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I think we're in trouble

(29 Posts)
LosingIt Wed 03-Aug-05 12:01:08

I'm a regular poster, but changed my name for this. Some of you may work out who I am, but I dont want dh to find it.

I think we're in Financial meltdown. He lost his job at the end of June, has turned down two permanent offers cos he didn't feel he'd settle in them, and is trying to get a contract now.
I've just been given early end of my contract.

We're going on holiday in Sept. Paid for it last month, cos I was confident dh would get something, and I didn't know mine was going to end. We're having major work done on the house, which was started in June. It needs to be finished, will have to be paid for.

I'm looking for work to start when my contract finishes, but daren't look for full-time in case dh does land a contract, meanwhile, contracts are thin on the ground, an interview he had arranged for today has been cancelled (no reason), he feels like he couldn't get arrested, never mind a job.

Suddenly I'm scared. DH has never been unemployed before, always been able to move into a job within days. We've never been seriously short of money before, but I can see our savings are all committed now, and by the time we get back from hols in Oct. we will be done for.

Of course we're starting to argue, cos we're both worried.
I can't talk to any 'real people' about it (Haven't told my mum dh isn't working yet).

We both need to find lucrative temporary work until the summer is over, which allows for child-care. DH and I have no skills except I.T., where we have over 35 years of experience between us.

Prepared to do anything (except let dh go to the middle-east).

Am I over worrying? Anyone got any ideas for making serious money, quickly? How quickly do you go bankrupt?

essbee Wed 03-Aug-05 12:03:23

Message withdrawn

Gobbledigook Wed 03-Aug-05 12:04:02

My dh is an IT recruitment consultant - could that be helpful?

LosingIt Wed 03-Aug-05 12:08:49

Yes, dh is just as aware as I am, although I'm the one checking the bank statements, writing cheques for the plumber etc.

Gobbdigook, maybe some help. of course we're checking all the job sites daily, dh is applying for anything going that he's qualified for (applied for 5 on Monday), but responses are either slow or non-existent. Which agency? Can dh send a speculative C.V.?

mandyc66 Wed 03-Aug-05 12:10:37

I think you need to take a deep breath and hen sit down and talk.
Make a plan of action. Any job will do untill you find the right one. Register with loads of agencies. You can get help (I think) with childcare from the government. Have you applied for child tax credit etc and told them of your change in income. Wont be a lot but might help.
Try to think of positive things and enjoy your holiday..its paid for now!!

LosingIt Wed 03-Aug-05 12:12:16

Oops sorry about the mis-spelling GobbLEdigook!!

I know people will think we're irresponsible, paying for our holiday when we did, but it's our first one in 6 years, we've had dreadful bad luck over such a long time, we were soooo looking forward to it.

We're not usually feckless

batters Wed 03-Aug-05 12:14:59

LosingIt, how stressful for you all .

Have you sat down and done a real analysis of your finances? So you know exactly where you are, and what needs paying etc?

If so and you really have no money left from October onwards (is that right or have I misinterpreted??) then please, please try and don't panic. Easier said than done I know, I really do, my dp has been made redundant 4 times. Contact your mortgage lenders and explain the situation. Ask if you can freeze payments for a month or so. Would that help do you think?

Re new jobs and childcare, perhaps one of you (gulp) should try and find flexible work that allows for childcare whilst the other simply looks for any suitable job? Sorry I don't know how appropriate that is, or if you are looking at childcare for babies or school age children.

Finally if your dh does know your financial situation and has already turned down two permanent job offers, I think TBH he is being an ar*e (not helpful but there you go). Does he know how seriously worried you are? However it does bode well that he is getting job offers. And it could very well be that something comes up very soon for either one or both of you. I hope so.

Gobbledigook Wed 03-Aug-05 12:16:41

No worries!

I'll ask him what the best thing to do is when he gets in (regarding CV etc) - he's just taken the boys out (I'm working - so sorry if I keep disappearing - I'm only popping in for 'boredom breaks'!).

LosingIt Wed 03-Aug-05 12:21:03

Batters

I think he was an ar*e too, but he wanted something he thinks he can stick with for a while, having made a wrong choice with the last job (which only lasted 6 months).

If he's offered one now, I'm sure he'd take it (wouldn't dare not to), although he'd rather get a contract for 6 - 12 months, altho that would mean him working away Mon-Fri.


I daren't comment about him turning the other jobs down, because the last thing I need right now is for us to have a major row. We're already at the bickering stage.

expatinscotland Wed 03-Aug-05 12:23:17

You need to have a REAL think about this.

You want to talk about panic? We suddenly lost £3500 worth of income - a LOT of money to us - in just a month b/c of a tax credit fiasco.

Forget holidays or having work done on a house, we were looking at being unable to pay rent and council tax and still be able to eat. DH had to take a job, ANY job that would fit around childcare commitments. Not the ideal he wanted, but nor is bankrupcy or homelessnes or CCJs/bailiffs/collections agencies.

I hate to have to say this, but sometimes finances force our hand and we have to take jobs/gigs/whatever that aren't our top choice to keep us going for a bit till something better becomes available.

Next job he gets, I'd encourage him to look past his own feelings and take it for the time being. It's easier to get a job once you have a job.

