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OMG...childcare mentally damages children!!

(96 Posts)
Doesmybumlookbiginthiss Sun 15-Apr-12 18:45:06

Just found this site, ok it is actively encouraging stay at home mums but it has complied a list of scientific evidence from many different areas to back their claims up.

Site here:

The research offered up states that:

Nursery children arrive at school with bad attitude
High working hours lead to family breakdown
Children under three are clearly better off being cared for by their mothers.
Daycare increases maternal employment but not family income
Children in daycare from infancy are less compliant, more aggressive and more likely to have behavioural problems.
Mothers going back to work early leads to slower emotional development in their children
Children in daycare from infancy are less compliant, more aggressive and more likely to have behavioural problems.
Away from mother’s care between 1-5 increase chances of problems later in life
and more!!!

Its such a scary read but so much of my instinct tells me it is true.

Thoughts anyone?

giraffesCantFitInThePalace Fri 29-Jun-12 15:03:39

40% of children who go to nursery for more than 6.2 hours will dye their hair without their parents consent when they reach teenage years.

Snorbs Fri 29-Jun-12 15:03:27

As I understand it, early years childcare is incredibly common in many Scandanavian countries. Their societies seem to be doing pretty well.

jolina Fri 29-Jun-12 14:56:50

I'm a sahm but my mum put me into childminders care then nursery then school then after school clubs, summer clubs etc etc.

The childminder - She once arrived an hour early to pick up my brother and I and found my brother in his buggy, shoes and jacket on, sleeping - Over 1 hour before pick up time!

Everything else - as a shy child I always hid behind my mum, clinged onto her even around family events... up until I was around 13! lol

I hated school - both primary and secondary - I experienced a bit of bullying, I was left out alot, found it hard to make friends etc

After school clubs - the women working there told my mother on countless occassions that it was obvious I didn't enjoy being there! Eventually she took us out of it and allowed us to walk down the road from school to grandmas house.

Whilst at secondary school sometimes we would come home to empty house, I started truanting and would be scared to go home in case mum was home early...

My daughter is 3, I have left her in the care of others only a few times in her entire life for an hour or two - with her grandparents always, as I don't trust anyone else!
I am really dreading sending her to nursery but I am being pressured into it by everyone.

I had an idea to homeschool her as I am religious and I don't feel there are any suitable schools nearby, the ones that are close to being suitable are fee paying schools.. However I mention the idea and was completely laughed at by everyone.

I feel like there is ALOT of pressure to do things the done way - fobbing children off on others, whereas I want to be there for my children where no one was there for me..

I think it's all very personal decisions to make everyone will do things differently we all had different experiences etc..

Xenia Sat 16-Jun-12 21:50:01

The children of working parents do better. Most recent studies prove this. Housewives damage children. Get back to work. We need many more women in positions of power. It is bad for everyone if you stay home.

ButtonBoo Sat 16-Jun-12 21:47:20

<pops head back in to see if the arguments still raging>

Friday night entertainment!!

GetOrfMoiiLand Sat 16-Jun-12 10:53:29

This isn't an ethical dilemma, fatarse.

If you wanted a debate you should have osoted some decent links rather than to a site with an agenda.

happydotcom Sat 16-Jun-12 10:34:09

What a load of shite.

Aboutlastnight Mon 23-Apr-12 18:04:51

Mine has been going since she was too and is mad as a bag of ferrets

MrsHelsBels74 Mon 23-Apr-12 17:12:33

My son has been going to nursery since he was just over 1 year old & a happier, more confident, sociable little boy you couldn't find (except at the moment when he's tantrumming!) it's just another dig to get mothers to feel crap about their parenting choices....seems whatever you do is wrong.

LunaticFringe Tue 17-Apr-12 10:57:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spero Tue 17-Apr-12 10:41:08

I am still eager for the op to come back and explain to me how this top flight research has definitively shown that children under three are always better off with their mothers.

There are lots of local authorities with massive holes in their budgets who will no doubt be overjoyed to learn they can now drop most of their very expensive care proceedings.

