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Peeved need a rant after an hour sulking

(20 Posts)
MascaraOHara Thu 21-Jul-05 12:51:49



most of you probably know that I'm a single mum and don't have a v good relationship with his father to say the least.

My folks are really good and have dd a lot when I need them too. But I have a 3 day meeting away whilst my parents are on hols, I orginally tunred down the invite due to not having childcare.

Now I'm going to have to go. What am I going to do?!?! I could ask boyf to have her but he doesn't even live with us so feel a bit out of order!

They have hinted that they may be able to give some financial help if that's what is required but my dd has only just turned 3 and I can hardly employ a nanny who she has never met just for 3 days can I!!! bloody hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MascaraOHara Thu 21-Jul-05 13:02:53

Oh well at least I feel a bit better.

I want to be a teacher. How much do they earn?

dejags Thu 21-Jul-05 13:06:07

Mascara, could you take DD & your boyfriend/nanny with you. They could stay in the hotel in the day and perhaps do some stuff while you are in meetings?

oliveoil Thu 21-Jul-05 13:08:12

How can they say you HAVE to go if you usual childcare is not available?

MascaraOHara Thu 21-Jul-05 13:08:35

Lol I can't afford a nanny! If they paid me what I was worth I wouldn't have a problem!

If boyf looks after her it would be better for him to stay at home, that way she could go to nursery and all he'd really have to do would be get her up and put her to bed. Keep in mind that the boy can't even cook!!!

I can just see dd running rings round him and screaming all the time - he really wouldn't have a clue what to do

WideWebWitch Thu 21-Jul-05 13:09:26

Dejags' suggestion sounds good. Or you just can't go. They can't MAKE you, surely. And anyway, why aren't you looking for the £20 payrise job?

WideWebWitch Thu 21-Jul-05 13:10:12

You can't inflict that on him or her really. You just can't go unless they come with you. Your employers absolutely cannot insist, it's unreasonable.

MascaraOHara Thu 21-Jul-05 13:10:42

They haven't said that and my boss was very good when he was explaining to me but... I know I have to go his boss is the one who is making the request, he takes no prisoners. Well go or just except that I'm not going to get to where I want to be!

Easy Thu 21-Jul-05 13:10:45

When is this meeting?
Is it in the UK?
Can you arrange for childcare at the venue, rather than at home (for example, if it's in london it should be fairly easy to get an agency nanny for daytimes, I would have thought.)

MascaraOHara Thu 21-Jul-05 13:12:20

bollocks!! any other week of the sodding year but no it has to be that week and the other side of the bloody country (literally)

MascaraOHara Thu 21-Jul-05 13:13:00

sorry posts aren't making sense! missing out sentences and punctuation not good at the best of times!

MascaraOHara Thu 21-Jul-05 13:21:43

Ok so I think I have the following options

Ask boyf and put him into a intensive training programme with trial runs
Ask my best mate who works fulltime and has no children of her own but does have a boyfriend who is a father and who my dd adores
Ask my boyfs mum if dd could possibly stay there for a few days, again would need some trial runs
Swallow my pride and ask her paternal grandparents (very last option)
Pay somebody she already knows from her nursery to act as a nanny for the 3 days

non are ideal and not sure which I'd prefer might test the water with bezzie mate but it's a lot to ask of someone isn't it!

oliveoil Thu 21-Jul-05 13:24:30

What is your gut feeling? It's usually right.

Go with friend if you think she can cope. Does dd like her paternal gp's?

Easy Thu 21-Jul-05 13:30:48

Ah, I didn't realise your Boyfriend wasn't her father.

Does her father not see her, can't he have her for this?

WideWebWitch Thu 21-Jul-05 13:40:53

nursery person I reckon.

acnebride Thu 21-Jul-05 13:46:34

It looks to me as if you've put the options in your preferred order - so I'd start in that order. The fact that dd is going to be in nursery most of the time is a big plus. A bit of screaming and ring-running won't kill either of them. You might have to put meals in the freezer with instructions on them, in manner of annoying Oxo mum? Also ask bezzie mate to come round to play after nursery, if necessary, to share burden with boyf /[whisper] keep an eye on him?

Hate that feeling of being trapped with no way out. Don't you love jobs that pay like rubbish and insist you travel loads to depressing destinations? I'm assuming it's in downtown Bromley rather than Barbados.

Prufrock Thu 21-Jul-05 13:51:58

I would combine boyf (to come and stay at yours and take her to nursery in am) with nursery worker (to bring her home from nursery and put her to bed) before handing over to boyf again.

MascaraOHara Thu 21-Jul-05 15:22:57

Need to have a think and then decide. pain in the bum!

someone has got really stinky feet in my office todya.

lunavix Thu 21-Jul-05 15:39:48

MOH - Could you ask a childminder? I'm registered for overnight care, and I'd look after a child for 3 days running.

MascaraOHara Thu 21-Jul-05 17:13:22

Not sure, my main concern is that it's someone she knows (or even we know).

I don't know anyone who is a chldminder and I only really know a couple of mums who have kids dd's age and wouldn't really want to ask them.

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