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help me deal with these beetches

(13 Posts)
stabintheback Sat 13-Jun-09 14:52:09

i have had to move offices some months back and am not happy with my 2 colleagues.
one in temporarily doing another persons's job <<who is away but due back soon>> they don't want the other person to come back.
they did ask me some weeks ago if i would back them up in their claims not to let the other person back in the unit.
i said No, i wouldnt do that to someone. my job was changed when i came back from maternity leave many years ago and i wouldnt want to put anyone else in that position.

so, perhaps coincidentally, perhaps not, since then they have stabbed me in the back 3 times at least now.
i feel that way anyway.
a mistake was made, not sure if it was by me and rather than taking it to me they took it to the manager.
i went away for a week and came back to another mistake <<my fault>> taken to line manager, welcomed back to an email from my line manager suggesting we meet.
and i work part time and after an afternoon away from work came back to anotehr email from my line manager pointing out stuff that they had told her, that was somethign and nothing frankly.

so why couldnt they talk to me themselves about these issues?
how can i face them and work with them>?

Molesworth Sat 13-Jun-09 15:19:40

Would it be possible to have it out with them directly, or do you think this might make things worse?

stabintheback Sat 13-Jun-09 15:20:22

thanks for your reply.
i am a weekling, and they know it, i would probalby cry,

Molesworth Sat 13-Jun-09 15:22:52

I really feel for you - it sounds like a horrible situation If they saw how upsetting this is for you surely they wouldn't be so heartless as to continue? Maybe it would make the realise the impact of their behaviour and think twice about acting like that in future?

Or am I being too idealistic here

stabintheback Sat 13-Jun-09 15:25:03

thanks, it doesnt help that i feel one of them wants my job, so that is the reason for this behaviour

<<paranoia or realistic>>

Molesworth Sat 13-Jun-09 15:25:27

Sorry, meant to add, what was your line manager's reaction? Perhaps you could talk to her about this too, and - if she's supportive - maybe organise a meeting with all of you present to talk things over?

stabintheback Sat 13-Jun-09 15:27:02


she has been absolutely fine shock
no probs whatsoever, she does not have a go at me, believe me these are not serious issues, they happen
she says speel like How Can we resolve this,
and stuff.

i may well collect her emails to me and put it in writing all to her.

HecatesTwopenceworth Sat 13-Jun-09 15:29:21

They won't talk to you about the issues because they aren't doing this because of the mistakes, they are out to make you look bad / get fired.

They tried to get you to help them stop another woman from getting her job back.

They have taken advantage of any mistakes made by you, and pointing them out to the boss in order to make the boss question your ability.

I don't really think they have a better side to appeal to!

I think all you can do is work super hard to not make any mistakes, make sure they have nothing real (however petty) to get you pulled up on. That way, they are left only with made up stuff, which you can demonstrate are fake, and build up a case against them.

Do they not want the other woman back because it means one of them loses their job?

stabintheback Sat 13-Jun-09 15:31:53

thanks hecate.
yes, one goes back to part time,
she was hoping to job share with me hmm
but that isnt written in stone.

tribpot Sat 13-Jun-09 15:33:28

Sounds like a pretty unpleasant situation and very stressful for you.

If you look at the three incidents in a different light:
- the first could have been your fault
- the second was
- the third was something (albeit something and nothing).

So maybe this is how your line manager wants to manage minor errors within the team (pretty bloody doubtful though). Maybe express surprise to her that she wants every minor issuette brought to her attention? Also [off the record] that you're worried your colleagues seem to have concerns about your performance .. blah blah .. maybe even drop them in it that they also "have concerns" about this other person coming back into the team, suggest a meeting to clear the air or similar.

Depends what your line manager is like. Is she just talking the talk or is she genuinely concerned about the morale in the team?

HecatesTwopenceworth Sat 13-Jun-09 15:34:27

I see. Well, I think you just have to make damned sure they have no ammunition, and keep a book recording all their bitchyness, in case you need to complain about them at a later date.

stabintheback Sat 13-Jun-09 15:36:41

thanks again
line manager has always said she doesnt want the other person back <<unprofessional i know>>
but her hands are tied.

stabintheback Sat 13-Jun-09 15:38:02

i am going to find email line manager sent to me when i came back from leave <<deleted, but i think i can undelete it>>
and the other email
and file them somewhere.
and bloody try my hardest,


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