UsedtobeYummy Tue 17-Apr-12 10:19:32

My children have never been to day care or nursery, I loathe them, but I made my choices and I am delighted with them. They all went to an amazing pre school from 2ish. I don't really care what anyone else does.

edam Tue 17-Apr-12 10:14:52

btw, I have interviewed MNers for articles - I identified myself as a journalist, explained what the feature would be and asked politely.

edam Tue 17-Apr-12 10:12:52

It's rather tiresome, the way some posters shout 'journalist' at anyone who makes a daft comment, or starts a daft thread. I am a journalist, as are many people who are on this site because we are mothers and enjoy a natter as much as anyone else. In the early days every other poster was a hack - probably has something to do with the founders being in the same line of work.

I really can't see what purpose this thread would serve for a news story or feature. Most journalists are reasonably bright. If you were thick as two short planks, you wouldn't be able to work out what was going on or what the story was. Some journalists can be manipulative but ffs, stupid threads are NOT commonly the work of journalists, no more than they are the work of accountants or insurance brokers.

FunnysInLaJardin Mon 16-Apr-12 17:09:03

do you know what I am sure this has been done to death over the years. OP makes it sound revolutionary. Stop trying to cause an argument.

Spero Mon 16-Apr-12 17:06:17

Ok op, riddle me this.
When my daughter went to school in Brixton, a Kids Company mini bus stopped off most afternoons to take six of her classmates off to activities. These weren't the children in care. These were the children living with their mums (who were probably very close to being taken into care).

You cannot simply blithely state that every child under three is better off with their mother. Motherhood comes in many different styles and shapes. Children need good, consistent, safe care. For at least half my daughters class mates, sadly they were NOT getting that from their mothers.

TheThingUpstairs Mon 16-Apr-12 12:46:56

Sounds like a pile of bobbins to me.

ivykaty44 Mon 16-Apr-12 12:28:16

The answers are not on the site and you still haven't answered why you repeat your argument hmm

dietstartstmoz Mon 16-Apr-12 10:03:35

Its a load of old bollocks, my children went to nursery 3 days a week, and my eldest is gifted and talented in literacy, the sweetest gentlest boy, no aggression at all, funny, kind, thoughtful and a general superstar. He loved nursery and the staff loved him. It was great. OP it's a load of crap and I will assume you are a journalist looking for a story. If you were a mother who had to go back to work or shock horror, wanted to go back to work to reclain a little bit of you, or return to a professional job you had worked and studied a long time for, or just to pay the bills you would not be on MN with this crap. HTH!

ragged Mon 16-Apr-12 09:55:14

How come, out of my 3 older children, the only outright aggressive one is the child who had the least proff childcare? confused

There are references with other conclusions to look at, if you're truly open-minded:

"...pre-school can play an important part in combating social exclusion and promoting inclusion by offering disadvantaged children, in particular, a better start to primary school."

"High quality child care appears to provide a small boost to academic performance, perhaps by fostering the early acquisition of school readiness skills."

High quality Preschools result in higher achievement at school.

"...child care is not a substitute for home care, but rather provides children with experiences in a different setting".

Doesmybumlookbiginthiss Mon 16-Apr-12 09:21:54

ivy...I suggest you go to the site and take some time to read the research is obvious that you haven't.

FamiliesShareGerms Mon 16-Apr-12 09:20:48

Sorry, OP, maybe I'm missing something but I don't see the ethics of deciding whether to use childcare or not. There are lots of other considerations (personal, financial, societal...) and there may be ethical issues (nurseries paying minimum wage to workers in central London, for example) but the decision on whether one parent stays at home rather than work doesn't raise any ethical concerns for me.

larrygrylls Mon 16-Apr-12 09:01:45

Everyone has different "common sense" about this issue!

DialMforMummy Mon 16-Apr-12 08:58:21

Just because it says "research" does not mean it is reliable or that the findings are universally true. I find it baffling that people take what has been found in some "research" as gospel.
Whatever happened to common sense?

larrygrylls Mon 16-Apr-12 08:56:32

Well, it is a valid question and no reason why it cannot be debated. To pretend all childcare options are automatically equal or to assume that childcare is never a compromise between a child's needs and their parents needs is ridiculous. People should be allowed to research it and come to informed opinions. Of course, the problem is that it is close to impossible to exclude other variables from this kind of research.

My own instinct is that child care factories (and some of the nurseries that I have seen are close to this) are not good for young children. However, I cannot see how it could matter whether a child was at home with its mother, father, grandparent, nanny or even a caring childminder without too many mindees. I can say that our 2.10 year old is even now tired after his 3 hours of pre school nursery and needs to come home and relax with his family for at least a while.

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