How to deal with this!?

(8 Posts)
Darklava09 Sat 26-Sep-20 20:43:58

I have a “ colleague/line manager” who is causing me some grief at work.

I started off in a senior role and they clearly did not take well to me potentially questioning them in their role or giving them direction.

They are also of a senior role but in a different position. Anyways, they are very close to my overseeing line manager. For some reason a decision was made that they’d becoming my line manager because they have years more experience than me and would mentor me!?

Our roles closely overlap but it’s becoming difficult

So far they are
- not allowing me access to certain databases and will find excuses as to why they can’t or forget to meet me. Therefore, I can’t fulfil certain parts of my
- Re- do my work without telling me. I walked into work and they had taken down my information and re designed it ( looked worse in all fairness)
- Meant to be paired up on a project and they didn’t make no contact and when I reached out they said they “ didn’t have time” and had started it without consulting me but had time to reach out to another colleague and go through theirs with them!?
- not including me in emails or sending me stuff that may be useful in my job but expects me to send everything I know of or do to them?
- speaks to me very patronising almost like I’ve just walked out of college despite doing it over 10yrs confused

I’ve had previous managers micromanage me, make me feel utterly shit and it proper made me anxious.

The past few weeks I’m starting to feel anxious and almost feel like I’ve lost any seniority I had when I started as I feel unsure of what I can do and what I should or shouldn’t “ run” past them and almost doubting myself in that role.

I don’t even know how to deal with it. I don’t really like conflict as such and they would be very passive aggressive if I no doubt bought this to their attention.

Any advice

OP’s posts: |
HaggieMaggie Mon 28-Sep-20 07:14:01

I don’t get the first few paragraphs. If you were in a senior role and so were they but in a different position, why were you questioning them and giving them direction? hmm

Sounds like you have got their backup, and now possibly due to this, they have been given the manager role and will mentor you because they have more experience.

Are you sure you’re not actually the problem?

Bluntness100 Mon 28-Sep-20 07:22:29

I’m also curious why you were questioning and giving them direction?

It seems an error in approach was made here if your company felt they should become your manager and mentor you.

You need to sit down with them and understand their expectations, and agree regular reviews, and a path forward, in terms of communication.

From your phrasing it doesn’t seem like you accept them as your manager, and still see them as your peer. This never ends well, even though it’s understandable. So ask for a meeting as stated.

Darklava09 Mon 28-Sep-20 10:43:11

@HaggieMaggie because our departments overlap I have to question what they do, how it’s done here compared to other areas ect.
Also, when I took the role I was told they are the lead for this branch but I’ll be overseeing a certain aspect of it. Hence why I need to question. Not only that I’m going to ask questions because I don’t want to tread on their toes and give direction because of the job role I specialise in quite a few bits that they haven’t.

@Bluntness100 it’s not that I don’t accept them as my line manager it’s just that I have come in as a specialist really in the area and it appears that they didn’t seem to like it I.e questioning what experience I had and if I could complete simple forms and I am a lot younger than them.

I have no issue with them but for example if they are sending forms out for their branch include me because so I can do the same at mine!? As we’re all meant to be the same

OP’s posts: |
Bluntness100 Mon 28-Sep-20 11:26:35

Ok, I get it, it’s unusual though to say you over see them and now they over see you and are your manager, but companies do weird shit all the time

However your phrasing is discomfiting, the use of the word questioning them sounds very negative, like you’re looking for fault

I think you need to draw a line under it, and set up a meeting to agree their expectations, communications flow, how they review your activities etc and your way of working.

Florencex Mon 28-Sep-20 12:09:40

I think you should have a clear the air type of conversation.

I also SoundTouch appreciate somebody of a similar level to me in a different position “questioning me or giving me direction”. I suspect you have rubbed somebody up the wrong way and maybe need to try and start with a clean slate.

Florencex Mon 28-Sep-20 12:10:21

*would not. I have no idea where SoundTouch came from. 😕

Darklava09 Mon 28-Sep-20 12:36:04

@Florencex I no doubt agree but it wouldn’t of been intentional. I was told that they were doing that role and I’d be overseeing it overall. That came from my overall line manager. Then I think that persons then gone to my line manager because they wasn’t happy about it.. Which I would understand.
Following on from their discussion is when they would be overseeing aspects of my role. This was never explained to me when I started.

I think some of the issue is my job role wasn’t made clear it’s been made out to be one thing and then changed but I wasn’t consulted. It doesn’t help that in 2 of the branches I have seniority but in this specific one I am not treated as senior but more of a lackey hmm

OP’s posts: |

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