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OMG...childcare mentally damages children!!

(96 Posts)
Doesmybumlookbiginthiss Sun 15-Apr-12 18:45:06

Just found this site, ok it is actively encouraging stay at home mums but it has complied a list of scientific evidence from many different areas to back their claims up.

Site here:

The research offered up states that:

Nursery children arrive at school with bad attitude
High working hours lead to family breakdown
Children under three are clearly better off being cared for by their mothers.
Daycare increases maternal employment but not family income
Children in daycare from infancy are less compliant, more aggressive and more likely to have behavioural problems.
Mothers going back to work early leads to slower emotional development in their children
Children in daycare from infancy are less compliant, more aggressive and more likely to have behavioural problems.
Away from mother’s care between 1-5 increase chances of problems later in life
and more!!!

Its such a scary read but so much of my instinct tells me it is true.

Thoughts anyone?

Astr0naut Sun 15-Apr-12 19:24:02

Oh well, that's my dcs fucked then.

NannyPlumIsMyMum Sun 15-Apr-12 19:24:36

And I say that as a SAHM ! I hate this kind of wind up material from attention seekers.

mummybare Sun 15-Apr-12 19:27:45

I have read a book (How Not To F*ck Them Up, by Oliver James, seeing as you ask...) that claims 1:1 responsive care for children under the age of 3 is the best way to ensure healthy emotional development. It does say that this could be from a mother, father, grandparent or someone totally unrelated, as long as the care is responsive.

I'm not sure how I feel about that or how it will affect my parenting choices in the future (I'm currently on maternity leave), but just thought I'd throw it out there...

Doesmybumlookbiginthiss Sun 15-Apr-12 19:29:34

Thankyou Sirzy, Silvermachine and HereIgo for your measured, balanced and informative replies.

Doesmybumlookbiginthiss Sun 15-Apr-12 19:33:58

oh and mummybare too. Thanks I appreciate your input. As to the rest of the comments...It does appear that to even raise this issue causes so much vitriol and personal attack that many are so blinded by their emotions that they cannot string together a reasonable argument without resorting to personal sad.

BornToShopForcedToWork Sun 15-Apr-12 19:34:08

I feel for the little boy I look after, let's hope he is not in prison by the time he turns 18.

My employer who doesn't have an anger studied at Cambridge and is a lawyer. Guess what? She had a nanny too. Not only turns she out to be a wonderful person, a great employer - no she is also a wonderful and caring mother.

I look after my mindee 60h a week, I truly adore him and we do lots of activities. Don't see why that would harm.

What a lot of rubbish!

joanofarchitrave Sun 15-Apr-12 19:34:51

Can I thoroughly recommend this absolutely side-splitting email dialogue (here) between one of the members of Full-Time Mothers and one of the organisers, about the difficulty of attending meetings of Full-Time Mothers if you are, er, a full-time mother?

Particularly hilarious is the question as to whether 'Daddy could take a day off work' to look after the children to allow the member to attend the meeting. Apparently although her partner 'fully supports' the aims of Full-Time Mothers, it's not possible for him to take some time off work. Because his work is obviously much too important.

If parents are going to play a part in public/community life - and I think it's vital that they do - childcare is going to be shared among the community. I think it's a good thing that childcare can be paid (albeit poorly). Parents have always worked, childcare has always been shared out. The alternative is children working alongside their parents, tbh, or out in the streets for days on end. That's what used to happen. Thank your lucky stars that childcare in this country is so good and work to make it better, not to ban it completely!

ElephantsAreMadeOfElements Sun 15-Apr-12 19:35:56

What is the size of the measured effect? For example, if children who had been in FT childcare were consistently 0.01% less compliant, 0.02% more aggressive and 0.015% more likely to have behavioural problems then the research would show that they were "less compliant, more aggressive and less likely to have behavioural problems", but it wouldn't be an effect that any sane parent would be losing sleep over.

Also most of your points duplicate each other, just to make a longer list.

Also I bet you a quarter pound of licquorice allsorts that the site makes no mention of the well-respected and comprehensive Columbia University study from a couple of years ago that found no ill effects whatsoever. Does it?

So much of my instinct tells me it is bollocks, and bollocks-with-an-agenda at that. And I speak as a SAHM.

joanofarchitrave Sun 15-Apr-12 19:36:02

Oops, sorry, you never suggested banning it blush

KenDoddsDadsDog Sun 15-Apr-12 19:38:44

My mam was a SAHM AND I went to nursery part time.
I'm fucked psychologically but I have a great career. Who should I blame?

ElephantsAreMadeOfElements Sun 15-Apr-12 19:38:53

By the way, do your children watch television? Because if so I suggest staying away from most of the research on the effects of that. If you find childcare research scary, TV research will reduce you to a gibbering shadow of your former self.