Have you seen an agency yet? Darling, if you're really that skint, take what you can get, even if it's full time. It's a luxury to turn jobs down b/c of what may or may not happen to your DH in the near future, and if you're really going to be scraping the bottom of the barrel in just two months, it's a luxury you can ill afford.

Remember, it's easier to make temporary adjustments - such as childcare - when you have money to do it rather than trying to magic money out of nowhere when you have none coming in. And that if it's a contract it's just that - temporary.

Aside from a lotto jackpot or selling a second property you may have, the only way I can think of to make 'serious' money quickly is to get working and get working fast.

Best of luck!

LosingIt Wed 03-Aug-05 12:31:57

I will do anything, and have some usable skills (book-keeping, VAT, payroll, Windows Support), and I'm fairly sure I can get Something, but not enough to keep us.

DH doesn't have anything transferrable (programmer) so will find it difficult to find anything other than full time. If he gets a contract and needs to go away, I don't want to have committed myself to a full-time job. I know I won't cope with being a 'single mum' and full-time job (I know lots of you do, but I'm useless.

Blu Wed 03-Aug-05 12:33:32

I can see why you are so worried - and sorry to hear about the early end of your contract.

This seems the moment to take the first lifeboat that comes along. If I were you, I would include f/t jobs alongside p/t. The if DH gets a job you can always re-nehgotiate, or leave!

Is it worth your DH going back to the jobs he turned down and seeing if they stillneed anyone? He could say he is now unexpectedly available...

Can you go and talk to your martgage company NOW about your situation (i.e before you reach a position where you can't make a payment) and discuss a payment break or lowered payments? or re-mortgage?

Take a lodger?
Rent your house out while you are away?

mumtosomeone Wed 03-Aug-05 12:37:20

dont think you are useless. Take whatever job you can thenadjust when and if nescessary!
Any job that keeps bread on the table.
It is suprising how little you can live on.believe me!!

Blu Wed 03-Aug-05 12:42:55

I honestly think you are worrying about too many hypothetical ifs and buts.

If you get a f/t job, then that keeps the wolf from the door immediately. If DH then gets a job, and you feel you must work out your notice, or stay long enough to negotiate a p/t position, you can use the two incomes to bank-roll some extra childcare for a few months. In any case, DH might get a job on your doorstep, and then you would have turned down a job for a non-existent reason! If you have a f/t job, then DH might be more at libery to accept p/t or short contracts knowing that you have staedy guaranteed income - and providing some stability for the kids.

Somethings's got to give - and it would be best all round if it wasn't you giving up your house to the IR or baliffs!

LosingIt Wed 03-Aug-05 12:48:37

You're right Blu, the reason I chose this name is that I'm panicing somewhat (alright, panicing big-time).

I guess I need to start trawling the local agencies with my CV.

Blackduck Wed 03-Aug-05 12:51:27

Losingit....have you tried www.plainwords.co.uk? Authoring website - may have something (sorry if teaching you to suck eggs...

LosingIt Wed 03-Aug-05 12:54:55

Cheers Blackduck, off there now.

MrsDoolittle Wed 03-Aug-05 13:19:04

Is your holiday insured should you have to cancel it? Maybe you could claim on the grounds of redundancy?

LosingIt Wed 03-Aug-05 13:30:12

Um, I don't think the insurance would pay out. Dh agreed to resign from his last job , and we paid the final payment after that anyway.

Actually, I'm sitting here at work, starting to get rather angry with him, which I've been keeping a lid on up until now. It isn't really all his fault, he was VERY unhappy in his last job, and he's not used to being 'unwanted'. He had to choose between two last time, and only picked the one he did so he didn't have to go away from home.

I guess some of this is just down to the time of year. But I do feel very insecure about our situation.

runtus Wed 03-Aug-05 13:48:57

Have him take a look at http://www.freelancers.net...loads of freelance programming projects

jura Wed 03-Aug-05 15:01:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blu Wed 03-Aug-05 17:34:48

It does sound as if your DH has been a bit drama-queeny. It's one thing being unhappy, but it's another to leave a job without another on offer when you have a family, house renovation and holiday to support! That's water under the bridge, EXCEPT that it leves you with 'feelings' at a time when you are under pressure.
Would it help to talk this through with him? Some acknowledgement between you of how anxious you are, and hopefully the fact that he is now prepared to do what he can to sort things out, might help you suport each other through it all?

mumtosomeone Thu 04-Aug-05 08:01:39

dont cancel you hols. you have worked hard for them and it will give you space to think

LosingIt Mon 08-Aug-05 12:56:04

Okay, a brief update in case anyone is interested.

DH applied for 8 contracts & 2 perms last week. only had a response for 1 so far, who want to interview him, although not until 22nd Aug !!!! He trawls the websites every morning for new vacancies

My contract here ends next week. I've applied for several jobs, and looking for contracts, but I'm trying to stay local. I don't see dh as a stay-at-home father with me away somehow.

We won't cancel the holiday, cos we wouldn't get our money back anyway, and I would resent dh dreadfully if we didn't go. Might have to be careful in the bar and on excursions tho'

I know we will get thru this. Just wish I didn't have to ASK dh to mow the lawn, clean his car etc while I'm at work. You'd think he'd be falling over himself to do things around the house, given the circumstances.

At least he cooks every night.

jura Mon 08-Aug-05 14:42:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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