Talk

Advanced search

If you wor kin an all amle enviroment, is it possible to have freinds, without getting yourself into bother

(10 Posts)
whatdayisit Tue 08-Jul-08 22:16:19

I have posted on here about this before, but basically, a man I have worked with for many many years has decided he has "feelings" for me. This has conicided with there being some gossip about us.

We have spent a lot of time together over the years and get on very well, so perhaps not surprising that people talk. We enjoy our work and there is a lot of banter in the office, with some inuendo, but that is true of most of my collegues, not just him.

Anyway, did I get what I asked for by being (over?)friendly with him? Do I have to accept that I can never be friends with a collegue. The only other female in our team of 25 is c.25 years younger than me and women have been in a minority of 1 or 2 in every job I have had for the last 20 years.

whatdayisit Tue 08-Jul-08 22:18:21

sorry, I really should have read the title back blush

whatdayisit Wed 09-Jul-08 09:29:07

Really, no-one even wants to tell me how stupid I've been? Or are you boycotting my terrible spelling? smile

GooseyLoosey Wed 09-Jul-08 09:35:52

The majority of my collegues and all of my contemporaries are male. I am friends with many of them, they sleep at my house sometimes (dh of course is there) and I have stayed with them (without dh). There has never been any inuendo or sexual tension between us. I am happily married and they all know it. So no, I don't think that its not possible to be friends with men in the office.

Don't think you have been over friendly with the collegue either, but now you know he has feelings for you, I would try and distance him a bit and avoid the 2 of you being alone together as much as possible.

firsttimemama Wed 09-Jul-08 09:53:11

Whilst inuendo is often just harmless I think if it exists some people may think there is a chance to make it real. I have used inuendo to my advantage when it suited me ie when I was single and perhaps looking for some fun (with another single) however now I am unavailable I make sure I don't indulge in it.

whatdayisit Wed 09-Jul-08 21:17:44

shameless bump - any of the evening crowd got an opinion?

OverMyDeadBody Wed 09-Jul-08 21:21:29

It's a isk you take when being friends with people of the opposite sex, but a risk I am happy to take as I have some very good close male friends.

I am a climber too, which is a heavily male dominated sport, and the only female at my local climbing wall. Obviously I am very good firends with a lot of them. Some have developed feelings for me, I have developed feelings for some of them in the past, but it is worth it for the friendships I have acquired. And I don't give a toss about any gossip that goes on about possible relationships I have with any of my firends grin

OverMyDeadBody Wed 09-Jul-08 21:23:18

I am single though so am allowed to partake in shameless flirting and inuendo with my male friends (or with the single ones anyway!)

paddingtonbear1 Wed 09-Jul-08 21:25:34

I've worked in a mainly male environment for years - not many women are keen on my line of work I don't think! I've been friends with several of my colleagues, and it's never been a problem. So yes it is possible!
It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, but now you should really keep some distance for a while. I assume you've had a word and he knows you're not interested?

tortoiseSHELL Wed 09-Jul-08 21:25:38

Yes. I work in an all male environment, and it is eminently possible. Having said that, I'm married to a colleague!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now