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Help I need to make this job ad a bit shorter - what do I dump?

(9 Posts)
Katymac Thu 10-Sep-09 11:35:32

Only a bit shorter - because it doesn't fit

What do I leave out?

"There are 2 part time positions working within a well-qualified team in a small and friendly childcare setting with a recent OFSTED grading of Outstanding.

Position 1: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday 14:00-18:00 (12 hrs),
Position 2: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday 8:00-12:00 (12 hrs); and they may be worked as a job-share for the right applicants. It is anticipated that these hours will increase over time.

These are positions which can be flexible and may occasionally need additional hours to cover sickness/holidays (subsidised childcare maybe provided), full training will be provided.

Pay: £6.00 per hour during training, once qualified £6.50 phr.

Applicants must be enthusiastic about working with children and also be able to assist with some administrative duties. There will be a comprehensive induction program and the post necessitates a CRB check which employer will arrange; First Aid, Food Hygiene and professional training will be provided.

This is a great opportunity for someone with a natural flair for childcare who wishes to develop their career through training at NVQ level with the support of a friendly, outgoing staff team. Your role will help to maintain a safe, secure and happy environment, help children achieve early learning goals and build positive relationships with parents."

TIA

janinlondon Thu 10-Sep-09 11:46:49

You need to say how much you want to chop? Below is a suggestion:

2 part time positions available in a well-qualified team in a small and friendly childcare setting with a recent Outstanding OFSTED grading.

Position 1: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday 14:00-18:00 (12 hrs),
Position 2: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday 8:00-12:00 (12 hrs); these may be worked as a job-share for the right applicants. Hours are anticipated to increase over time.

The positions can be flexible and may occasionally need additional hours to cover sickness/holidays (subsidised childcare may be provided). Full training will be provided.

Pay: £6.00 per hour during training, once qualified £6.50 phr.

Applicants must be enthusiastic about working with children,and able to assist with some administrative duties. A comprehensive induction programme is provided. The employer will arrange a CRB check; First Aid, Food Hygiene and professional training will be provided.

These are great opportunities for applicants with a natural flair for childcare who wish to develop their careers through training at NNVQ level with the support of a friendly, outgoing team. Your role will help to maintain a safe, secure and happy environment, help children achieve early learning goals and build positive relationships with parents."

TIA

Katymac Thu 10-Sep-09 12:07:37

Thanks Jan - that's on the right lines but I think it needs to be about 2/3rds the length

It is a bit much for a post office ad - but I don't want a lot of people ringing & wasting my time - I have had a bad run of applicants, so I am trying advertising in a different place

potplant Thu 10-Sep-09 12:11:00

If you need a drastic chop, then ditch the last paragraph completely and add the NVQ training bit where you have 'Full training will be provided'

Katymac Thu 10-Sep-09 12:53:55

Sorry I went off to do lunch

So:
2 part time positions available in a well-qualified team in a small and friendly childcare setting with a recent Outstanding OFSTED grading.

Position 1: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday 14:00-18:00 (12 hrs),
Position 2: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday 8:00-12:00 (12 hrs); these may be worked as a job-share for the right applicants. Hours are anticipated to increase over time.

The positions can be flexible and may occasionally need additional hours to cover sickness/holidays (subsidised childcare may be provided). Full training will be provided.

Pay: £6.00 per hour during training, once qualified £6.50 phr.
Applicants must be enthusiastic about working with children,and able to assist with some administrative duties. A comprehensive induction programme is provided. The employer will arrange a CRB check; First Aid, Food Hygiene and professional training (incl NVQ if wanted)will be provided.

Is that better?

potplant Thu 10-Sep-09 22:12:16

I think so.

If you don't mind me saying - why advertise in the Post Office? Mine is full of old biddies picking up their pensions, which is probably not your target market. Have you thought about going through and agency or something aimed at the people you are recruiting?

Katymac Thu 10-Sep-09 22:17:34

For a 12 hour a week job?

Surely only someone local would work that little?

potplant Thu 10-Sep-09 23:29:58

Twas just an observation.
I wasn't thinking of the Guardian jobs pages btw, just a local paper or online job place. Have no specifics as I don't know anything about that kind of work.
Good luck smile

Katymac Thu 10-Sep-09 23:38:32

I think our post offcies are different ours is the hub of the village (only shop for maybe 6-12 miles in any direction)

Everyone local visits at least once or twice a week

It is in the local children's centre as it stands plus it is going on the council childcare jobs website

But I am struggling to recruit the position - so I am thinking laterally (I hope)

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