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Being left out of a will, feeling blue and confused

(252 Posts)
Newbizmum Tue 24-Jul-12 01:18:17

Our mother died some months ago and it appears there was a change to the will a couple of months before she died, leaving around 98% of the estate (£300k) to my brother and his child with my children and I receiving just a few thousand. Previously the wills of both our parents and then my mother left it 50/50 to my brother and me.

I'll be honest and say that since the somewhat unexpected death of our mother, there have been occasions when the mind has wandered down the road of thinking what we would do with any inheritance. I certainly have not been mentally allocating it for things but rather like a daydream about how you would spend a reasonable but not jackpot lottery win, things like private schooling, perhaps a larger house and so forth.

My brother was initially very communicative but then changed and now doesn't want to discuss it, simply pointing me in the direction of the solicitors. I obtained a copy of the will only after searching the Probate Registry as neither he nor the solicitor would give me a copy.

It had always been an equal split, even before any wills were written but I didn't really consider what would happen because I enjoyed my parents being alive. Reading the will the other day made me feel sick, like I have not felt since I cannot remember when. I feel somehow less loved, second rate, if that makes sense ?

Aside from the mismatch, it worries me that this change, via a codicil, is full of typing errors, spelling and grammatical mistakes and is simply printed on blank A4 paper. All the other wills and codicils were written by the solicitor.

Perhaps because I feel this way I have come to thinking that perhaps this codicil is not real or worse, has been concocted. It appears signed with a reasonable signature (not the clearest photocopy) but the witnesses were just people down the street. I do not even know if this was ever given over to the solicitor but I somehow doubt it as there is no sign of a receipt stamp, which it would surely have.

Do I feel cheated ? yes, in a way. I didn't think this situation would arise for at least another decade but I also always assumed everything was as it had been discussed.

I can't think how the family could be mended after this. If my brother takes it all then it will leave a bitter pill and yes, some pangs of jealousy, which I know to be bad but I can't deny it. I certainly don't feel like going cap in hand. Yet if the feelings surrounding this strange codicil do not diminish, am I prepared to take it further and ask my own solicitor to investigate ? I simply do not know.

I think I could have taken it, albeit it with a little disappointment, if my mother had said she wanted to leave everything to my brother but this seems totally out of character. Even sidestepping the inheritance percentages, I "know" my mother would not make up this codicil at home, she was far too particular to leave anything like that to chance and I cannot envisage her signing something so full of errors, she being a school teacher after all. She certainly could not have made it herself as she didn't know how to type and didn't have a computer or printer.

Sorry for the long post but I don't really know where to turn as my brother has seemingly cut me out of his life. Yet if it has been done without my mother's knowledge or intention, the repercussions would be terrible.

How do I get over this and get back to feeling how I did before ?

Aridane Sat 10-Nov-18 22:49:04

At least you tried


Standstrong Thu 12-Dec-19 13:38:18

I have just read this whole thread. I am from Australia and I have not long finished battling my brothers for a share of my fathers estate. Like you I cannot believe how many others this has happened to.
I found this site because I googled "how do I get over being left out of my fathers will?". All your story popped up and I couldn't stop reading.
My case was different in that my brothers didn't alter dads will in any way, but they knew about it for 20 years and kept it secret from me. Also the estate was worth several million dollars as it involved farms and thousands of acres of land.
It took 3 years, but I won, we went to the Supreme Court of Australia in September. Like you I had to find the money to fight them (re-drew from my home equity). The looked like fools in court- I was so glad I fought it out to the bitter end. I got almost a third of Dads estate. like you I'm a single mother and the whole experience has been totally heartbreaking.
No one in my family speaks to me anymore except one female cousin. I had a close and loving relationship with my Dad for my whole life and I have never done anything wrong by my family. But- Im not a farmer, so I miss out (mind you I was never told this).
Many people think that this is all about money and greed (the refusal to accept the will I mean). But its not, I have won but the pain is still there, I worry it will consume me.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you and I'm glad you know the truth- and your brother knows you know and no matter what he does that will haunt him all his days.
If you ever get to come to Australia, send me a message, it'd be great to meet you.

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