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New job/help required....

(18 Posts)
Mothernature Thu 19-May-05 10:01:41

I have been given an opportunity to apply for a 'new job' within the company I am working for, it will be completely different from what I am doing now and need some support, firstly I need to apply in writing and would like to suggest to them 'subliminally' to resquest me for an interview over any others, help me compose a good one pleaseeeeeeee.

Mothernature Thu 19-May-05 10:51:24


hub2dee Thu 19-May-05 11:09:55

I'm not sure there are too many versed in the art of subliminal suggestion, Mothernature.

Mothernature Thu 19-May-05 11:14:13

I could really do with a bit of insperation...

hub2dee Thu 19-May-05 11:19:15

Maybe less on the subliminal, more on the 'ordinary' type of application letter ?

If you want to stand a good chance, do lots of research around the proposed post (you say it's not your area of expertise, so there must be some stuff you need to swat up on), go and speak to the boss / HR so that they know you will be applying and can put a name to a face, and you might glean more info about what the role requires.

And, if you really want, put a draft on here (without your name / company name / post), and some of the copy writers might be able to improve on a particular turn on phrase / structure... (be sure to run a spell check first, and get it as good as you can before you post so they have more 'flesh' to work with.

I'd keep the application letter short and sweet though, as a general guide.

Mothernature Thu 19-May-05 11:27:49

Should I just send in my application letter and then if required forward my C.V ? the company are well aware of who I am and where I am don't know if that's something in my favour or not lol.. the job is conected to the job I do now, but would mean travelling to various Council Offices within the area.

I think this would be the ideal time for me to apply for something like this as children are now ready to be more independent, the hours are longer and I'm not getting any younger I need to look to the future I have 20 years works experience behind me and 20 more to give, I just want better money and more stimulating work.

hub2dee Thu 19-May-05 11:35:31

Sounds like a perfect opporunity to push yourself and advance your career.

Ref: application - it depends what they've asked for. I would stick to it to the letter !

They may want it to be handwritten, to include a CV, to be on a special form etc.

I'd do exactly what's asked, no more, no less... except do as much research into the position as possible... is a it a brand new post or existing ? Why do they need a new person ? What might THEY hope to get out of a new person ? What new / different / better ways could YOU do the job ? What are the general 'impact factors' affecting the post (threatened by budget cuts / need to self-finance / need for better PR or comms with residents etc. etc. etc.) just show you've really thought about it and that you're qualified, experienced and keen. It's all you can do.

Best way to start ?


Open Word. Start typing your draft.

Improve it at your leisure.

Wondering / worrying about how to make a stunner won't get you there !

Get started on a draft as soon as you can.


Mothernature Thu 19-May-05 11:42:21

Thanks hub2dee already got word open but nothing is flowing at the moent I emailed the invtation to myself yesterday but deleted it by mistake so i'll have to do it again when I get to work.

It is a 'new' position we are offering a 'new service' to run along side what we do already, someone has been trained up and they now have enough work to require someone else, to cope with amount of work now requested.

6 weeks training in another office followed by three weeks at a NSS department, I'm so tempted...

hub2dee Thu 19-May-05 11:47:04

Well, you deffo won't get it sitting on your tush, so you should deffo apply.

And if you've been 'keeping quiet' / head down etc. think of this as an opportunity to acknowledge to yourself that you SHOULD be looking for other stuff / something to push you a bit, a new job, whatever.

That way you'll be more receptive to other possibilities around you.

Good luck with it.

Maybe wait till you've re-e-mailed yourself the 'invitation' so you can respond appropriately (unless you pretty much remember it).

New Service > expansion, cost saving, profit boosting, improve methodology / service provision, learn from xyz (other area of outstanding service provision), avoid abc (area of dreadful failiure), individual ways YOU might bring something special to the role.

Mothernature Thu 19-May-05 12:11:54

Ok heres my first attempt:

Dear *****

I would like to take this opportunity to apply for the position that has arisen due to the expansion of our Services; I feel I have much to offer and would welcome an extension to my abilities, I have worked for **** & *** for the last five years, consisting of weekend work to both the ** and ** offices, the later of which I am currently working Monday to Friday afternoons, I have successfully endeavoured to apply myself fully to my position, and feel that I would be the ideal candidate you are looking for.

I find at this stage in my career I have an advantage to widen my skills, which I sincerely wish to confine to this Company, I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Well what do you think? what should I change?

Mothernature Thu 19-May-05 12:33:52


hub2dee Thu 19-May-05 12:34:57

Patience is a virtue, Mothernature. Typing takes time.

It does depend on what they've asked for, that is VERY important... anyway:

scrap 'take this opp.' Go direct:

I am writing to apply for...

Before 'I feel' I'd insert some background 'hook phrase' about the post that shows you have thought about it.

scrap 'extension to my abilities' - Go for 'challenge' or sommit like that.

I've worked for * & * - put in any concrete measurable achievements: Did you boost profit / cut expenses / got nominated for best employee / secured xyz changes / etc. - something they can't argue with.

I'd simplify the phrase describing your working timetable. Emphasise your flexibility in travelling to different offices if relevant.

'.... endeavoured....' phrase - I'd turn it around: I feel I would be an ideal candidate for this role because... [insert more / different qualities / skills / attendance / stuff from the 'achievement' text above you didn't use.

(latter has two 'l's)

'I have an advantage' is incorrect phrase here. 'confine' sounds a bit threatening to them: 'do it or I walk'... I'd turn it round into a positive conclusion:

I am looking forward to the challenge of xyz / expanding my knowledge of xyz / etc.


Mothernature Thu 19-May-05 12:37:43

Thankyou for both your time and to work now will chase this later...

SaintGeorge Thu 19-May-05 12:38:20

All of H2D's sage advice. Then get one of the punctuation MN gurus to check it over - in your first attempt that first paragraph is actually one sentence and needs to be broken down.

SenoraPostrophe Thu 19-May-05 12:39:33

I would say

I would like to apply for the position of [job title]

(the bit about expansion of services makes it a bit wordy and you need to get to the point)

for the same reason - "I have worked for...for 5 years, during which time I have...."

also change "extend my abilities" to expand my experience or something like that - you have the abilities they need already, remember!

Finally use "...feel that I am the ideal candidate for the job" - using for at the end of a sentence is like misusing an apostrophe for some people and it's best not to do it in a job app just in case.

hub2dee Thu 19-May-05 12:43:17

...just in case there's someone as pedantic as us lot.

<<hugs>> to all pedants.

SenoraPostrophe Thu 19-May-05 12:48:48

ahh, thanks h2d.

latter doesn't have 2 "l"s by the way. It has 2 "t"s

hub2dee Thu 19-May-05 13:52:34

SP: woops, typo. You'll have to trust me on that one.

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