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Unpaid parental leave in notice period

5 replies

Tigersaurus · 01/05/2021 20:20

I’d like to resign from my job which has a 3 month notice period. I’m anticipating my line manager is going to be very annoyed and want me to stay as long as possible. We’re both in middle/high level positions in the company and its undergoing a very long restructuring. If I go there is no natural replacement so my work will fall to them. It will be difficult to recruit a replacement and there is no one in my team willing or able to take over. However I’m sure my manager will want me to stay right to the end so they have the longest time possible to try and find someone. Although there is no way someone can be trained in 3 months as we have specialist knowledge which has taken years to learn.

Without going into details most of the organisation is overworked and I’m currently doing about 2.5-3 full time roles at once. It seems impossible to be able to change strategy without senior support and we are essentially waiting for the restructuring rather than helping staff now. Many are on sick leave or have resigned. The whole company now has a horrible culture of being told one thing verbally (work every hour of the day/weekend and suck it up) yet written info is all about well-being, work life balance, and resilience training. For a while I thought things would eventually pass and we’d find a new normal at work but I feel dreadful, my home is a mess, and my family is suffering because of my job. This has been going on for more than 2 years with the pandemic on top. Everything is now screaming to me that this is not a place to be working anymore.

While my manager is superficially supportive it ends up coming down to inferring me/the team are weak/useless/slow etc. rather than acknowledging there are some specific problem areas, everyone is in difficulty in the organisation, and trying to find short term solutions to prevent mass employee burnout. I just want to get out now. Maybe I am lazy but life is too short for this.

I have no job yet but have applied to some possibilities. I also have 6 months savings and my DH’s salary alone covers our costs of living. I’ve had to go on sick leave with a flare of a chronic illness but will be back shortly. Incidentally this is the final reason for leaving as I’ve never had to take sick leave for this condition before and have only taken 1 day sick leave for an unrelated reason in the previous 3 years. My body is telling me this is unsustainable.

I need to be civil and professional so I can ask for a reference when required. Also aware you never know who you’ll work with again in future. I would like to handover what I can, leave notes and tie up loose ends. So I am willing to come back for a bit but 3 months seems unmanageable. Every day I procrastinate I then panic that it’s more days I’m stuck in the place. I know things are piling up, there will be literally 1000s of emails no one has replied to despite a re-direct notice, and the second I’m back more people will be in contact. So I need to limit the amount of time I’m back to prevent me becoming unwell again. I’m also not at all keen on going on leave with stress in case that causes any difficulties joining a new employer.

I will try to speak to OH but my manager has a history with other colleagues of not really rating OH advice and being fairly unhelpful in people returning to work for whatever reason. They say they will be supportive in writing but the first day back always pile on more work than usual then say to the person they have to be able to manage at that level or they shouldn’t be at work.

I’ll have just over 4 weeks of annual leave owed to me but if I understand correctly my employer can just refuse this and pay me when I leave.

The alternative I thought of is unpaid parental leave. I’ve never taken any before but am eligible to request it and have several dc. Part of the reason I’m struggling is that one dc has specific learning difficulties and has fallen massively behind with the pandemic so it would be really helpful to have more time after school and weekends doing some catch up work with them and me not being stressed out of my mind/exhausted/ill/shouting.

Does anyone know if I can request unpaid parental leave during my notice period? If I give 21 days notice I believe they can postpone for up to 6 months but not refuse. So can they just say they need to postpone by 6 months and this falls outside my notice period? I can’t find anything online which covers this issue.

I’m thinking about contacting HR next week to check this question about parental leave, and also talk to my union and OH. However I’m really not keen on talking to lots of people, creating problems/accusations as I see from others who’ve left that there is no point going down this route. I just want to get out as quietly and quickly as possible. Although I guess if I have to serve a 3 month sentence then so be it.

Any tips/experience of parental leave in this situation or in managing to negotiate a shorter notice period for a specialist role would be gratefully received.

Apologies for the long post!

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Aprilx · 03/05/2021 09:03

Your employer can postpone the parental leave so long as they have a significant business reason. In my opinion, they would be able to argue this relatively easily, particularly as you have specialist skills.

If I were you I would resign myself to working the notice, you will hopefully find that things that have previously caused you stress will not bother you so much once you have resigned and there is a firm end date in sight. That is my experience anyway.

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Toty · 03/05/2021 09:10

Yeah they can postpone parental leave to suit them. I'd give your notice now and get your sick leave extended if possible. If you do end up having to go back don't work yourself stupid, just work at a steady pace, thousands of unanswered emails are not your problem (or won't be for much longer).

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AnotherEmma · 03/05/2021 09:15

Resign, request annual leave for the last month, then you'll only have 2 months to get through, and if necessary you could have sick leave for some of that time if it's all too much.

You said you're planning to talk to OH and your union, sounds sensible - your union in particular exists to help you with things like this.

Resigning sounds absolutely the right decision so just do it and grit your teeth through the fallout. Do what you can at work but if you can't do everything, what's the worst that could happen?!

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Tigersaurus · 03/05/2021 11:09

Thanks for the comments and suggestions. So it sounds like they can postpone parental leave outside the notice period. That’s helpful to know before I negotiate.

Physically I’ll be well enough to go back soon but the thought of once again being in the job seems unbearable. It’s been a real shock that the job and working through the pandemic has physically affected me. Although now I’ve had a chance to rest and reflect it’s not surprising that working at such high intensity with lack of sleep would make someone unwell. I was just pushing through and surviving. Once school was back with wrap-around care/holiday club running again I actually had a moment to stop and realise how awful I was feeling. Definitely a lesson here.

I’ll try and take a chunk of leave at the end but I suspect my boss won’t allow more than 1-2 weeks together. We’ll see. On the other hand doing 5 days a week also seems impossible. So I’ll speak to my union and OH first to see if I can negotiate some sort of phased return with annual leave at the end. I’d prefer not to be on sick leave again, but if that’s required then I’ll have to take that route I suppose.

I guess it’s also true than once I’ve actually resigned then it will be easier to grit my teeth through it all. And yes, I will just work my actual hours and then handover whatever remains on my final day. It’s sad things have come to this as I used to really enjoy my job, but things have changed a lot and there’s no point putting myself through all this. My main concern is trying to have some sort of career after all this. I’m worried that I’ll need a reference and it’s a small world so never know what my boss might say to someone informally, outside a written reference. I’ll try to get through as professionally as possible without making myself unwell again though.

Thanks all.

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Toty · 03/05/2021 14:34

Good luck OP. I left a stressful job last year and honestly you'll feel great once you've handed your notice in. Your health has to come first.

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