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Getting fed up with barbed comments (and probably about to explode)!

(13 Posts)
Tanzie Wed 11-May-05 22:38:31

I drop my children at school every morning, which means I don't get into work until around 0915-0930. If I have an early meeting, say about 0830 or 0900, I always juggle things about and make it in for the meeting. I rarely leave the office until around 1900, so taking the children to school is very precious to me as we have so little time in the evening. I missed an early meeting the other morning, as I wasn't aware I was expected to attend - I hadn't been included in any of the preparation meetings etc. Lovely Boss said "Did you not realise that the meeting started at 0845?" I said that I had known, but it was never made clear to me that I was meant to cover it. The following morning the children weren't at school, so I came in early and she kept looking at her watch and saying "Has the clock stopped, oh no, it hasn't, my goodness, you can do it and come in early when you try." I thought this was out of order and my colleague who overheard did as well, but I didn't say anything. Another colleague told me that Lovely Boss is always bitching to her about me, saying she always has to do "everything" as "people with children are never there as they are always off for sick children or half term or something." (Is anyone still awake?!) I take my annual leave for these eventualities (which she approves!) and don't feel I take the piss at all (neither do my other colleagues). I'm just getting fed up with these emarks and need to say something to her before I explode and lose the plot completely, but am not sure what. Any ideas?

Tanzie Wed 11-May-05 23:24:53

I'd also add (sourly) that another colleague (male) drops his DD at nursery and never gets in until 1000 and is seen as "a lovely hands on Dad, aaah..." He also leaves at 1715 to collect her as the nursery shuts at 1800...

fatmomma Wed 11-May-05 23:41:31

What a cow! I would confront her head on - say you have been upset by her remarks and ask if the company (not her) has a problem with your hours. Someone must have approved this arrangement when you went back to work.

Is your company big enough to have a staff handbook - if so have a look in there and see if there is a policy for fair treatment of part time workers. I know you don't work part time but as a working parent the same sort of principals apply. You can also point out to her that you are legally entitled to take unpaid time off for the care of any dependant (not just children) and that you are being accomodating by taking holiday instead.

This woman is being incredibly unprofessional in discussing your circumstances with other employees and if things don't improve I would speak with your personnel department. Sounds like she could do with some retraining!

I have had some problems with my company since going back to work part time but have found that they are mainly communication issues. Managers have a habit of forgetting about us!

I really sympathise with your position and am sure you could do without the stress. We have a punch bag in our office for situations like this!

morocco Thu 12-May-05 00:12:58

do you think you would get anywhere by challenging her directly and calmly the next time she makes such a comment, asking, as fatmomma suggested, if the company has any problem or issue with your hours that she would like to raise with you. I would guess that she might back down pretty quickly if challenged but keep going if not. I have found that snide commments like these are often made by cowards who are unwilling to back them up if challenged
good luck

ScummyMummy Thu 12-May-05 00:38:43

I think the reality is that some bosses can be twatweevils about this sort of thing. I think clarity and a thick skin are about the only weapons one can muster sometimes. You know that ultimately your kids, quite rightly, come first. I think you need to project that fact quite firmly and confidently back to moaning minnies such as your boss. E.g. "Yes. It is nice to be in early. Most days I have to take the kids to school though. I love my job and I love my kids but where there is a clash my kids come first." If you can say that sort of thing with belief your boss's poor and unprofessional behaviour might diminish a bit as at least she'd know she wasn't getting to you.

slug Thu 12-May-05 15:52:12

ScummyMummy, twatweevils is my new favourite word

Fio2 Thu 12-May-05 15:55:35

9.30am til 7pm is more than enough hours covered, what the hell is she on about 'these people with children" twisted bitch honestly is there anyone more senior you can complain to, its discrimination. Surely they can wait an hour for a meeting anyway??

motherinferior Thu 12-May-05 15:56:49

I think it might piss her off MORE if you took no notice.

Twatweevil. I only advocate this course of action in order to annoy her, btw.

Fio2 Thu 12-May-05 15:58:04

glad to see we are all obeying mumsnet swearing policy

Tanzie Thu 12-May-05 20:46:54

I love, love, love Twatweevil . Someone from Personnel popped in today to ask about flexible working hours and if it was working out. I'm afraid I exploded and once my little mouth was open, it wouldn't stop! She was really sympathetic, said I shouldn't be working such long hours and my boss was being out of order. Without naming names, she said she would have a word with the head honchos and tell them that this was unacceptable behaviour. My case was helped by another (female) colleague who had had a rant to them about "people taking the piss by coming in at 0930 every day!"

Why are so many women bosses like this? I've worked for three so far, and I'm afraid to say, give me a man anyday, the women I've worked for are all sour, grudge bearing witches! On the plus side, I think it has helped my management style, and I'll bend over backwards to help my staff when they need it. (I was on call to babysit at night when the wife of one of the men who worked for me was due to go into labour!)

WideWebWitch Thu 12-May-05 20:50:10

God she's a witch isn't she? No advice but sympathy.

Tanzie Thu 12-May-05 21:07:45

Thank you WWW. I meant no offense to witches!

kelli22 Fri 20-May-05 18:29:46

Don't worry about it tanzie, you've done what you can she's obviously got issues - has she got kids herself? maybe she wants kids but has never been nice enough to anyone in her life for them to want to bring children into the world with such a selfish cow of a person.
she's jelous that you have a fulfilling career and children and don't have to be nasty to people on a daily basis to enjoy your life.

good luck to you and lets hope she crawls into a hole soon, i hate people that behave like that, they have no right (ooops i think i went off on one, but you know i'm so right)

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