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Please help us make the right decision - sorry, rather long

(13 Posts)
albert Tue 07-Jun-05 09:45:15

As some of you may know, DH and I both work for the United Nations and are currently based in Venice. A place which we both absolutely love, my job is the best I've ever had and DS is in a fantastic school and really really happy here. A few months ago DH was told, verbally and in writing, that from mid August he would have no job as the job description was changing and it would require a specialist ie. not him. Of course we were/are frantic but this is normal behaviour for the UN and it is something we have been living under the threat of for the last 10 years. Now comes the tough decision, currently we have 4 options
a) DH has been offered a job in the British Embassy in Brazil (he is Brazilian) It's good but not fantastic and he suspects that after a couple of years he will be bored. We would have to pack up and leave Venice within the next 3 months. All our possesions would be subject to import tax, DS would not be able to start school until next Jan, I would obviously have to quit my job.
b) DH has always wanted to do a PhD. There is an international university here in Venice which offers a very good PhD in the field in which DH is interested. It would start in September but of course, even with a grant, there would be very little income for us. We could just about survive on my wages but it would meant that we could stay in Venice
c) A replacement for DH has not been found and he has been asked to stay on in his current job but you can imagine how his moral is. Again though, we could stay here - but don't know for how long
d) There is a very good chance of a job in London which means us living in the UK, me for the first time in 15 years DS for the first time ever. Again it means a new school for DS probably to start mid-term (Novemberish) and no job for me. I admit to being rather apprehensive about returning to the UK after all this time and TBH I don't really want to.
We really don't know what option to take, any advise you can offer? The only thing we do know is that we will stay together and I will follow DH whatever the final decision is. We are being very honest with each other about what we want and that is the only thing that we are clear about. Other than that we are totally confused, please help

starlover Tue 07-Jun-05 09:47:24

i would go with b

TracyK Tue 07-Jun-05 09:48:24

I'd stay and do the PHD - money isn't everything and you can always top up your income/pare down your expenses to accomodate??
Can dh stay in his job till Spet and salt away all your money till then? can he work parttime at UN while he's doing course?

Gwenick Tue 07-Jun-05 09:48:56

I'd go for B.

My reasons

1. You obviously REALLY want to stay in Venice, your DS is in a great school, and your DH would be able to do the PHd he's always wanted to do.

2. As long as you can 'survive' - if you want to stay badly enough (which I suspect you do) you'll make ends meet - and once he's 'got' his Phd presumably he'll be able to get a decent salaried job.

3. I always say go with the 'heart' (as long as you can pay the bills).

Frizbe Tue 07-Jun-05 09:50:26

Oh crikey, options, options, this'll have to be quick as I have loads of work to do, but.... could your dh start the PHD in Venice, as you both obviously love it there and as work really need him temporarily, could he come to an arrangment to do that on a part time basis type thing? to keep you in the money a bit longer? this way you can keep your job and dh gets to do what he's always wanted, and you may get a tad of extra income? even if just for a bit?
My reasoning is the PHD will be worth its weight in gold once he gets it, and you'll all be happier staying put right? Plus if it gets really tight financially surely dh could always get another something part time to see you thru?
{{{Hugs}}} and good luck choosing

albert Tue 07-Jun-05 10:23:57

Thanks for those unanimous answers, you are all thinking along the same lines as we are. DH is currently writing up his draft thesis proposal to submit so I think we will follow our (his) heart and turn down Brazil (thank God - but don't tell him I said that) and the UK.

TracyK Tue 07-Jun-05 10:26:28

maybe you could supplement your income by doing weekend breaks to us MNers??

Gwenick Tue 07-Jun-05 10:27:24

I think we will follow our (his) heart

Don't be daft it's your heart too - it's obvious from your posts - I remeber (vaguely) posts from you in the past where you obviously ADORE Venice!

saadia Tue 07-Jun-05 10:35:40

Agree with the b option - Venice is beautiful, if I lived there I wouldn't want to leave either.

WideWebWitch Tue 07-Jun-05 10:37:48

Another vote for b

Tissy Tue 07-Jun-05 10:39:18

TracyK, I was going to suggest the same thing-if you have a spare room, rent it out to MNers to make a few extra bob! I love Venice, but always baulk at the cost of staying!

albert Tue 07-Jun-05 10:46:19

Well this is very encouraging, thank you. Unfortunatley won't be able to suppliment my income by renting a spare room to you lot because we haven't got one. If you baulk at the cost of hotels you should see the cost of housing but I suppose there has to be a down side in such an otherwise fabulous place. Gwenick, you're right of course about 'our' heart. Ooh gosh, I feel so much better now having read your replies

expatinscotland Tue 07-Jun-05 10:49:50

I'd go with b.

What's money when you're unhappily away from Venice? You'll make it work. He could even get a part-time job to go w/his studies.

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