BillyBollyBandy Sun 15-Apr-12 19:38:54

One of your point is that dc's in childcare are less compliant. Good. I don't want my dc's to be compliant. I want them to think for themselves and challenge where appropriate. I have 2 lovely independant happy little girls wh go to nursery 2 days a week. Part of their confidence and independence has come from that nursery.

ContinentalKat Sun 15-Apr-12 19:40:15

OMG... anybody can publish anything on the internet!

ToothbrushThief Sun 15-Apr-12 19:43:00

I will try to string together a reasonable argument without being patronising

Actually no I can't because your original post presents such wooly research that it only merits insults

OMG...lack of work mentally damages women!!

Spero Sun 15-Apr-12 19:43:30

Sadly, as no one was offering to pay my mortgage or buy me food, I worked full time when my daughter was 7 months old. She seems ok. She isn't aggressive.

But given that she spent her time in nursery playing with her friends and rolling around in torn up newspaper (she liked this) and wasn't stitching footballs in some sweatshop, or worse, I couldn't give a flying fuck about your research.

She has already had a better life than 99.9% of children on this planet. and that is the rather more shocking statistic that I wish more of you Atwood dystopian wannabes would get worked up about.

Doesmybumlookbiginthiss Sun 15-Apr-12 19:50:57

oooo...insults in an ethics lowbrow...I just pointed out a source of information and how it made me feel bad.

NannyPlumIsMyMum Sun 15-Apr-12 19:51:10

It's not sad at all.
You posting this all over mumsnet and dadsnet is sad.

MollyMurphy Sun 15-Apr-12 19:52:14

Barely concealed attempt to start a bun fight and patronize mums with kids in nursary......hmm

Someone with more motivation could link to any number of reports that say good nursary can be positive for a child's development and future achievement in school.

AnaisB Sun 15-Apr-12 19:54:41

I would read the original research and not someone else's selected high (low) lights. Last time I did that the results were pretty mixed, but I can't be bothered to do it again. (Also bare in mind that much of the research is from America where children typically start daycare much earlier and lots of states have low carer:child ratios.)

Aboutlastnight Sun 15-Apr-12 19:54:56

The research doesn't back any of this website up.

But well done for promoting it hmm

loopydoo Sun 15-Apr-12 19:55:24

Well - all I know is that I have stayed at home since the birth of dd (10) and ds(7) and what thanks have I got for it from them - zilch!

They are the fussiest eaters, have huge tantrums, want everything they're not allowed and think they are my equal and can make demands 24/7.

I think they would have been far better behaved and balanced if they had been in child care and I had gone back to work for at least some of the week.

There are pros and cons to all situations but I truly believe that childcare does not mentally harm children - as long as they have the appropriate care when they're at home with their parent/s.

racingheart Sun 15-Apr-12 19:58:11

There are so many variables for each family. It is impossible to know how true such research can be. I remember reading that bestseller The secrets of Happy Children, which in one breath said mummy and only mummy should raise a child, anything else leads to schizophrenia (I exaggerate but, y'know...) Next breath it said we should all be like some village in Patagonia where the whole village raises the kids who never see their parents from dawn to dusk as they roam free, cared for by others.

I really do loathe scaremongering research. (Speaking as a mum who chose to stay at home and be with her children.) I watch children all around who I've known from birth, with all different kinds of upbringing, and there's no empirical evidence that the ones who went to childminders or nurseries fare less well.

What probably does make a difference is levels of stress at home. Better to have a happy working mum and enough money in the home than a depressed mum tied to the stove and freaking out about bills.

Each family has its own best way to manage life. As long as we all take responsibility for what that is, we can ditch generalisations that demonise.

Aboutlastnight Sun 15-Apr-12 20:00:38

It's a non debate for many, many families as childcare/having to stay at home is a fact of life due to family finances.

Spero Sun 15-Apr-12 20:01:55

It made you feel bad eh? Good thing you don't read any wider than dodgy Internet sites about relentlessly parochial first world 'problems' or your head would probably explode.

HSMM Sun 15-Apr-12 20:03:01

I am a Childminder and if the children in my care started school with a bad attitude, then I'm sure I wouldn't be getting references from their reception teachers when parents are looking for childcare!

The children in my care learn to be compliant, because they have to adapt to taking turns with both babies and older children.

The children learn to experience and enact a broad range of emotions in their home environment and at my house. They are actively encouraged to express these emotions, so I can't see how this slows their emotional development.

Not sure about later life yet, because I have only been doing this for 12 yrs so far.

Of course I'm biased, because I'm a childcare provider, but ...

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