My Nephew died two weeks ago, I asked for compassionate leave to go to his funeral which I was refused, I took three nights Annual leave as I had to travel to Scotland. I have just discovered that a woman I work with whos step mother died this week got compassionate leave to attend the funeral, to say I am furious is an understatement and I cant wait to see our manager tomorrow about this. What do others think? Was I entitled to it or not ?
Whether you were entitled to compassionate leave and if so how much completely depends on your employer's policy. Many employers who offer compassionate leave restrict it to immediate family, ie parents and siblings, for example. If that's the case where you are they may have taken the view that this woman's step mother was immediate family.
Employees may be granted up to 3 days paid leave on the death of a member of their immediate family, Less than 3 days may be considered for other close relations. In very exceptional circumstances a maximum of up to 5 days can be approved for example, where the death of a member of the immediate family occurs overseas or outside Northern Ireland or there are particular circumstances that would warrant additional leave.
As I live in Northern Ireland and the funeral was in Scotland I would have expected at least 2 days to attend the funeral. The person whos step mother who died is a woman of 65 who has never mentioned that fact that she had a step mother (not saying she doesnt have one) but I would have thought that a nephew was as close to a relative as a step mother, I am not saying she isnt entitled to it but I do think I also should have got it as well.
If any of my close family passed away I would take the time sick if necessary. Presumably this was a young member of your family it would definitely make me ill if one of my nephew nieces passed away and I was having to worry if my work felt that it was compassionate enough for me to attend the funeral.
I only have two brothers who dont live near me; and one of them has no children, both my parents are dead so I felt that my brother needed close family with him at this very sad time in his life. I was going to the funeral no matter what and didnt expect to get compassionate leave in the first place but did ask for it and it was refuse. I just feel that if you can get it for a step mother then why not a Nephew, the person who got the C/L has no annual leave left this year as she has used it all, but that is not really my problem (by the way I work for the health service) where equality for staff is a massive issue at the moment. It has also made me wonder what happens if my mother-in-law dies do I get it for her. As I have said before I have no problem with the person who got the C/L I just feel its very unfair the I have to use A/L when others get C/L
These things are very difficult and I understand why you feel frustrated, but unfortunately they do have to draw a line somewhere and, unfortunately, you fell just the wrong side.
To be honest, ignoring any personal circumstances about how close a person may be to non-immediate family members, a nephew would normally be considered far less 'close' family than a parent, and a step-parent would normally be treated as equivalent to a parent.