. Previously the wills of both our parents and then my mother left it 50/50 to my brother and me.

I'll be honest and say that since the somewhat unexpected death of our mother, there have been occasions when the mind has wandered down the road of thinking what we would do with any inheritance. I certainly have not been mentally allocating it for things but rather like a daydream about how you would spend a reasonable but not jackpot lottery win, things like private schooling, perhaps a larger house and so forth.

My brother was initially very communicative but then changed and now doesn't want to discuss it, simply pointing me in the direction of the solicitors. I obtained a copy of the will only after searching the Probate Registry as neither he nor the solicitor would give me a copy.

It had always been an equal split, even before any wills were written but I didn't really consider what would happen because I enjoyed my parents being alive. Reading the will the other day made me feel sick, like I have not felt since I cannot remember when. I feel somehow less loved, second rate, if that makes sense ?

Aside from the mismatch, it worries me that this change, via a codicil, is full of typing errors, spelling and grammatical mistakes and is simply printed on blank A4 paper. All the other wills and codicils were written by the solicitor.

Perhaps because I feel this way I have come to thinking that perhaps this codicil is not real or worse, has been concocted. It appears signed with a reasonable signature (not the clearest photocopy) but the witnesses were just people down the street. I do not even know if this was ever given over to the solicitor but I somehow doubt it as there is no sign of a receipt stamp, which it would surely have.

Do I feel cheated ? yes, in a way. I didn't think this situation would arise for at least another decade but I also always assumed everything was as it had been discussed.

I can't think how the family could be mended after this. If my brother takes it all then it will leave a bitter pill and yes, some pangs of jealousy, which I know to be bad but I can't deny it. I certainly don't feel like going cap in hand. Yet if the feelings surrounding this strange codicil do not diminish, am I prepared to take it further and ask my own solicitor to investigate ? I simply do not know.

I think I could have taken it, albeit it with a little disappointment, if my mother had said she wanted to leave everything to my brother but this seems totally out of character. Even sidestepping the inheritance percentages, I "know" my mother would not make up this codicil at home, she was far too particular to leave anything like that to chance and I cannot envisage her signing something so full of errors, she being a school teacher after all. She certainly could not have made it herself as she didn't know how to type and didn't have a computer or printer.

Sorry for the long post but I don't really know where to turn as my brother has seemingly cut me out of his life. Yet if it has been done without my mother's knowledge or intention, the repercussions would be terrible.

How do I get over this and get back to feeling how I did before ?

Sontagsleere Thu 05-Oct-17 11:34:43

OP how did you ever get on with this? I hope I am not dragging up something you’ve put behind you. I have visions of it going to the steps of courts then your brother finally settles as he realizes his lawyers were right all along to advise him to settle! I can’t think he thought he’d have a chance of success. In any event I do hope you got a resolution to such a stressful few years.

3luckystars Sun 25-Sep-16 14:40:00

Fascinating thread.

Wibblywobblyfoo Mon 12-Sep-16 19:54:01

Did this reach a resolution?

BoboBunnyH0p Tue 29-Mar-16 09:03:13

Late to the post, but this is awful I hope OP got the outcome they wanted.

NeuNewNouveau Sun 28-Feb-16 00:30:23

Any update OP? Hope it is resolving well.

HexBramble Tue 27-Oct-15 07:47:15

your, not you're

HexBramble Tue 27-Oct-15 07:45:51

OP I hope you're well. I was linked to your thread by another MN'er - I am making initial enquiries (or trying to) about what may now be 2 wills that have been altered after death by a relative of mine. It's very, very frightening that this can happen.

I hope you're battle is coming to some sort of conclusion. It must have taken quite an emotional and financial toll on you. Despicable really, since you are only seeking truth and honesty.

I am curious though about your Brother and his Wife. Have they had any communications with you throughout this ordeal?

howtorebuild Sat 17-Oct-15 21:45:15

Oh, I wanted to hear this Man was exposed.

ChopsticksandChilliCrab Sat 17-Oct-15 21:15:00

I was hoping for news too sad

notapizzaeater Sat 17-Oct-15 21:01:09

Oh I thought it had news too :-(.

cuntycowfacemonkey Sat 17-Oct-15 20:56:26

Oh that's a shame was hoping there was an update

countrygal1 Sat 17-Oct-15 20:54:18

Just to clarify - my previous message was supposed to be to SallyK66 about parents not wanting photos taken at a Hallowe'en event.

countrygal1 Sat 17-Oct-15 20:50:02

Can I suggest you start a new thread as your question really has nothing to do with this thread?

SallyK66 Wed 07-Oct-15 13:21:27

Hi - we are going to hold a Halloween Disco (we as in our tenant association) - we have a couple of children who's parents doesn't want their photos taking - I wondered if anyone had any ideas/suggestions on how we can identify the children who can't have their photos taken - without making it obvious to other children ?

countrygal1 Wed 05-Aug-15 12:25:14

I have just read your post and, though it is a long time since you wrote it, I'd be very interested in knowing what happened as it has some similarities with something close to home. I really hope that you were successful in regaining some of your mum's inheritance.

ScarlettSahara Tue 28-Jul-15 18:20:52

Hi Newbiz,
I was wondering if the chance to reach a fair settlement was successful or if you are now proceeding to court? I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. Fight on and don't lose heart x

mumcantmakeadecision Tue 28-Jul-15 15:25:14

Have you managed to settle this whole situation yet op?

IamtheDevilsAvocado Mon 27-Jul-15 18:31:28

New to thread:my oh my!

How utterly awful. I wish you well in your continuing battle. Hopefully right and integrity will out!

Swanmum3 Wed 08-Jul-15 20:40:06

Very new to this, only started today on NM. I found your thread via google search and could not believe I am in exactly the same situation as you are. My situation has been ongoing for 18 months. I am going to start my own blog regarding everything I have been going through. On reading your story I notice one post where you said you had the will forensically tested and the result came back in your favour? I cannot seem to be able to find the post again as I tried to reply and lost where I was. I am at the stage of having a forensic expert look at the will I am contesting. Hope you or someone can repost the message? I am also in early stages with newspapers, book editors so my story can be told as like you this is about justice and not the money. The fraud I have experienced is unbelievable. I can offer my sincere sympathy with what your going through and hope we can both find peace with our situations long term.

Chandler77 Thu 14-May-15 09:41:21

What makes this whole thing worse is the stress that I still can't find anything out about his will in black and white, and the Solicitor who is the executor has conveniently gone on holiday. I did pop into estate agents yesterday, to get property detail. And yes his house was put on market for £290k and they even had viewings yesterday, so they think it'll sell fairly quick. My worry is that the Probate has been granted, and this will all be swept under a massive rug and money distributed before any legal response can be made. I cannot work out why nothing is still with UK probate registry and it was send there ages ago. My other fear is my grandfather's previous will, that somehow my brother has hold of, will get destroyed by him. My sister has already denied it's contents, although brother accepts it's a 25% share ratio.

The whole thing stinks to high heaven. Tom called me the other day and was really obtuse saying "what's this I hear you are going to use and estoppel" I had no clue what he just said, he often uses words and jargon to show he's in charge. I told him straight what I was doing and seeing a solicitor and he better get his facts in order, and that I had spoken to Lloyds Bank about the fraud. He slammed phone down on me - calling me a liar. Truth is Rachel knew he had been robbing him blind.

lalalonglegs Wed 13-May-15 19:18:15

A sort of similar thing happened in our family: a widowed, quite wealthy (and slightly eccentric), childless great-aunt left the vast majority of her estate to the solicitor who drew up the will. Although my great-aunt was relatively well-educated, the will was written in very unidiomatic English (English was not the solicitor's first language) and it was all very suspicious. The bad news is that my mother and my aunt's other nieces and nephews went to court over it, the solicitor claimed that the will had been written by another solicitor and it was all a complete surprise to him that he inherited anything - he was believed...

I wish you luck, newbiz, but don't forget, if your brother is prepared to lie to you about this in the first place, he will be prepared to pull together all sorts of alibis to cover his tracks afterwards.

ScarlettSahara Wed 13-May-15 19:03:07

Sorry to hear that Chandler. It is truly horrible. Hope your solicitor can help. Hope your grandad wasn't put under duresse to change his will. I think if 2 siblings are left out questions would normally be asked.
Hope you can get somewhere with this. Maybe you can ask o.p for advice?��

Chandler77 Wed 13-May-15 17:07:29

OMG - this is a carbon copy of what is happening to me and my sister. My grandfather left the remainder, of his assets after funeral and conveyancing fees with solicitor originally to me, my two sisters and brother as a 25% equal split. In the last year out of the blue he totally re-wrote his will and now me and my sister have been written out totally, leaving the lions share to one sister and brother.

My brother has been royally taking the pisss out of my grandfather for years and had retained his chip and pin and bank account cashcard, spending his money carte blanché on his own financial affairs, and not on errans to grandfather. Also he had caused worry and stress on my grandfather requesting large sums for cars, which he would quickly get rid of making grandad feel very annoyed and miffed. He would take large sums from his account and grandad would moan that more money was missing, yet he would,kt ask for card back. I told him the cancel card, but he never did even though I gave him number to call.

Grandad has now made a rediculous will leaving everything 50/50 to my sister and this sponging brother. I feel very let down by Grandad, but it is so out of character to have done this, especially as he still stated I was to benefit from his esate at 25%. He had started to become very frail and doddery after a hip and shoulder replacement and his mental state was often passive, confused and agrovated in last few years, which is the period he re-wrote this offending will. My brother was even spending his cash the week he was gravely ill in hospital and my sister remarked to him, "your not spending his money are you" the day before his death, and which he went white and tried to shrug off suspicion, and truth is he was still spending after his death.

My brother and sister have kept tight lipped, and now probate has been granted, but still can't view will online yet. They have both shown their hand by stating they are going to take their share and leave me and my other sister out. My sister who is going to benefit has also said she'd rather not give me a gift of even £1000 so we can go on holiday and would rather pay that to her mortgage. Her share will be around £150-170k as well. She has become a vile person and Tom the fraudster is no better

I have seen a solicitor today and made it clear to offending brother and sister this fact. My sister who benefits from will is cryingg down phone to brother and he is acting all whollier than thou. The sister who benefits is so aweful, that she and her husband have said now they are worried that husband's mother will not leave anything to them now they have been awarded 50% of a £320k estate. That's how crass she is and her mother in law still has a pulse.

happylittlevegemites Sat 09-May-15 08:47:19

Good luck! It sounds like a real battle, I hope it reaches an end soon.

tribpot Wed 06-May-15 09:39:02

Wishing you all the best, newbiz.

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